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SD, Bloomington-Normal is a bit north of my old stomping grounds, but am familiar with it. Tonight on a lark I went to the spinning class at the company fitness center. I've never been to a spinning class before. Not being a real aerobic exercise guy, I was a bit concerned, but I neither died nor threw up, and I was able to walk away unassisted. Hooray That calls for a celebration in my book! Good job on not throwing up! LOL!! I think you have inspired me to hit the treadmill in the morning!
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Just sent the following email to the ILs and cc'd the SCQ: Dear MIL and FIL,
I'm sorry that I went so long without any communication, but I expect you understand that this has been an emotionally difficult time for me.
I want you to know that I still love your daughter. I still desire for her to return to a new life with me. I still hope to restore our family so that our children can be raised together with both parents.
It is my heart's desire that the SCQ and I will live a new lifestyle where we will create and sustain romantic feelings for one another, and I know that this is possible. Pretty much word for word from Jennifer. I have no expectation that the ILs can do anything. FIL called my house the other day and left a message for the kids. Not the SCQ. And it's not like there's anything to lose. If the SCQ thinks I'm pathetic, so what? If it pushes her into completing the divorce sooner, that's okay, too.
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Regardless, I think it is good that you initiated some contact. Sounds as if they have removed themselves from the situation, which is good in relation to the A, and bad in relation to the kids. That must be difficult for them.
"Neither died nor threw up" HA HA
Over here, DS11 made chocolate chip cookies (all by himself!), and I ate dough.
So good for you!!! You are sounding better.
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Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tonight on a lark I went to the spinning class at the company fitness center. I've never been to a spinning class before. Not being a real aerobic exercise guy, I was a bit concerned, but I neither died nor threw up, and I was able to walk away unassisted. Hooray -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That calls for a celebration in my book! Good job on not throwing up! LOL!! I think you have inspired me to hit the treadmill in the morning! Over here, DS11 made chocolate chip cookies (all by himself!), and I ate dough. I'm more inspired to eat cookie dough... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Hey guy, I think it's good that you have reached a place where you can express yourself without worrying over the SCQ's reaction. If it's how you feel then why not say it, right? I am just really getting this one. I wrote a letter to PWC stating three reasons that I love him, and then expressing my fear over even typing the letter; how it takes a lot of courage for me to do what was once such a simple task, expressing my love for him. One thing I can say, I'm no longer afraid to express how I feel and what I believe in, as it really is about ME not HIM.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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So, the seats on those spinning cycles are really not padded well, and today my ##### hurts. Mmm, cookie dough. With nuts, or no nuts? You know you can buy the stuff in convenient snack-sized tubs now, right? Not that it's not great that your DS11 made cookies all by himself--that is very cool. I think it's good that you have reached a place where you can express yourself without worrying over the SCQ's reaction. If it's how you feel then why not say it, right? I guess I've braced myself somewhat, but I really have no expectations that this will make a difference or that her reaction will be anything other than Fog-based.
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Cookie dough is part of what got me in the weight mess that I'm in right now (not to mention, hmmm, wine, vodka, FRIED stuff, BUTTERED stuff, STUFF).
Sorry 'bout your [censored], my friend. I actually considered taking my bike out about 2 months ago, but then thought about the [censored] thing and decided to jump rope and hit the heavy bag instead. No bum issues there.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I got this response from the ILs today: This is a difficult time for all of us. We have shared our thoughts
and desires to both of you and as third parties in all of this we can
only hope and pray that whatever the final decision is that it will be
the best for all concerned. You and the SCQ alone know all the details
that lead up to the events that you two find yourselves in today.
These things are never just one sided and that is what makes them so
difficult not only to understand but also to resolve.
We love you both and just pray that the outcome will meet both of your
needs I don't know exactly what to make of this. It evokes some responses from me, which I was really intending not to do. The SCQ sent me a business-like email about kid stuff the next day, which, had I spent any time trying to predict what she would do, is what I would have predicted she would do. I responded in kind.
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Oh, SDGuy, this is the typical in-law response. Read it like this: Our daughter is being irresponsible and an adulteress. We have warned her about that, but she continues on her merry path. So it might have been something that YOU caused, but in the end, we hope our daughter, you, and the kids will live happily ever after.
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You're right, Believer. I've been through all of this stuff with them before. When I exposed to them and found out that MIL had an affair (and she said things like the SCQ needs to listen to what I have to say) I was hopeful and gave them lots of info. Stuff from here, told them how affairs work--the whole bit.
They talked a good game at first but eventually backed off ("we DID talk to her" and "she's our daughter"). It made me angry for a while, but I've cooled off. I think they are pretty typical, and I don't know that it would have made much of a difference if they had gone all out to stop the affair. It's not like the SCQ is close to them.
There are all sorts of things to respond to in their note, but I don't imagine that there is much of a point. I'm going to give it some time before I do anything.
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"Thank you for your kind thoughts. Please call any time you would like to see the children.
Love sdguy"
Anything else is a waste of your important, precious energy that needs to be spent on you and your kids.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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So tempting . . . must educate . . . solve problem . . . . Anything else is a waste of your important, precious energy that needs to be spent on you and your kids. Right. Thanks. Feeling pretty good. I think I'm going to do the cruise thing before Christmas.
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ow, ow ow, take me, take me....can I go? PLEASSSSSSEEEEEEEE!! I promise I'll be good! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> i won't drink 2 much, I'll dress nice...I'll be on my bestest BE hav ior! LMAO...You sound great! like ,,,,hummm...peaceful? Almost... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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GET OUTTA THE WAY, RIN!!!! (Fox hip-bumps Rin - sends her flying) Me, me!!! I wanna go! I promise not to say "yeah, but" Really, I won't, I promise. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Sorry, Rin, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! Guy Smiley said CRUISE! (Fox helps Rin up) Fox
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I promise not to say "yeah, but" LOL If I offered to share my cabin with anyone from here, I'm pretty sure BR would launch a rocket at my head. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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GuySmiley,
Share a cabin? Heck no?! I would figure you're the kind of guy who would be 'proper' enough to spring for a SUITE with separate bedrooms!!
I have 11 days of vacation time left to burn before the end of the year,,,,,,,,,
he he he!
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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ladies - sdguy is still a married man...and some of you are still married women...
yes...I am BR the Flirtation Terminator!
I am sure one my teenage boys can show me how to launch a rocket...
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Was that flirting? [email]D@mn[/email], I was just looking for an excuse to hip-bump Rin. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
All intended in jest - among a group of friends. Somtimes it's the light heartedness here that gives us a smile we might not have had that day.
Have a great day all! Hope you make that cruise, sdguy, and have a fantastic time.
Fox
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Oh, Rin. I thought I better add that a hip-bump around my house is a compliment - a sign of affection. So, if I hip-bump Guy Smiley, call me on it... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Fox
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hip-bumping the other girls out of the way to take a cruise with sdguy is flirting.
I certainly would not be ok with my husband joking around with other guys in competition to go on a cruise with a woman. Even in jest.
"Just a joke" is the start of many affair.
boundaries are becoming very stretched over here, and that is NOT a good thing for sdguy.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Oh, yeah? Well....here's a hip-bump to you, BR. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Fox
Last edited by wildhorses74; 11/16/07 12:04 PM.
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