forgiven and forgotten. Take a deep breath and find something to make you smile... even if it is just for a few hours.

Thank you mkeverydaycnt...means alot to me.....
Think I'll go see my horses while he hunts

You can always count on your animals to make you feel love. I know I love my dogs very much. Reading your posts I have to ask the question of why do you love your husband at all? He seems very cruel and has not taken any interest in your marriage whatsoever. He sounds quite manipulative. I know that this a marriage board but what do you really get out of this marriagef? It sounds to me like you have settled for a man that makes your life miserable. Surely you deserve better than this. Am I wrong? I hope you are feeling better.

Yes...I hear what you are saying and have felt it as well. Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. I look back on how quickly the years have gone by and how much better they could have been.
My life is fairly basic, work full time, two dogs, two horses, two teens. Our son just joine the Army and our daughter is a Senior this year. Other than ride horses, I love to lift weights....
Guess I'd really like him to share some of my interests with me sometimes. I bike with the dogs every other day when the weather is good. I'd love for him to join me. Is that too much to ask? Does it sound stupid? I used to snowmobile and ride the Harley with him. But both of us going on trips wasn't good...because somebody needed to be here with the kids. {i don't have alot of family here in the positive to have stayed with them.}
Hopefully, we can get thru this....
Oh...I didn't know if you read about the bodybuilding comp? I had been lifting for awhile and basically inspired him to lift. I trained seriously from a November to March and then stepped on stage. I've put fitness on hold....as there is only so much I can do ....right now....gotta' concetrate on the marriage. He's actually at a bar right now...he's been there for 3 hours. I don't expect him to be with me all the time.......we really need better communication for starters.
I put up the Christmas tree today.....

Well, today is the 17th....my H was at the bar again last night. Didn't let me know he was going, doesn't feel he needs to, feels it's his right. {he has stated this}

He didn't bring up anything bad...but his affection towards me has come to a HALT.

Seems like we couldn't get enough of each other thru this....and now.....I feel he's pulling away...a little. Try not to second-guess myself....HAVE TO REMAIN POSITIVE... and he will see*, feel* and know* my desire is real.

I still don't think there is going to be much progress until he wants to help make the marriage work. It doesn't look like he is helping much right now.

It's hard to love someone who thinks they have the right to do whatever they want in marriage. When you marry, you give up that right for the good of the union. Or you should anyway.

Have you read Dr Harleys's book "Love busters, Habits that destroy romantic love"?

It discusses independent behavior, and how it affects the marriage. I highly recommend reading it, it was one of the things that helped my W and I to have a much better marriage.

SS

Thanks Still Seeking....it's hopefully in the Mail. I ordered CD's of another book...can't remember right now which one...maybe it's HNHN.

...I'm also waiting for a letter from our son in Bootcamp.

Thought I'd get one before we leave on our trip....

Our 2nd son lived in Guatemala for a couple of years, and he didn't write nearly often enough.

When do you actually leave?

Are you ready for spending that kind of time with him?

Do chickens really eat bugs?

Sorry, I'm just full of questions today. I'll shut up now.

SS

Yes, if Chickens eat bugs.....what are chicken breasts made of??

What was your son doing in Guatemala? Service?

We leave Monday...come back next Tuesday....yikes. I think I'll be finding the internet and touching base with you all for advice.

Not packed yet.....we are supposed to go tan together, it's 7:05 and he hasn't called me yet....

You know spending THAT MUCH time with him is just out of OUR....routine. That's the BIG part that makes me nervous. We've been to this place in Mexico many times, and many times I've done alot of things by myself. But I thinking and hoping this time will be different. Even to bringing a book to read out-loud to him. We are planning on going to the gym together, and renting some bikes, having a few drinks, lay out on the beach. He even said, "We should try to stay up late....and go to a club dancing".....I about fell over when he said that, since I'm 6 1/2 years older than him and I'm the one who likes to dance. {So I know that's a little/big step for him.}