Hi AGG - I'm a divorced, 45 year old with no kids but I have dogs. As some of the responses have indicated, maybe you're just reading too much into it.....IMHO.

I love my pets probably as much as parents love their kids - my pets have been lifetime companions throughout my entire adult life - they are VERY important to me. So, I would list my pets as being important to me because it just wouldn't do anyone any good to respond to my ad if they didn't like pets, was allergic, etc. because we wouldn't be compatible.

However, I can speak only for myself here, I wouldn't put a dog's life above a human's life, but I wouldn't consider a long term relationship with someone who didn't like pets - because they are part of my "package" as children are part of the parent "package" - a non-negotiable. And, I don't think that a non-parent is totally clueless to the relationship with children that a parent has just because they don't have children. My boyfriend has three kids, and I support him 100% that his children come FIRST - before job, before me, before fun, etc.......and I respect that. I would think less of him if he were to put me BEFORE his kids, his kids are a part of our relationship, and I'm happy for that. No, I'm not looking to be their mother, but as a childless woman, it IS nice to spend time with a father and his kids - something that I didn't have the opportunity to do when married, and no, I don't ever expect him to pick ME over his kids.......so there are childless ladies out there that DO understand the parent/child relationship.......

Just for fun, I will share what I put on my profile when I was on EHarmony:

Can't live withouts:

1. Family and friends;
2. My Job (pays for my lifestyle);
3. Oreo cookies.......won't ever give those up!

I'm hoping that my list isn't why I couldn't find anyone worth anything while I was on EHarmony!!!

Laura

Of course it is different - and I do believe that all of us "non-parent pet lovers" do realize that.....and yes, I also do believe that the non-parent pet lovers understand what having kids is about - even though we don't have them....I can only speak for myself, but I do understand the difference.

Laura

omg agg i think you are seriously looking wayyyyy too much into this.

are you telling me you would seriously consider NOT dating one of these women because they list their dog and that they could not live without them?

my stepmother is over the edge off her rocker animal lover. i mean this women was seriously so depressed when her dog died she went on AD's! she could not live without her dog, she would list that. BUT, she is also one of the most caring, compassionate, loving people you could ever meet. she loved her animals long before she had children. i knew her before she had children and she treated me just fine. she treated me with love. and when she had my sister, she knew exactly how to be a good mother.

so, yes she loved and loves her animals in such a way that some people would think she was nuts,BUT, she loves the people in her life just as much and that is quite a find.

these women may list that they could not live without their dogs,but maybe they,like my stepmother, feel that way about people too. one of these women, if they are like my stepmom, would stand by you no matter what and love you forever just as they love their animals.

maybe look at it that way.
mlhb

BRAVO mlhb - BRAVO!!

I was looking for those words - and you found them! I have found through my life's journey that those that love animals with a passion are some of the MOST passionate people in ALL of their relationships - something about having an endless amount of space in their hearts for all - both 4-legged and 2-legged!

(some might call me an "off her rocker" animal lover too, and I'm proud of that!)

Laura

I'm going to answer first then go back and read what other's have said.

Personally,I am not sure if maybe the women who answer like that are really serious.It's kind of like saying your "dying for a piece of chocolate" or a sundae.Not really dying,just expressing a deep desire about something.

I also have known a few people who have put such importance on their pet it seems inappropriate.I love my dog too,very much but she has her place in this family.

Well AGG,

I think that you are taking the question too literally. I'd probably say that I can't live without or am most passionate about my self-composting toilet or my yurt but I'd sure hope that you wouldn't take me too seriously...

All joking aside, I worked as a veterinary technician for 15 years before becoming an RN and I noticed that most people who said that they couldn't live without their dogs felt that way until they had kids - coworkers included. And all of them have made great parents IMO. The same qualities that that make them good "pet parents" make them good parents to their children.

Admittedly, there are those few extremists that mistake their dog for a little person in a furry suit but they are usually pretty easy to spot. I've known people whose dogs have a bigger wardrobe than I do. Now that's kinda flakey.

If I understand you correctly, you are more concerned about the fact that a potential match has NK and can't live without her dog more than that she's NM? I would think that the latter would be a bigger concern - or at least for me it would be.

I'm just curious, I've dated men with kids who thought it was easier to date a woman without kids because it was easier than trying to mesh parenting styles and blend families. The relationships didn't work out for other considerations not related to the above but I'm wondering why you prefer parents to non-parents?

Or for those of us good "pet parents" who won't ever have children, we can be good with kids too - not just our own.

I think the *most* probably mean, "hey, my dog is important to me so non-dog lovers or non-animal lovers need not apply"....

Some do take it to the extreme, as Frau points out, but most are prob fairly normal in their love for their dogs.

As a HUGE dog lover myself, I would definitely put that out there. Leave it to me to fall head over heels for my BF who prefers cats <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hey, I've been outta the loop for a bit and just curious....anymore "weirdness" from G?

DW
mom to 2 sweet, 4 legged, baby girls <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Absolutely THTB and I hope I didn't appear to imply otherwise. I had an instructor in nursing school who took me aside and told me that she thought animal lovers made the best nurses because of their ability to love, care for, and have empathy for living things regardless of species. I'm probably biased, but I agree.

No, no - you didn't imply anything - I agree with you 100%. I was just making my "pitch" to AGG that us animal lovers without kids (and over 40) can be as compassionate with children as to animals. After reading his post, I was getting the vibe that he thinks that women over 40 with no kids just don't understand the parent issue - and I was sticking my two cents in that we do.

Of course, AGG, another possibility to consider is that the majority of eharmony members are dog loving NMNK who are eagerly looking to find a "perfect match" whereas the BTDT's aren't as enthusiastic the second time around or maybe they subscribe to the bitter, scorned, dog-kicking, and divorced but still looking for a date site! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

How is it AGG that you always rev up the board?

My opinion, although there have been many.
I think for women, [possibly men] that have not had children but do have a dog, they cannot imagine loving anything greater. I think until one feels that kind of love when having had a child[ren], they feel that the pet is the center of their world.
I get it and I don't.
For me, having had children, no pet could ever compare. However, if I had never had one[any] and I owned a dog, that may be the only unconditional love I would have ever felt.
All that being said.....I've seen some women act pretty ridiculous over a dog, and I get your point.

Aside from the whole animal/dog issue, I still wonder how well a NMNK person would fit into a world of DWK's world.
Sometimes I think the NK would be better as far as mixing and x issues, but NM, I'm not sure.

Something tells me you're ready to take the plunge?!!!!
AGG's ready to date again. The board will be smokin!

K!

The other possibility is that saying that you love dogs is a safe response, one that generally won't get you eliminated on a profile. Almost anything else has the potential that someone might dislike you placing that first.

Examples:
1. Religion
2. Family
3. Donuts
4. Obscure science fiction movies

Uh, guys, men, a little help here?? I seem to be overrun by a bunch of dog-loving women, run for your life! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />.

OK, too many points here to reply to individually, but a couple of highlights.

One thing most of you appear to have missed is my initial statement. It is not that I am surprised that I found a woman who loves her dog. That would be fine, it would be great, woopee, let's all sing kumbaya. No worse than a woman who can't live without her makeup, chocolate, her Ipod, her cell phone, sex, or pet rhino.

The point I explicitly made is that what caught my attention was the incredibly high percentage of my matches who said they can't live without their dogs. Get it?

So it's not the occasional oddity I am talking about, but the trend. Sort of like I would imagine you might laugh off a guy who can't live without his tool (hehe), but if every guy you saw said he can't live without his python, you might start wondering WTF, right? That is the point.

So I am not questioning pet lover's love for their pets, that is fine, count me in. I am wondering why all of my matches seem to place their dogs above most everything else.

Now, Part 2 is when I brought up the age old question of whether a NMNK person can relate to a DWK person. I am sure some can; Laura appears to be a great example, kudos <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. It still happens to be my experience that the NMNK women I meet who have dogs, do compare kids to dogs. Sorry, I am not saying all women are like that, it's just what I seem to end up with. So that is why I am leery of matches who say the dog is the most important thing, it's a trigger. But darn it if they all don't seem to have dogs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Fraulein62:

I don't. I am still trying to not have a preconceived notion here. Each one has pros and cons. The appeal of not having to blend families is huge, but my less than happy experience with childless women sort of negates that. I think it's a case by case thing.

TrulyHappytoBe:

At the risk of getting killed, I do believe that non-parents do not IN GENERAL understand the parent issues. It is not an insult; actually, as another poster wisely said, I no better understand a NMNK's issues than they understand mine. It is normal - you can't understand someone till you walked a mile in their shoes. Does not mean that the NMNK cannot empathize or learn to understand, but at the outset, starting cold, it is unlikely that they will get it all. Kinda like not knowing how to drive a car till you tried.

Karona:

Practice practice practice, you know how that is!


Yup, that is my observation as well.


Yup, and those are the ones I seem to come across.


Yeah, well, I may go out with a dog owner (no other prospects) just to come back here and tell you all "told you so" after she tells me she is not worried about being a stepmom because she already raised a puppy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.

AGG

I think I get what you are saying AGG. Whether divorced, never-married, with kids or without, there's a worm in the apple no matter where you bite.

I think the reason for your incredibly high number of dog lover responses is probably because the "can't live without" qualities that you list - honesty, fidelity, dependability, emotional stability, affection - are traits most universally shared by animal lovers.

Kind of. What I am saying is that each category has the potential to be wormy, you can't presuppose that any one category can never be wormy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.


Hehe, maybe that explains it. Maybe I'll try to change them into more "guy" items - "TV, beer, TiVo, football, ESPN, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue" (yes, I know that was six, I was trying to be funny <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ).

AGG

your "tool" and "python" eh?

my my....

hahahahaha

now that made me laugh!

mlhb

AGG, I thought you were leaning away from NMNK. I suppose, as a group, one must just be aware of some of the more common traits. These, of course, do not apply to each person in the group.

I tend to agree with the concept that NMNK, man or woman, want someone in their lives to love. They have pets instead of kids so the pets give love SIMILAR to the love kids can gives us.

Your task is weed out the ones who would kick your a.s out of bed before their pets.

I'm planning on re-joining Match pretty soon. Eharmony has done absolutely nothing for me, Yahoo Personals doesn't have the quantity Match does. All the others just don't have enough members in my area. Chemistry has given me a free membership for the past year. I'll continue if they will keep providing for free. I like the concept with Chemistry but, again, they seem to lack people, though I did go on dates with a couple of guys.

Hmmm, a little rusty right now. I need to work on making my life a little more exciting so I have something to write about.


Ahhh, BUT, you may get caught totally off guard and be in a hot steamy relationship by June, perhaps March!
Then we will all be looking for dog lovers in our worlds!
Enjoy your pursuits.

K!

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