Chrisner,

Ya, I would probably send it, but ya know having a good time isn't all bad either. It is truly sad, what is happening. However, I do see somewhat of a silver lining. Your DD19 is showing you what she is made of, and you should be very proud. Further, she is getting an education in how to handle things and what the future can hold if one loses "the plot" as the Brits say.

As for your W, yup the gulch is fast approaching and the bridge has been gone for a long time. It seems with this OM, the bridge probably was never ever built. Down into OM gulch she is going to go, with predictable results, Wil E. Coyote, nothwithstanding. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hang in there.

JL

Hmmmmmm...... I think it could do MIL a little good to see in the OMW's own writing what damage her DD45 (Wayzilla) has wrought to an innocent woman and her 2-year old son. Maybe just a little guilt over harboring and enabling two infidels in their 40's?

Added bonus is for her to hear what a scumbag Gollum really is and the destructive path Wayzilla is on.

I think star*fish is right that playing this card does not really have a down side.

I hope the pending crash is painful, but not fatal.

Pep

You're right--the crash is imminent. I think mine is in for the same kind of thing, although maybe not quite so quickly.

Don't know what to say about forwarding the email. You already know that OMW will have been demonized by OM, and that Wayzilla will be predisposed to disbelieve anything she says. I think the dark Plan B thing to do is to do nothing, although I understand your desire to get the information to her.

Oh by the way, I did send a short thank you back to OMW and clarified that in spite of OM's claim of innocent "strong emotional affair, flirting" behavior the affair did indeed include sweat, moaning and bodily fluids......BAAAAAARRRRRRFFFFFFFF........

sdguy you are right but I think I may just have to come out for a couple minutes into a really "Twilight" Plan B on this one. In my case there probably is not much to lose anyway.

I'll be eager to hear how it goes.

Your daughter sounds cool. I'm really glad she gets it.

chrisner,

If it were me, I'd try to get the first names of the two OW in the case, and just drop the WW a little email....


WW,

Have you ever asked your OM about XX, or YY?

chrisner



Curiosity will work its own little magic. If he won't answer her, it makes her wonder. If he lies, she will KNOW he lied, and creates distrust in lalaland. OM will be upset, etc.......WW will want to know more about who the ladies are......

No matter which way he answers, the distrust will be there, and her curiousity will eat her up. She will go to the ends of the earth to find out who they are. And NO, he hasn't told her this!!!

Makes for a wonderful scenario.

I would for SURE break a Plan B for this one-liner.

SB

chrisner, your 'guy pad' sounds much better than that frufru crap. It sounds sophisticated, like a GROWN UP lives there.

Your DD19 ROCKS. She is OH SO SMART, and strong. You should be very proud of how you have treated this whole sitch; I think what you do, as a parent, directly affects how your DD will see reality.

I'm with SB, I like leaving a little mystery as to why you are asking, letting the fireworks begin...

Schoolbus and SL,

Sweeeeeeeeeeeet! I will look into that.

Chris,

You can also be sure that OMW is working her own end of the bargain by now.

LB in turdland tonight.

I wonder if they serve popcorn?????

Don't you wish you had a hidden video for this one!

Speaking of LB in turdland, I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they talk abou this one... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Well I forwarded the emails between OMW and me yesterday on to MIL with the following cover:

MIL,

I received your card last week. Thank you for the kind thoughts.

I decided to share with you a short exchange of emails that I had this week with OMW. This is only the second time we have had contact throughout the affair. The first time was when I rightfully chose to expose OM and WW’s affair to her on January 5th. I doubt we will ever have the need to contact each other again.

Regardless of what has been said, there is little reason to doubt that the desire exists for one of, or both WW and OM to resume their relationship as soon as the inconvenience of their marriages are resolved. Even if on the odd chance that this is not true, as WW’s mother, I would like you to have some input into nature and character of the man who was a very central figure in the total destruction of two marriages and all the pain that it has inflicted on so many.

If WW is privately founding her future happiness on a demonstrated serial cheater incapable of controlling himself even at the expense of losing his own two-year old son then I am sure I am not alone to fear for that future. Ending her marriage, losing her home, risking her financial future and possibly doing significant permanent damage to her relationship with DD19 is quite a bet to place on such a shaky hand. I am sure that because they in fact know very little truth about each other, WW has no idea concerning OM’s past infidelity issues.

I hope you are well. Please give my best regards to FIL.

Chrisner


This should be interesting. I wonder what she will do? Think I’ll get in my lawn chair, grab a lemonade and see if the feces impacts the rotary oscillator. I will see if I can do a little digging to get the names of the other two OW’s in his past. Turn out the lights, I’m back in B.

be sure to give an update when you have one .... pass the lemonade and a Tums

Pep

oooo, the poo thickens. Oh, NO I mean PLOT, yeah, that's right, that's the ticket. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well I saw MIL opened her email finally today. We are both on AOL so I can check the read status. Let the good times roll. If she does talk to her DD45 (Wayzilla) she will no doubt buy happily into Wayzilla’s lies. MIL does not know that a loud wet rhino fart would contain more truth and make more sense than anything that comes from Wayzilla’s mouth. But it should put a brick of concern to all. My IL’s enabling desire just to be sure that poor Wayzilla is happy and doesn’t crush any more cities really pisses me off. I wanted OMW and her DS2 to have a name and a voice to remind MIL just what a huge and damaging event her daughter instigated.

The Initial Status Conference for the divorce will be set tomorrow and will occur some time in the next 30 days. I am pretty much done with the disclosure crap so I guess I am ready. This conference and the meeting to mediate the division of property could be the last two times I ever see her. No one is going to blink so this divorce bus will be going all the way to the final stop.

DD19 is dreading being invited to Infidel Hotel for Easter which should happen in the next couple days. She told me she plans on spending the day with me but I suspect WW will put the pressure on. I told DD to do what she wants but be sure to do it for the right reasons. There has been more than enough hurt spread around these past 4 months.

My train wreck sure seems to be moving faster than most here. I cringe at that statistic that says it takes 1 year for every 5 years of marriage to recover and be ready for a new relationship. That would be over 5 years for me. I’ll be checking out the babes at the nursing home by then.

Chrisner...

I was thinking the same thing about 1 year for every 5. That would be about 4 years for me.

Still

Hey, Chris. It sounds like you're doing okay. Let us know what happens with the ILs. I was communicating with my MIL for a while, but I think she started to buy into what WW is selling. Once MIL forwarded one of my emails to WW, I have them in a blackout, too. I'm sure this is okay with them--they are comfortable with their heads in the sand. It has been really tempting to pass along the information that OM is lying to WW, but so far I have resisted the temptation.

Dealing with the ILs is a frustrating one. I definitely believe that in my case (and probably most), the parenting skills of the ILs contributed to the WS's susceptibility to infidelity. I suspect they react from some defensiveness as well as loyalty to their own blood. Very frustrating.

I don't know about the 1 year for every 5years of M thingy. I would say that two years after a D, if you are really focusing on moving forward, should be good.

I dunno, apparently. I'll cross that rickety ROPE bridge hanging over a canyon once I cut through all of these briars and jungle foliage... ( Oh and, of course, AFTER I D.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Silent,

Do you mean May 1st I can't go find a boyfriend if my D is final? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I'm thinking .... I don't know what I think anymore...Calgon take me away.

Still

NOTE TO SELF:

My exH's family (my IL's) were not aware of the extent of his cheatin' ways because he convinced me that it was "between us" and that if I told them, I was "airing dirty laundry."

Well you better bet your bootie that once he pulled some of the stuff he pulled, I told his family EVERYTHING. Okay--I take that back. I did not tell every detail, but I did not hide anything from them and told them the full and complete truth...HOPING that they would go, "(huge gasp) YOU'RE KIDDING! Well that is unbelievable behavior. Of course we will tell him to stop being an idiot and return to his children and wife." Haha! That was Not Exactly their response. It was more like this, "Well...he's our son/brother and we hate to see you go but blood is thicker than water." They wouldn't stand up to him even ONCE!

So whilst I pray that your IL's are brave folks who will stand up to your WS's stupid behavior and reverse babble them, I suspect it is at least conceivable that they will avoid conflict and just say nothing--and then eventually get pissed at you for not sweeping it under the rug with them.

Don't get your hopes up TOO high.

Your faithful friend,


CJ