Not SENDME here but yes your credit cards will show up. You may want to splurge for a credit report from all three major credit reporting bureaus (look them up on the internet).

We know too well what you are going through. It is hard but you must remain strong, pay attention, focus and have and execute a plan.

You mentioned that she will file for D once you tell her you are not paying. Well isn't that just like a WW/WH. When they don't get their way they take their ball and go home. Do you want to be near or M to a person who is in this state of mind? NO!! Until and if your wife ever shows her head again then you can worry about being a good husband. Right now you are dealing with the WAYWARD alien, know this.

I should be getting my credit report today, a friend of mine in the banking business is running it for me. All but one of the card are canceled.

My WW called late last night to see how I'm doing and to tell me she thinks she's going to miss not seeing the kids the entire week next week. I'm going to have the kids for the entire week for the first time next week. I told her calmly that this is what she wanted and we both have to live with not be able to see the kids every other week.

Then she asked if I'm going to pay half of her card and I told her that I been paying it for the longest time and now is time for her to pitch in. I told her that I'll not going to help her financially; she got really pissed and threaten to file for DV for principle (imagine that). I told her I don't want to fight and hang up on her. Let's wait and see if she file, but I'm sure she will.

It sounds like you need a very dark Plan B.....you need to get away from her madness...and accept the fact that she will file for Dv...

Know what I say? So what.....

Listen...read my story....never say never....

Like I said before...It's amazing how their true selves come out when they don't get their way. Let her file. If this woman is going to file over that then she was going to file anyway. Make her do all the work.

mike,

Remember this is the same WW that was going to work on your M (NOT) until marchI think it was then make the decision whether to stay or file. I think you may have just moved up the date a little. But at least you know what is in store for you instead of being blindsided by it. Just get prepared to do battle.

Send, hope and JKG,

Thanks for all of your supports and comments.

This is how I figure it; she is going to threaten DV anytime things don’t go her way so why not just let her do it now. I know that she’ll be asking me to pay when the bills arrive each and every month so I either save some $$ now or else just keep my wallet wide open for the duration. I will certainly be ready for the paper when served, but I’ll be crushed nevertheless. This is just so sad.

I got my credit report and it is fine, no crazy charges. I do have more open credit cards than I thought so I have a lot of work to do and get them closed.

Latest:

I gave WW my Plan B letter yesterday. She has been sending email asking for $$ to pay her bill but I just ignored them. She told our DD that she'll be showing up at her basketball game tomorrow but I asked her not to go to the game since this is my week and I want NC with her but she refused. I threaten to have pictures of her and her boy toy to distribute to the other parents if she shows up.

Is the $$ situation and how I’m handling the NC LB and further pushing her away from me? She is furious to say the least.

Just ignore her. No threat, no contact at all. Let her spew her venom at the OM. If she runs into you, ignore her. Don't talk to her, don't look her in the eye, just walk out the door without acknowledging her presence. Let your friends at the game know of your intentions. Right now she is dead to you.

Jim,

Are you saying that I should not distribute the pictures of the cheating couple if she shows up? I did threaten her with this.

One more thing, I'm thinking about distribute the picture of the two of them and title it "Cheating Couple" at the gym where they met; he works there as her personal trainer. I never expose them there because she never went back to the gym after D-Day but will be going there now that we are separated.

What do you think?

Exposure is something you do in Plan A. Plan B is completely wiping the WS out of your life. You don't even want to think about her. No more spying, no more talking about her. You couldn't care less about her unless she is agreeing to your Plan B letter conditions for reconciliation. You shouldn't have even talked to her and threatened her with that. Go dark, VERY DARK!

MikeTC,

I'm very disturbed by the picture thing at a kid's event. This is definitely wrong. Don't do things of that sort around your children. Leave your fighting with your W private. It is more appropriate to spread those pics at the gym he works.

When it comes to events for your kids, you should BOTH participate and do so in peace for the time period the event lasts. Doing otherwise will mess up your kids. Believe me.

I wouldn't expose at his work since I'm in Plan B. I want to go very Dark but if she start showing up at these events, it wouldn't work. Between the two kids, there must be 4 to 6 events per week. How do others handle that in Dark Plan B?

Miketc,
You need to support your children. Do not be vindictive around the kids. Do not argue around the kids. Do not talk bad about your WW or OM around your kids. Do not discuss your problems around the kids.
DO tell them that you love them. DO spend time with them. DO tell them that you will be there for them. DO show up at all the events that they are in. DO HUG them as much as you can. DO make there favorite dinners. DO smile always around the kids. DO not say no to them, if they ask you to do something DO IT.

Plan B is a hard thing to do. You want to strike back but do not. Plan B is to let her find out for herself if she wants you or the OM. If the OM can provide all the emotional needs of hers. You have been providing some EN and OM has been supplying some. Plan B test to see if the OM will supply those other needs. Plan B makes the WW see if the OM is really it or a fantasy. WW need to see the OM in dirty underwear, bad breathe, farting, bad habits. Is that what the WW wants?

Go to the 4 to 6 events a week but sit on the other side of the room. Do not look at her or talk to her. Call the kids over and talk to them. If you have to you can go to the kids if they are with her but do not acknowledge her. You need to show the kids that you are strong and will be there for them. You need to show the WW that you no longer need her and do not react to her. COLD but strong.

Good luck think smart and act smart and treat you children good

Actually, exposure is recommended in Plan B also to maintain the spotlight on their sleazy affair. I remember SH telling me once to hold off on exposure until I go into Plan B. As long a you want to continue to fight for your M then continue to expose to those that would have an influence on the A. If scumbag OM is her personal trainer then I would expose at their gym since I'm sure this is a code of conduct issue for OM.

The good thing about exposing in Plan B is that she will not have you to unleash her venom on.

I don't think you can keep her from showing up to the kids functions. In that case you go as if she does not exist...do not acknowledge her...just focus on your children.

And stop the threats and ultimatums...they NEVER work and will backfire when you don't follow through.

HTW

With a heavy hand, I conviced WW not to attend the kid's fuctions when they're with me. I talked with my DD9 about it and told her that I love her and her brother7 and that that I'll always be there for them both. She's sad about the situation but she's showing me how strong she is and be ok with it. I'm so proud of her.

I'll stop with the threats and ultimatums; I'll no longer requested that WW not showing up at the kids fuctions but I'll not be inviting her either.

I feel more at peace with myself and my current situation now that I'm in Plan B. I have the kids this week and so far it has been great. Yesterday I went shopping with the two of them for my son's birthday present which is this Friday. I invited my family (my parents, three sisters and their family) for a sleep over. My wife have never invited them for a sleep over during our M so this is new to us all. It will be fun for all the kids (total 5) and they are all excited about it.

Stay strong Mike

I had a good weekend. It was my DS7’s Birthday and I had my family over (15 people; seven people and a dog slept over) for two days of celebration. The B-party was Friday night and the kids (five total, age 5 to 10) stay up late playing. Saturday, the entire family went and watches both my children and my nephew’s basketball games. Three games in all; it was exhausting but fun nevertheless. I cooked a wonderful dinner for my family afterward; it turns out great and my mother couldn’t believe that I could cook such an impressive meal. She was so proud.

WW left our house 3 weeks ago and I’m in Plan B for about two weeks. This Sunday, when WW comes to pick-up the kids for her custody week, WW asked to talk to me for a few minutes (I stay in the family room and didn’t greet her at the door). I told her I don’t want to talk and she should send me an email instead. She disregards my request and come into the family room and told me she misses me and needs to talk. I told her I don’t want a face to face but will take her call that night.

During the call I mostly listen, she told me that she misses me; she misses the kids when she doesn’t have them, our home and married life. She asked me to give her time to work out her feeling for me and wait for her if I could. She said the only way she could recommit to our marriage is be able to love me again; unfortunately she does not have the love for me right now. She said she is not dating or sleeping with the OP but they are talking. They want to remain “friends” and they both agreed that she should work her way back to our marriage; for us and for the children. Coming back to me is her ultimate goal but she need time to be able to fall in love again. She even talks about us dating next month or two.

I told her there will not be any us; no dating, talking or otherwise if the OP is in the picture. I told her she needs to figure what she wants but do not involve me at this time. I’m going to stay in my dark Plan B and not talking to her until she complies with the Plan B letter.

I know that WW is fog talking but still dumfounded by her nevertheless. I do believe she is sincere about she needs to be in love with me before she could recommit to our marriage. Please comment and give me some insight of WW’s thinking.

The next time she wants to "talk" to you, ask her if she has ended all contact with OM and is ready to commit to the marriage. If the answer is "no," politely end the call and ask her to contact you only when that happens.

Breaking no contact to have these discussions ruins your credibility in Plan B, so they should be avoided at all costs. No contact means no contact, no emails, no phone calls, no nothing.

When Plan B starts to get uncomfortable, a WS will do exactly what yours did. She will ask for a "discussion" to ensure herself that you will wait on the sidelines while she has her affair. Assuring her of this allows her to stay out there and have her affair for another day.


She won't be "in love" as long as she is having an affair. Once the affair ends, her thoughts will probably turn back to you.

To avoid her coming in your house at will like this, I would suggest changing the locks and sending the kids out when she arrives. She should not be coming in the house at all. She has left your family and should no longer have the run of your house. It is very disrespectful of her to refuse to respect your request for no contact.

resend the NC letter. Nothing else.