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Not entirely true...
Recent statistics indicate that men more often than not are awarded custody in "contested" cases.
Why? Because of your assumption ("more than likely the mom......"). Men typically don't prosecute and contest cases they can't or don't have a good chance of winning, therefore the statistics. If MM has done his job, like I think he has, Mrs MM could be in trouble today. Not only is a WS committing adultery but in the midst of committing adultery they become selfish, self centered, abandon important things like the children emotionally and physically, they make the OP the object of their full attention, they become obsessed and say and do things that make them look unstable (which they are), they lie, lie, lie, they take on new unsavory habits and friends, ...
My point is that no one simply committs adultery and everyting else in their life is just like it has always been. People who become WS's have to become someone new, reinvent themselves and this new person and their characteristics are not normally suited to be the custodial parent to minor children.
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By the way barking..........his state recognizes adultery, whereas states like mine - Ohio - do not.
He won custody of those children before when his wife was having her *A*, and she ended up coming back and trying to work it out.
I don't know what has transpired to make her get back in contact with OM, and chuck her marriage, and hurt her children all over again, but I would hope the judge would weigh these things very carefully.
Mortarman has been a pillar of the MB:GQII community, and I'm sure he's a pillar of his own community. He is a clear headed and good man, and he deserves custody of those children.
I hope that the court sees it that way too.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Not entirely true...
Recent statistics indicate that men more often than not are awarded custody in "contested" cases.
Why? Because of your assumption ("more than likely the mom......"). Men typically don't prosecute and contest cases they can't or don't have a good chance of winning, therefore the statistics. If MM has done his job, like I think he has, Mrs MM could be in trouble today. Not only is a WS committing adultery but in the midst of committing adultery they become selfish, self centered, abandon important things like the children emotionally and physically, they make the OP the object of their full attention, they become obsessed and say and do things that make them look unstable (which they are), they lie, lie, lie, they take on new unsavory habits and friends, ...
My point is that no one simply committs adultery and everyting else in their life is just like it has always been. People who become WS's have to become someone new, reinvent themselves and this new person and their characteristics are not normally suited to be the custodial parent to minor children. Yep. All true but it's difficult to predict if you will get a judge that sees it that way. The real problem is when you go through a complete custody evaluation. That is where the potential damage to the kids is greatest as the fight can take it's toll the longer it takes. I guess we will see later today after MM has his day in court.
There is a clock on the wall ticking. I don't know where it is or what time it is but she's waiting for something. Actually, I think I found the clock. I can't see it clearly enough to read it though....
BH (Me) 46
WW 46
Married 15 years
A began - 6/05
DDay - 7/30/05
Exposure - 8/1/05
D papers served 8/10/05
A continues....
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By the way barking..........his state recognizes adultery, whereas states like mine - Ohio - do not.
He won custody of those children before when his wife was having her *A*, and she ended up coming back and trying to work it out.
I don't know what has transpired to make her get back in contact with OM, and chuck her marriage, and hurt her children all over again, but I would hope the judge would weigh these things very carefully.
Mortarman has been a pillar of the MB:GQII community, and I'm sure he's a pillar of his own community. He is a clear headed and good man, and he deserves custody of those children.
I hope that the court sees it that way too.
God Bless,
-Caren I'm with you and MM all the way here! I only want to point out the possibility of a harsh reality if the Judge doesn't see it this way.
There is a clock on the wall ticking. I don't know where it is or what time it is but she's waiting for something. Actually, I think I found the clock. I can't see it clearly enough to read it though....
BH (Me) 46
WW 46
Married 15 years
A began - 6/05
DDay - 7/30/05
Exposure - 8/1/05
D papers served 8/10/05
A continues....
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Prayers for you today, and for your children. Also I will hold up the judge in prayer, that justice will reign.
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Ditto what Believer said. Prayers for you and yours MM.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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I read through a lot of this, MM, and you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. One bit of advice that my attorney gave me jibed with what a whole lot of people around here told me at the same time. "If it feels good, DON'T DO IT." Seems apropose to me. Would it feel good to go for broke and "win"? Very possible that it would. Don't go with stuff that'll feed your ego. You've got more important things to consider. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Sunny Day, Sweeping The Clouds Away...
Just J --
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Just got off the phone with MM.
He is out enjoying lunch with his mother and is quite elated or I should say relieved with the outcome this morning/afternoon. He will be here later with the full update and to correct/add any details I left off:
Shared Custody:
MM- gets the kids Thursday evening through Monday evening every week (4 full days + the benefit of weekends and 3 day weekends during the school year)
Mrs.MM - Monday evening through Thursday evening every week (3 full days...albeit all school days)
NO cohabitation or overnight guests other than blood relatives until the divorce is final (so OM can't move in).
Divorce won't finalize for about 11 more months unless MM wants to accelerate it based upon adultery.
MM pays $450 back support and only $300 a month continuing support.
All in all...a victory that MM feels very blessed to have been granted.
My thoughts and prayers remain with the Mortarmans family.
Thank God,
Mr. Wondering
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Whew! Please give MM our regards and a support hug.... Awhhhh heck MM.....here's a big {{{{ALOHA 2 U!}}}} <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It is a hard battle but you done good! Will the WS ever see the light of day? Not sure but we know u do! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> take care, L.
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(((((MM)))))
Hugs, brother.
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Thank you Mr. W for the update on MM court dealings. I just clicked on hoping for good news on this --
And there you were !!
Thank you Lord for continuing to look down on one of our favorites and, I know, one of Your's !!!
Blessings to all, carnation
Me - BS 55
WH/FWH 50
OW 30
Much evidence says that my H was/is
deeply involved in a very long term PA
Prolly will never know much more than that
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Just got off the phone with MM.
He is out enjoying lunch with his mother and is quite elated or I should say relieved with the outcome this morning/afternoon. He will be here later with the full update and to correct/add any details I left off:
Shared Custody:
MM- gets the kids Thursday evening through Monday evening every week (4 full days + the benefit of weekends and 3 day weekends during the school year)
Mrs.MM - Monday evening through Thursday evening every week (3 full days...albeit all school days)
NO cohabitation or overnight guests other than blood relatives until the divorce is final (so OM can't move in).
Divorce won't finalize for about 11 more months unless MM wants to accelerate it based upon adultery.
MM pays $450 back support and only $300 a month continuing support.
All in all...a victory that MM feels very blessed to have been granted.
My thoughts and prayers remain with the Mortarmans family.
Thank God,
Mr. Wondering [color:"red"] WHOOPIE********* this is really great news! Thank you God [/color]
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Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!
I will have up shortly the nuts and bolts of it. And why this deal, while siding fairly with both sides...might be a nightmare for my wife.
One which she alone created!!
But before I get up the particulars, I want to say thank you to my Lord Jesus. He stood by me. I felt Him there. I never waivered! even with some of the crap they pulled (you will hear shortly). As we walked back in for the verdict, I had my head down praying: "Your will...Your will...Your will." My wife has now butted heads with God and my attorney three times. She has lost all three!
Secondly, thank you all for the great support. And even more so...the prayers!! They were felt! The hedge put up around me last night was incredible. I have never slept that deeply. And it is because of you...because of you interceding. The Lord heard you!
I tell you, I looked at their side and saw...nothing. It was like just her attorney and her. But over on my side of the room, I had this presence...vision if you will...of three "soldiers" standing behind me. Almost the way the secret service stands behind the President. I could feel them there. I could in a way, visualize them there.
It was as if the Lord had dispatched angels to be there for me. I have no doubt that He did. But, to allow me to "see" them, meant the world to me. Knowing they were there, knowing what I had on that side of the room...I stood firm. You will hear shortly bout shannigans they tried to pull before, to cower me and my attorney. But those angels were there. And the Lord said to me "No deal."
So, I stood. If the Lord is with me, if He dispatched THREE angels to stand over me...who on this earth could possibly be against me! I felt like I could conquer the world today! I have never...I mean NEVER felt that kind of power before!
Folks...thank you!!! My saga is coming to an end. And while my marriage is also, I have fought the good fight. I can stand before my children and say their Old Man did everythign he could! I didnt get everything, as John Wondering stated above. But I got the important things...my children (I will outline the particulars shortly).
So, I move forward now. Time to lick my wounds. Get back in shape. Clear up the rest of those finances. Get my new home for me and the kids. And move forward with them.
I will have more time now to serve the Lord. Not caught in military deployments or this mess with my wife the last 4 years, I am now able to stand. To serve Him wherever He asks me to go.
All credit goes to Him. I am but a soldier.
More later!!
Today...I will no longer sign out with "In His arms." From this moment forward, I stand beside Him. And we will walk together from here.
So, my sign off is such:
Standing Always in His Presence.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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MM, I am so happy for you. You can now look forward to beginning a new life.
I too am looking forward to some closure to my situation as I'm not going to lay down anymore. Time to move forward so I can resume my life......
There is a clock on the wall ticking. I don't know where it is or what time it is but she's waiting for something. Actually, I think I found the clock. I can't see it clearly enough to read it though....
BH (Me) 46
WW 46
Married 15 years
A began - 6/05
DDay - 7/30/05
Exposure - 8/1/05
D papers served 8/10/05
A continues....
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I am grinning like a fool <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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One more quick thank you.....
To the Old Dominion....the Capital of the South....the Great Commonwealth of Virginia. Which has enough sense to have fault laws in divorce cases and also have enough sense to see past the X chromosome and see that a Y can be a great parent also and elect judges that seek justice.
Sic Semper Tyrannus
Thus Always to Tyrants
Standing Always in His Presence
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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MM,
This is great and also a great testimony to Gods power and will. You have been truly blessed!
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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{{{{{{{{{MM}}}}}}}}}}}}} Congrats!!!! WAY TO GOOOOOOO!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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(((((((((((((((((MORTAR))))))))))))))))))))))
I am so happy!!!!!! You are such a wonderful man, and the Lord will always be by your side.
I am anxious to hear the stuff that your wife and her attorney tried to pull!!
PRAISE THE LORD,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Pep: I am grinning like a fool And I'm crying like a fool! (I'm such a sap) Happy tears for you and your kids MM! Your angels gave me goosebumps, too! Peace, --SC
"I require more from my spouse than behaving well in order to avoid pain." (guess who)
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