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LOL. I almost posted that, too!
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I mean, where are all of those people going, in their little running shoes and shorts? The last time I truly ran, it was because my Drill Sargeant told me to, and you did EEEEEVERYTHING he told you to do.
I hate running, unless being chased, and then I pray that my ankles hold out...
I prefer swimming, floating, floating with a Margarita...
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I know that I have been banking anger--putting it aside, ready to give it up if she wakes up. I am a very forgiving person, but if our family is permanently ripped apart because of her affair, all that anger will be realized. BINGO. NAIL ON THE HEAD. Did that. Realizing it now. Thinking about telling her what a shallow, weak, pathetic person she is, and what a lousy mother she has become. BINGO. NAIL ON THE HEAD. Want to do that SO bad, but know it's pointless. They want you to do that so they can tell everybody how mean you are. Don't give em the satisfaction. Lots of anger today, and I want someone else to hurt the way I do. Someone besides my kids. BINGO. NAIL ON THE HEAD. A lot of my anger comes from her doing this to DS. I promised him when he was born that this would never happen to him. Now I'm a lier. Thanks WW. She doesn't know any of this though. I hide all of it from her. I don't know if I'll ever let on to the anger, hurt, resentment. I'd rather remain in a state of grace. It's so hard to be the mature responsible one all the time, but we do it any way. We do it for our own self respect, We do it for our kids, We do it b/c it's right. There's no shame in what we do. We're good guys and we'll come out on top. If your WW ever comes around she will be so grateful for the way you handled this. If she doesn't, whoever you're with next will be floored when they find out how you handled this. Either way, you're building MAJOR cool points. Hang in there.
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Thanks, BC. Your words were great, and they are much appreciated.
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Great post BC. Spoken just like someone who just ate a couple pounds of hamburgers in deer grease this weekend!
SD, you sound better today Amigo. This is good. If you get too many Major Cool Points I won't be able to hang with you at Bob's in July.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Great post BC. Spoken just like someone who just ate a couple pounds of hamburgers in deer grease this weekend! Been payin for that since last night.
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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I prefer swimming, floating, floating with a Margarita... i'm for swimming....plus I love NEMO like floating on those lazy rivers at a water park. relaxing just round and round. is there a place you could do that with a frozen drink? i bet in the carribean...never been, i'm puttin that on my to do list. SDG....checkin in....I 'm glad you have made some head way with the aggreement. the financial aspect of this reality is so overwhelming to me. I am glad you have made a reasonable arrangement with WW. keep on keepin on. keep soakin up that sunshine, its got to feel great! right?
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
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It's so hard to be the mature responsible one all the time, but we do it any way. We do it for our own self respect, We do it for our kids, We do it b/c it's right. There's no shame in what we do. We're good guys and we'll come out on top. Truer words... You will be (are) an amazing H someday because of all of this...for W (if she appears again) or someone new.... that is something tohold your head high sor!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
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I've read BC's post several times now. It's great.
Weather here is fantastic today. Hot (80), cloudless sky.
The support agreement is off to the lawyers now, so I think it means we will avoid going to court. Hooray!
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That's good news, sdguy. I hope you can get a reasonable agreement that works for you. See....CA isn't so different than MT. (did I just say that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> ) Weather is great here, too. 76 degrees, slight breeze, cloudless sky. So there <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Of course, I'd have to find a lake beach to walk on and it just isn't the same as an ocean beach! Less crowded, though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Yeah, but those mountains . . . .
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Well, the temp was about 10 degrees cooler here, but that same sky showed up here! Amazing how that works...
"Blue skies, smiling at me, nothin but blue skies do I see...."
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Trigger, potentially severe. WW has asked for the kids all Memorial Day Weekend (Sunday is my day). I asked her what her plans are. I'm afraid it's some kind of trip with OM.
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((sdguy)))
tough one. If you do let her have them keep yourself busy.
Stay strong.
Still
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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...or you could say no, Sunday's your day. You don't need to make it easy for her. Shameless hussy! (oh...I like that one. I'll have to remember it for use somewhere else).
Just don't do it. You have a schedule, so use it to protect your kids.
Don't you suddenly have a big Mem Day picnic to go to on Sunday??? One in which everyone is expected to bring their kids? Or was it that you were thinking of hosting such a picnic? Hmmmm?? I'm just SURE that you are busy, and have wonderful plans for the kids that day, making it simply impossible for you to let her have them for the entire weekend.
Too bad. So sad. Shrug. Walk away.
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LilSis,
Definately like your plans better.
Still
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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I completely agree w/ LilSis. If she wants to see her kids all Memorial Day weekend, she can move back in wither their father. This is also your chance to show your WW that you won't be a happy little coparent. I bet she had a really nice weekend planned for all of them...tough [censored].
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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My reply was "I have tentative plans for that Sunday. What are your plans?"
She said "I was hoping to take them out of town for the long weekend."
To which I responded "Just you and the kids? Where would you go?"
If it's just her and the kids, I will consent. If not, my plans will be too significant to change.
Thanks for the advice.
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Tell her, "No, we have plans."
She probably is planing an outing with OM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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I think I remember something you mentioned earlier....something about plans on the Sunday before Memorial Day...I don't remember if it was a picnic or a trip to the pool....or a visit to a museum....or a hike....but it was something. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Something the children would enjoy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Yes, I'm sure of it. But it's a bit of a surprise for the children. Yes.....definitely .... I do remember. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (Princess looks around for her halo) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (Hey, you do have plans - even if they are tentative.)
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