I was wondering about the sub-text. That's just my way of getting my point across but probably lost on someone who won't get it anyway (SCQ). However, the reason I included it was that Judges always like the language "best interest of the children." And at this point, you have to write your emails expecting an attorney or judge to read them.

eta SCQ

You're absolutely right about that, PM. Any correspondence you have now, sdguy, will probably show up in court. Key phrases are, well, key.

Those buzz words show that you "get it" in the language that the courts speak.

PM, I think sdguy was maybe adding his own subtext. I know I have a tendency to say more than what is absolutely necessary.

Fox

Oh, to me the sub-text was... what the heck are you thinking SCQ... how could traveling for an entire weekend with OUR children and A STRANGE MAN instead of with THEIR DADDY be in their best interest?!?!??

But again, she wouldn't get it.

I agree that the second sentence has a good subtext that she won't get. The subtext she will read is from the 'since you put it that way' line, which she will take to read "Oh, yeah? Well, screw you."

I think I'll go with

"Since you put it that way, I choose to keep the court-appointed schedule this time and not trade Sundays. Maybe later we can get to a place where we can discuss the children with their best interest in mind."

or...in lieu of "Since you put it that way"

"After thoughtful consideration of your proposal, I choose to keep the court-appointed schedule this time and not trade Sundays. Maybe later we can get to a place where we can discuss the children with their best interest in mind."

Yeah, that would have been more diplomatic, but it's too late. Here's her response:

Looks like another Wayward Hussy Fit.

Bring it on Baby!

Yep.

I know that no response is required at this point, but this one is banging around my head, so I will type it out and see how it sounds.

'When I have requested extra time (which you have been generous with), I have always told you exactly what we would be doing. The kids tell me that you have been talking about going to Arizona to visit your parents. Had you put it to me that way--"I would like the kids for a weekend so that I can travel to Arizona and visit my parents" we wouldn't be arguing now. But that's not what you did.'

Any merit to sending that? I'm leaning towards it but welcome opinion.

These are tempting, but I know they have no merit (other than the truth):


Because you removed the kids from their home for purely selfish reasons?

Because you decided to break their family without ever trying to fix our marriage?

Remind me again how divorce is in their best interest?

Crickets man... crickets.


I think you left some over at my place... thanks by the way, they've been keeping good company with me and the dog.

STOP for at least ONE full day before you do anything else. You are far too emotional right now to be sending anymore correspondence.

Come here and write you responses and WAIT for the THWACK!@# You are angry and that will not do well when responding to these types of subtle attacks. You sound like you are backing into a corner with that language, and she smells it, the retreat.

Read what you have written and recognize the emotion. Short, sweet and to the point is not something being used. Even if you are judging her, in your head, keep it there, and just be businesslike.

Wait on this one, guy. Let the crickets ROAR.

I guess I am partially thinking about the judge. Her line about "since we cannot even come to a resolution about swapping a Sunday for a Sunday" makes me seem like the unreasonable one. If you don't read in all the subtleties of the previous communications, I can see drawing that conclusion.

I tried to capture that I'm not unreasonable. Is it unreasonable for me to want to know what she intends to do with the extra time she's asking for? How about:

'When I have requested extra time (which you have been generous with), I have always told you exactly what we would be doing. The kids tell me that you have been talking about going to Arizona to visit your parents. Had you put it to me that way--"I would like the kids for a weekend so that I can travel to Arizona and visit my parents" it would have been a different discussion and reached a happy resolution for everyone.'

Dear WW,

The facts will not support any unreasonableness on my part, of that I am sure. Extra time that I have had with the children has been spelled out as to activities, travel, etc. You unwillingness to reciprocate is telling. I will not give up my time with our children in order to support or enable you to expose them to your paramour. If this is not what you have planned then sharing the details of the request should not be a problem. As far as your threat to engage the mediator feel free to do so expeditiously.

How about NO response? You've said what you needed to say. Now let your silence speak.

Again.. Princessmeggy with the paydirt.

She's definitely a Texas grrl.

SD,

Definately Zip that Lip sweetie. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING you say at this point will accomplish anything but engage you in meaningless and painful interaction.

JMHO.

{{SD}}

Your silence will speak volumes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Do not be drawn into an email "sparring match" with her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Enjoy YOUR weekend with your children. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Stay Strong!

I agree with the silence!

BTW, I have alittle thank you on my thread for you and others who have helped me along the way. The support has been wonderful!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You're doing great!

crickets. you have already said too much.

Anything you say can be used and will be used against you in court.

Okay, I've stayed silent.

My lawyer called me yesterday and said that SCQ's lawyer had contacted him about the weekends. There is a status conference with the court on Monday, so I guess I'll hear more from my lawyer after that.

I've hit an anger phase. Gut-wrenching anger to go along with the depression (which feels mostly biochemical but hasn't let up yet). I want this to be over.

((Sdguy)))

It's okay to be angry. Right now I am so angry with WH.
Today was DD quarter fianls and she got to play alot in the second half. Her dad was not there. He was at DS hockey scrimmage. A scrimmage.... DS wouldn't of minded if he wasn't there.
Letting it go.... we are going to make it and be really happy someday. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Still