You already know...no response...you said that yourself, but it is nice to get out what you would say if you were going to say something!!!

I would have to agree that this is her "push" back for mediation.

They always have to do something that they think puts them back in control...only she is not in control of you anymore...you are!

This trigger period should pass soon. It has been with you for a while and now should be coming to a close soon. The you will be on top of the world again. It's coming and I wanted to remind you of that!

IHC

“If you do use sippy cups with DD3 you might want to double check the covers before you use them. One you sent was still dirty with I'm chocolate milk. I'm guessing someone didn't take out the plastic valve and wash them separately.”

Here would be my email:

Dear Darling Wayward Wife,

Thank you for you concern regarding the care and maintenance of “Sippy Cups”. I can not describe the shame and humiliation I felt when you so lovingly pointed out the error in my neglect. To assure you that this will never happen again I have instituted the following measures:

1) Each sippy cup placed in a Tuttnauer model 2540MK steam autoclave ($ 4,994.00 ordered on your credit card) for the prescribed ten minute sterilization.
2) Each sippy cup will then swabbed for bacteria to be grown in a Parter Medical Products Model 3561 100mm Petri dishes.
3) Each Sippy Cup will be sealed and labeled with the corresponding Petri dish containing the bacteria sample.
4) After a ten day growth period the Petri dish growth medium will be inspected. Approved Sippy Cups will moved into the general use population of Sippy Cups.
5) Failed Sippy Cups will be returned to the Tuttnauer autoclave for re-sterilization.
6) Unacceptable bacterial growth will be forwarded to the University of Colorado Medical School for identification testing and bio-hazard disposal.

In addition I have contacted Richard Belanger who invented the “Sippy Cup” which he later licensed to Playtex for production. I bet you did not know that Mr. Belanger now serves as a design engineer at Adhesive Machinery, a company he helped form, and has been issued several patents related to glue guns. I also used your credit card to order one of Mr. Belanger newest glue gun designs. His take was as follows:

“Thoroughly clean the cup (especially the lid and plastic stopper) between uses. Liquid can easily become trapped in the nooks and crannies of a sippy cup and valve, leading to the growth of bacteria and mold. If you can't wash a sippy cup right away, try to at least give it a good rinse. If that's not possible, drain any remaining liquid and take it apart. Periodically check your lids and valves for damage or mold.”

When I told Mr. Belanger of my subtly more aggressive plan he replied, “Yeah, that should work too.”

Hopefully these steps will fully address your concern about the future care given the “Sippy Cups” under my authority. Thank you again for pointing out my woeful and hideous neglect.

Love and Kisses

Sdguy038

Awesome. I really needed that. Great stuff.

I'll save that one for Plan FU.

chrisner! ROFLMAO! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Freaking hilarious, chrisner!

SD, She wants you to react to her sooooooo badly.

dark dark dark

Sharing a phone plan means nothin!

~ Marsh

Two quick things:

First...ROFLMAO!! Chrisner! You crack me up! I love your response!

Second, FYI, triggers are what they are--they are YOU having a post-traumatic memory. Just so you know, I am four years past my D being final, and my exH triggered me today!! (He IM'ed me to say he was taking his latest conquest to one of my favorite lodges--and I got mad). The point though is to a) not respond to them, and the b) take care of yourself. Okay--you're triggery. What can you do that you enjoy a lot that is very sensory and that keeps you in the present? I like to take bubble baths--or buy a new perfume--or get myself a little chocolate treat. I'll buy myself that CD I've been thinking of buying--or try a new wine. I might even just grab a goofy Disney movie and watch "Beauty and the Beast" with my 17yo and 11yo girls!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> The point is, to do something that involves your senses--something that you LIKE that can really root you to the good things in the here and now.

Trigger Relief--better than Rolaids!

Your faithful friend,


CJ

Yeah, I know the phone plan means nothing. I've known about the Infideliphone since the second D-Day in October. I'm just suspicious that she's pushing it into my face all of a sudden on the heels of me questioning the emperor's clothes-divorce. If the phone plan is all she's got, the Sippy Cup Queen is in trouble.

Dark! Me!

sdguy, I think you should take a bubble bath while singing along to your iPOD, "I Will Survive" (Gloria Gayner), and sipping champagne. Now, if you have to do something more manly, drop the champagne from the list <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

After Chrisner's post, I felt like I was at work again. I also felt like I was watching the movie "My Cousin Vinny" when Mona Lisa Vito talks about the faucet leak...Fricken hilarious! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

((( sdguy )))

You are getting tons of great advice and support here. Just wanted to give you a hug....

car

Dear SDguy,

I know that I am breaking apart my children's home and leaving them in a single parent environment...

...and I know that I am dishonoring every vow I ever made...

...and I know that my character has been dishonest, untrustworthy, and spiteful...

...and I know that I am leaving my own children for my own selfish pleasure...

...and I know that I am purposely hurting them in the deepest way that a parent CAN hurt a child--by leaving...

...But I have their best interests and their HEALTH as my concerns, and as such, I worry about the speck of dust they have in their sippy cup.

Oh, and By The Way--I know that you can offer me security, stability, honestly, loyalty, and faithfulness...

...I know that we built a home
...a family
...and a life together.

But the OM really loves me. We have a phone plan together and don't need your cell phone (lifting nose haughtily into the air).

See? That's REAL commitment.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> There Sdguy. Does that lessen the pain just a bit? to see how silly she looks??



~~CJ

Wow, CJ. That's another great one. Thanks.

I've been thinking about the triggering and trying to figure out why things have been getting to me over the past couple of days. My actions have been okay, but my thoughts haven't. I've been obsessing about the Sippy Cup Queen.

I think the significant thing was at the mediation, when I found out that she doesn't know what's going on with OM's lack of divorce filing and that he has probably been lying to her. I didn't really know whether the infidels had some grand plan or reason why he hadn't filed for divorce, but at the mediation I found out that WW really doesn't know that he has to. Which means that almost certainly he's been lying to her. I know this is to be expected, but getting confirmation that he really is that big a POS and that she really is that clueless did something to me. Gave me hope? Or maybe just showed me an angle that I feel like I should be able to exploit somehow. The whole Problem-Solver-I-Should-Be-Able-To-Fix-This thing again.

It certainly threw me off track--to the point that I'm worrying about what she was doing at the baseball game and trying to discern meaning from the cell phone thing. I know what I need to do--get back to focusing on me. What she does is what she does. I Can't Fix It. Let it go. Be Still.

Thanks again for the suggestions and coaching. This place, you people, and the support you have given me have been such a blessing I can't imagine where I would be without it.

Not much time this morning...but just a reminder! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SD, you don't know what's going on inside her head, and to try to figure it out now will make you crazy. Try to put it away. Try not to dwell on what she's doing or saying or thinking--it only hurts and won't get you anywhere. You don't know what is happening on the other side of the Plan B, and part of the advantage of Plan B is that you're protecting yourself from the hurt.

I know that this is hard.

You're doing really well. You'll do even better if you can get a handle on your thoughts. Your husband is still in there somewhere. The good years you had together aren't a lie. She made a terrible mistake and hasn't been able to recover from it--can't fight off the addiction. Emotionally, he doesn't know which way is up right now. She's a Fogged-Out Zombie. She'll figure it out sooner or later. For your sake, I hope it's sooner.

You know that you have done all you can and more. Re-read your brother's words. They certainly apply for you.

(((SD)))

Back at 'cha.

Sippy Cup Email Number 2 (4 Days Later)


Dear Darling Wayward Wife,

Sensitive to your extreme concern, I did not want to leave you out of the loop regarding the ongoing Sippy Cup situation. There have been a couple minor setbacks in my plan but I really feel I have it under control now. Remember that the next time you see the kids that they can tend to exaggerate stories at their age.

The Tuttnauer Model 2540MK steam autoclave arrived yesterday and what a beautiful machine it was. It looks like something off the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. I wanted to start using it right away but discovered that it was wired for 230VAC 50/60 Hz and as you know the only available outlets left in the kitchen are 120 VAC. Fortunately, I found an electrician who was able to squeeze us in on a time and a half emergency basis to get a new outlet installed. It did require a lot more wallboard cutting than I anticipated but I also found a wallboard guy for a pretty reasonable price. Let me know when you get your bill on these so I confirm there’re not ripping you off.

By the way, Mr. Belanger’s glue gun arrived as well and I have to tell you it is quite a piece of work. Who knew a glue gun could hold so much glue? More on that in a minute.

With the new outlet installed I got right to work trying it out on the first three Sippy Cups. Everything seemed to be going great so I used the 10 minute sanitizing time to put together the new glue gun.

After a few minutes the house started filling with a bad odor of something melting. It was only then that I found out that the sanitizing temperature of the Tuttnauer reaches 273 degrees and the plastic they use for a Sippy Cup has a melting point of only 175 degrees. Who the he!! Knew these things got so hot. I am very disappointed that Mr. Belanger being an engineer and all did not advise me of this when I called him with my original plan. When I called him back today to tell him about the poor results he replied, “Yeah, I didn’t think of that.”

Well long story short, the Sippy Cups became Sippy Cup Goo and really got into the workings of the autoclave. Unfortunately, while I was unsuccessfully trying to scrape the Sippy Cup remains from the autoclave, DD3 found the unattended glue gun in the living room.

It’s kind of funny how much the glue gun resembles those blasters used by the storm troopers in Star Wars. Well you know DD3’s fondness of Star Wars sooo…….. The curtains are definitely shot, I think we can patch the carpet but I am not too certain about the couch.

I tried to use some solvents to get up the glue but all that did was smear it around and fill the house with some pretty biting fumes. To get the kids out of the fumes I decided we should check into the Four Seasons for the night. We did get there just after midnight and since this technically would be your day with the kids, I charged the room to your card. Have you ever seen the prices of the stuff they keep in those mini-bar refrigerators?

I am thinking of just going back to the rinse, wash and disassemble advise regarding the care of the Sippy Cups. That would probably work okay.

I will keep you informed on the progress.

Hugs and Nooggies

Sdguy038

PS: I called my attorney today to be sure he got the autoclave added to your list of marital property.

afk;fjepur83ajdlkvm'a534685468dsafj;lkj

Sorry for the scrabble above....I had to clean my keyboard off after I spit my tea all over it while reading chrisner's post.

Laughter is the best medicine. Thank you, dr. chrisner. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

OMG, Chrisner, THANK YOU for the email#2. AWESOME.

LMAO

laughing hysterically now...chrisner...you are the man!!!!!

Great stuff, Chrisner!

Chrisner

You are the man.... you should write for a card company.

You know the type Hallmark wouldn't advertise.

Still

I regret to inform you all that upon emptying the dishwasher today (from having been run a couple of days ago), one of the "clean" sippy cups I removed still had the plastic insert attached. Clearly I am in need of the enlightenmight that the Goddess (of Sippy Cups) Herself provided me. I am aghast at this turn of events, particularly since I had just about convinced myself that I wasn't responsible for the Sippy Cup In Question that so unfortunately was transferred to The Goddess.

My mother, you see, has taken to following my thread and informed me today how much she enjoyed all the discussion on sippy cups. She also said that she (having spent some time with me recently) was probably the one who had washed the sippy cup without removing the plastic insert (she being somewhat less familiar with Sippy Cup technology, given that they weren't available when I was a child). She went on to say that she probably would have done it on purpose had she known how much fun the resulting discussion was going to be.

Thus, I thought I had found a scapegoat for the source of the Negligent Sippy Cup Cleansing. After today's discovery, however, it is apparent that I am every bit as negligent with respect to Sippy Cup Hygiene. Maybe we are both guilty. Perhaps the Sippy Cup gene just doesn't run in our family.

Alas, I feel I must immediately inform our court-appointed mediator and have our agreement amended to include specific language on the use, care, and (most importantly) cleaning of Sippy Cups. I have also sent a personal message to Richard Belanger, notifying him of my gross parental inadequacy.

sdguy038 (HI, MOM!),

I hope you are not neglecting the dresser drawers while you are so focused on Sippy Cup Hygiene! You've got to be able to multi-task.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

My mother repeatedly told me that there was no little man in the dishwasher scrubbing each dish so they had to be "washed" before being put in the dishwasher. (I always thought that defeated the purpose of a dishwasher.)

Anyway, maybe you need to let the little man I believe is in every dishwasher know that he missed a few spots? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> He can be your scapegoat.