Thanks for the advice. I think I might go through later and do some purging on my comments, just in case Toolman logs on to check on me. I suppose it's pretty sad that I can't trust my own H not to run off with all the $$$ and then turn around and D me. I feel like I'm in a bad Lifetime Movie.

FWH has encouraged me to pursue a new job in a field that interests me. Today, I was supposed to do some important background work, via some meetings at city hall, to prepare for tonight's big meeting.

I get ready for the meeting, and walk out the door, saying, "I'm dropping DS5 off at summer camp, then going downtowm for my research." FWH says, "Oh, well I'm planning on going surfing, so I guess we'll have to leave DD9 home alone."

First, let me say FWH would have NEVER left either child alone for even a few minutes before. This is his attempt to pull the strings on me, so I can't make it to the meeting, and blow the interview. He HAS to go surfing right now? Is it an epic surf day? No. Is he even that much of a surfer? No--he's really not good at it at all. But here we are, on a Wednesday morning, when I have an important meeting scheduled, and he decides he HAS to surf right now.

So I missed my meeting. Great start when you want a new job, huh? Guess what else? He hasn't even gone surfing yet...still diddling around the house an hour later. I COULD have gone to the meeting after all, but he decided to hold me captive here.

I'm really steaming mad, and just had to vent. Sorry.

Why miss your meeting? Why not go to the meeting, afterwards (or before) ask a friendly policemen standing around about what recourse there is if your H left DD9 home alone to go surfing? Let them know where you live, perhaps they could go to the house to check things out...

Yep, he WILL play passive-aggressive games with you until you stop playing...he got what HE wanted in this situation.

Why couldn't you take DD9 with you?


(BTW, check out Recovery, there is a thread there with some VERY good advice by some VERY experienced people who have been dealing with this for awhile...)

IMA,

Let me tell you I have a thread going about Plan B and staying in the same home.

Someone told me no way it can really work. Someone else suggested a 180 and gave me a list of things to try.

For the last week I have been in 180 mode because nothing was working so why the heck not try it.

My FWW is PA as well. I read the thread and did some research on my own. Links in that thread as well.

My FWW is actually responding to the 180 better then anything up until this point.

I have had to withdraw from her and I told her I am trying to decide if I even want this M anymore. I told her I love her very much but I don't know if I want this anymore.

Last night we had a conversation about something that has affected our M in a negative way. Or actually she was telling me about the problem without making the corolation(sp) about how it affected our M. I let her talk yesterday for about an hour about it which brought the total up to about 11 hours she has talked about it this week. When I made the corolation she said "thanks for kicking me when I am already down, I knew you were going to do that" I said I am sorry for sharing my feelings about it. I guess I should have just listened to your feelings and not expressed mine. Again I am sorry. I walked out of the room. She came out and actually apologized. This morning she apologized again. Still doesn't want to talk about it but at least she apololgized.

She knows I am serious because I have not asked her to fill one of my most important needs.

Maybe the 180 will work for you too.