MM,
I am so happy that things went so well for you!

And the angels...yes, God does send them to help us. He sent them to help my dad through the last few days of his life. Daddy saw them, and after that, he had very little pain and died peacefully 4 days later, which is unusual for someone with emphysema.

Now, we need to keep praying for a home for you and the kids! I'm sure there must be one coming up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh no. MM hasn't posted yet.....hope he didn't have 14. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

MM....where r u?!?!?!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

MM is probably taking a well deserved rest after the events of yesterday.

we love ya dude

la la la

ROFLMAO about Pep's new sigline...

LA

Wow Mortar, how many beers did you have?!?!? LOL

Front and Center Soldier.............we need the rest of the story <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

-Caren

It's coming folks. Justpeachy had it right. I wanted to post what happened, but I was exhausted! It has taken me two days of R&R to get back up and feel normal again.

So, working on the update now. It will be kinda long, as I know many may want to hear and need to hear how things went.

Anyway...patience. I will deliver.

Standing Always in His Presence

write it in installments !!!

The ladies are always so impatient!!

Standing in His Presence

HURRY UP, DANG IT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Okay...in deference to Pep & ML...here is the first installment. I'll let you know once I have it all up here (may take a few posts). Let me start with the order from the Judge (Mr. W had it pretty well summed up):


I will start in next with what happened. And what is happening now (because you wont believe what my wife did at the first pick-up yesterday!!!). But a short summary of the vital statistics of this order:

1. I pay $301 to her a month...I have to pay her $450 this week for the last two months.
2. I have the kids 4 days a week, including almost every weekend. She has the kids in the middle of the week, for a totla of 3 days a week.
3. Depending on which days she decides are her vacation week (which might change these numbers by one or two days), the total number of days with the kids over the next year is: Father 205...Mother 160.

More soon!

Standing in His Presence

Next Installment: Pre-trial

I walked in to my attorney's office at 8:30am Wednesday morning. We started going over some figures, making sure all of the numbers added up on salary, etc. While we were doing so, my wife's attorney comes in. So, her attorney (Mark) and my attorney (Jon) go into a conference room. Fifteen minutes later, Mark leaves and Jon comes in. Says that the deal they were offering on Monday is off the table now.

He said when the kids got home on Tuesday, that my oldest son told my wife that I said:

"If your mom gets custody, you will probably miss baseball games. So, you will be kicked off the team>"
And...
"Sometimes, when mothers get custody, the fathers come back and kill the mothers and the children."

All of you shocked? I was POed!!!!! What in the world were they talking about? There was nothing that ever escaped my mouth concernign that last one. And the first one, the only thing I have ever pointed out to my oldest is the rules published by the high school coach on missing games/practices. And that on hsi travel baseball team, that if he misses, he may be benched if someoen is there and beats him out.

That statement about killing the kids, etc stiffened my back. Where Mark might have gotten some type of negotiation later on before court...after this, I was done! We were going before the judge!

So, I finished up with my attorney and we headed across the street to the court. Then, the first bad news. We werent getting the same judge. He didnt come in. So, we would be picked up by one of the other judges. I am praying at this time "Lord, what's up? Why the change here?"

So, we have to wait awhile. We are in a long hallway. My wife is a few seats down with her attorney. And she also brought my oldest son. As soon as I got there, he got up and came over to sit with me. And spent most of our waiting time with me (although he played the political route and moved back over with his mom a few times).

Anyway, Jon and Mark talk again. Mark is now saying the deal is back on. They are offering: me to have Friday night, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday morning...and I pay $565. At the same time, Mark tells Jon he will put my son on the stand, as well as bring in testimony from some friends of mine that had fallen away in the last month due to a disagreemnt over baseball. About this time, my MIL arrives with my youngest. She had left my 12yo girl back at their house.

Jon takes me in the main hallway, tells me the deal and asks me with a smile "So, what do you wanna do?" I told him: "Jon, I didnt give everything up, go thru this whole ordeal, have her leave and come back three times and have my kids go thru this He!! for me to go spineless now. No deal! As a matter of fact, if it looks like we have to deal...offer them this: me 4 days, her 3 days. I'll pay minimal child support. But for now, forget it! That crap about my son has ticked me off!"

So, he tells Mark "no deal" and about that time, they call us in...so there were no deals made or accepted after that. Notice the deal I said, because it is almost exactly what happened!!

Next up...inside the courtroom.

Standing in His Presence

*ahem*

Mortar-

Waiting for next installment..........you like making us wait don't you??? LOL

We want the details!!!

God Bless,

-Caren

Well if custody started this week, MM is probably with his kids until Monday. I know that's where I'd be. MB...? Kids...? MB...? Kids...? Yep! Kids!

Blessings to you and the kids MM.

Aloha.

S&C

Yes, MM I'm waiting on the next installment, also. Glad to see you posted and are doing great.

CarenMc<------------------------Impatient woman........you love to make us wait don't you??!?!? LOL

God Bless You Hon,

-Caren

I doubt you remember me mortarman, but I remember you.
I posted here 2 years ago under the name lostnlonelygirl. Your replies really helped me during times of great stress. I am forever grateful for the support you gave me. I do wish your situation would have tuned out better. I wanted to tell you, even though I know it does not help your situation, but my husband and I have been in recovery almost 2 years, and are doing well living overseas. Thank you so much! You will never know how much you helped my husband and I! God Bless you!

Thank you! I am glad to hear that you guys have made it! Stay in touch...and stay close to the Lord.

Standing in His Presence

Okay…finally had time to get back to this. The kids had me going all weekend long. My wife picks them up at 3pm today, so I will get a breather for the next three days. Be able to catch up on some things that have not gotten done over all of this mess. Anyway, here is the court update:


We went into the courtroom and sat down. I was on the left side, and Mrs. Mortarman on the right. The judge was already in there, and began to ask for documents, etc from our attorneys. Then both attorneys gave their opening remarks. Mark goes ahead and asks for the very same deal they offered me in the hall earlier. My attorney states that we are going for full custody.

Once that was done, the judge asked my wife’s attorney (Mark) to call his first witness…which was my wife.

She got on the stand, which was right in front of my table, and Mark began asking all sorts of basic questions. Like her name, address (which she messed up), etc. Then he began in on my wife’s back injury from her car accident a year ago. He spent a lot of time on that one. It appears that he was trying to play the “poor wifey” card with the judge. That she might not be able to work, or work as much because of her back.

He then went on to ask my wife about what bills she paid, how much she made, etc. Again, Mark was trying to say that I wasn’t providing anything towards the family financially and that my wife was doing all of the heavy lifting. This is all interesting, as you will see in a minute. Watch what happens once my attorney is able to introduce the facts of the situation…and how Mark and my wife react.

Anyway, almost nothing in their questioning had to do with the kids, except what she has bought them (clothes, etc). Nothing about her involvement in their education, activities, etc. My attorney picked up on that in a hurry!

When he went to cross examine my wife, he immediately zeroed in on her financial situation. He began going thru all of the costs, etc. That is when the judge chimed in, asking my wife:


Between the Porky Pig response (you know the one…”aabbbaadaaa abbaaadda”), she had no response. He had busted her again on being financially irresponsible…and it was telling that the judge was the one that chimed in.

My mother’s house, where we are staying right now as I look for housing in the school district, had been vilified by my wife in their questioning…as unfit for the kids to live at (not sure why). But my attorney (Jon) fired back with “Isnt it true, Mrs. MM, that you lived in that house twice during the marriage (we were there the first 6 months of our marriage…and one other time for 2 days as we waited on a new home to be ready)? So, why was it suitable then, and not now?” Again, Porky would have been jealous at how good she was at babbling.

He went on to ask her about the financial situation. He asked her:


My wife came unhinged at that!! She looked straight at me and screamed:


In the matter of 5 minutes, my attorney had her completely off balanced. The judge immediately went off on my wife:


Her attorney came over and spoke with her. And we continued. My attorney left that issue for the moment, as he would come back to it when he had me on the stand. He finished up with my wife by asking her if she was still in contact with the OM. Mark objected and the judge sustained, stating that for now…unless adultery since we moved back together can be proven, that he would leave that for the divorce hearing. Right now we were just doing custody.

So, my attorney finished with her by asking her about her job. He asked her what she did. She replied that she was a registered nurse and served in the trauma unit. He then asked what she did there. She had stated earlier that she had been moved to scheduler and light duty because of her back (this is where my attorney is awesome…he is great at picking up on things and cross-examining witnesses). So, Jon asks her “Do you make your own schedule?” She replies that she does. My attorney then asks her why she is asking for custody, but giving Friday nights, Sat and Sun, to me. She states that it is because she works those days. He then asks her “When was the last time that you worked Friday, Saturday and Sunday.” She says she doesn’t recall. “Last weekend?” She says “no.” “The weekend before?” “No.” “How about the weekend before that?” “No.”

My attorney had a copy of her schedule and asked her “Isnt it true that you haven’t worked a Friday, Saturday and Sunday yet this year?” She Porky Pigged that one with some lame “I’m not sure.”

So, my attorney closed the deal on her with asking her:


The reason for that last questioning had to do with two things. First, on the issue of her being with the kids on the weekends. Both of us had shown calendars that showed me with the kids exclusively almost every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. By her showing that she could make her schedule, that she hadn’t worked every weekend in its entirety…but was still not with the kids at their functions…it showed that she was more interested in other things!

The second was to show that she wasn’t making $5400 for child support purposes, but instead $10,000 a month. Which would put her income ahead of mine. In Virginia, child support is a formula, based on who has custody and the amounts each parent earns. So, by showing her making more money, it would change the calculations.

So, my wife stepped down. Mark calls me next to the stand. As I head up there, the judge asks both attorneys, for the sake of time, that I stay up there for my attorney’s questioning. They agreed.

Mark asks me some simple questions. And then goes straight into the bills. “Mr. Mortarman, what bills do you pay in the household?” I stated that I have the entire list of every dime for the last 7 months right there next to my attorney. Mark wont let me get it. He just keeps asking me “well, state to me what bills you have been paying.” I again state that I cannot due so intelligently without my notes. He persists…but I do not back down.

Mark continues this tack until the judge asks me: “Mr. Mortarman, I believe that Mr. Sandground is trying to get the specifics of the financial situation. Can you recollect any of what he is trying to ask?” I tell the judge that I can on some, but would be better served if I could see my notes from my Microsoft Money (which outlined every dime spent). The judge says that I can have it, and my attorney brings it to me.

Now, remember the outburst by my wife? Well, here was my response to that. Mark asks me:


So, my wife’s outburst went for naught. I had provable records showing my support. Her ascertain, and Marks ascertain, that I had done nothing towards household bills had been proven false.

Mark gave up shortly thereafter, and my attorney came up to question me. He asked me questions about my involvement with the kids. Who does their homework with them? Who is at all of their events? Who takes them to church? All of the answers were “me.”

He asked me about the finances. I said I was trying to take care of the past mess we had accrued, mostly due to a flood, and to me not being able to tell Mrs. MM “no.” I had not gotten away from our bills in my name by declaring bankruptcy like my wife.

He then asked the big question. “Mortarman…why do you believe that you should have custody of these children?” And I went on a usual Mortarman roll:


And I left the stand. The judge then asked us to leave, as he went to make his decision.

Next up…the decision…the reaction…and the last few days under the new paradigm.

Standing in His Presence