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Respectful,
I like your ideas...unfortunately RESPECT is probably one of the biggest ENs I have, and it's the one Toolman can never honor. His venom towards me is so sincere, he does not think I deserve ANY respect from him.
He's also disrespectful to others, so I'm not the only one to get this treatment.
I guess I'll call the Harley's just to get one more set of opinions. Thanks.
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It's just never-ending. Tool keeps saying we're moving too fast toward the D. That's his opinion. I want out, and I want out now. I do NOT want to be married to tool anymore. I guess he's gonna try to stall the process, but I'm going to have to push it along. It would be so much cheaper and so much better for the kids if we could present a unified front, but I guess he's gonna play the "daddy doesn't want the D, mommy does" card.
Then I'll play the "daddies who don't want divorce don't have 20 year old girlfriends" card.
Then the kids are screwed for life, just because tool wanted to be a cake eater, and thought he could bully me into staying in the most F-ed up, disfunctional relationship I've ever seen.
Well, I sent an email to the Harley's this afternoon requesting an appointment. In my eagerness, I was hoping they could talk tomorrow, but I guess that was too much to ask--haven't heard back yet. Don't know how long it takes to get in, so I'll keep you posted.
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Well, I've scheduled an appointment with Steve Harley for Monday afternoon. I don't know what I hope to get from it, but at least a fresh set of eyes on the situation will help.
They had me fill out a "love bank inventory" and I'm afraid mine will show a record low. I only had one answer that wasn't pegged at the bottom. I gave WH props for his physical image, but only a minus-one. Everything else was minus-three. Ouch. No wonder I have to get out!!!
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I would respectfully disagree.
She is divorcing him, not because he HAD an affair, but because he HAS and affair, and HAS a lover, and is not willing to give them up in order to save his marriage.
There is nothing disrespectful about that; it is simply the truth.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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There is no need for anger or anguish if you simply accept that he is not going to change because you and the children are hurt. I would respectfully disagree with this as well. No need for anger or anguish? Just accept it and move on? SC will heal, and will move on with time, but every BS knows the struggle with the normal emotions of anger and anguish, that are the direct result of being betrayed, and not because of some inherent flaw in the BS.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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She doesn't have to convince anyone, but that does not mean she is wrong for stating, calmly of course, why she is doing what she is doing.
Arguing is pointless with anyone, but that should not stop her from exposing the truth of her life to anyone she chooses.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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If you have no fault divorce, you don't need to say anything about why you are seeking divorce. Simply tell him that the marriage isn't working out for you and you want out. What a load of cr*p! So she should just let her H walk all over her, boff the OW and then go off silently and D him? Nope. Exactly what is YOUR background?
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Ok, anyone see anything odd about the comments from respectful?
This person has a total of 4 posts on MB, and all of them are to me. Why?
Why pick the term "respect" when talking about how I talk about my WH? What do you know of the "respect" he's earned?
BTW, thanks Neak and FF for your responses. I'm so tired right now, I'm not able to fend off some of the attacks. I guess ~Respectful~ wants me to show ~respect~ to my H, right? Why? WIIFY, Respectful?
This seems very suspicious to me.
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SC, put Respect on ignore.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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I think that's what I've been doing for the last year, FF! Too bad it doesn't work so well in real life....
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Hey Tool,
Why don't you get some respect by EARNING it.
As my hubby's grandma used to say, "For being so smart, you sure are stupid."
SC, sorry that you're having to go through this. As I said, Tool's a master manipulator. The more you get out from under his control, the worse he'll get. I think it's funny he's demanding any respect at all, when he gives you none.
Hang in there. Life sucks sometimes. You'll be so much better after you are away from him. Like you said, the way others see you is completely different from him. I can't even imagine how much he's worn you down -- it's time you stopped letting him.
Take a hike, Tool. Go start your own thread.
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A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Well, Tool categorically denies having anything to do with any "respectful" comments on this thread. Hmmmm.
Well, what does "respect" have to say? Why this thread? Why try to tell Ima/stonecold to be respectful, and ignore other threads?
Anyway, I am happy that I have an appt with S. Harley on monday, and tool has agreed to sit in. Maybe we can make some progress.
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Anyway, I am happy that I have an appt with S. Harley on monday, and tool has agreed to sit in. Maybe we can make some progress. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Oh, he is going to participate too? That's even better!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I am a BS who tried to convince my H. Her leaving is not the same as her allowing him to talk all over her. R U a BS who tried to convince your H of what!?!?!?!? Please explain. Better yet, share your story and why your interest in SC has been almost 100%. Would you like us to help you create your own thread? L.
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