Hi CJ,

No, I have no real hope regarding the situation. My marriage went from a very hopeful looking one on this forum to one on its death bed in six weeks. My marriage is on life support, the power in the hospital went out and there is no gasoline in the backup generator. She will not stop this divorce and I am not going to fight her.

I did this because these people have to understand the devastating impact infidelity has on so many people’s lives. You can’t just turn around and pretend it’s an unhappy little event between WW and me. They have two over 40 year old children living in their house rent free because of their sick affairs with married other people. MIL told me one day, “I’m just so happy that DS40 (Idiot) and DD45 (Wayzilla) have a warm and safe place to stay.”

BIL has three sons, 7, 14, and 16. We have DD19. OMW has a DS2. Five children hurt by infidelity so the affair partners could grope around and sweat in the back seats in the dark. This crap is sick and they act like it’s a little tiff.

And again you’re right. There is no one on the other end who can or will receive and understand my message. But I had to try. OMW’s DS deserved a voice to these people who will never see him. I challenge their oft stated deep religious convictions. Typical religious hypocrisy. When put to a real test, their values fail. No surprise.

Wayzilla sent another funny terse little email this morning. She has been after me to scan some of the old studio portrait shots of DD19 through the years that we have in frames. I never respond about it and she seems to be getting her blood pressure up a little. Don’t think I will respond this time either. Too much to do.

- Sock drawer reorganization.
- Tupperware inventory time.
- Sockets need sorting in the garage.
- The lint filter in the dryer needs cleaning.

The list goes on and on. I think I get to the things she wants me to do at the bottom of page 7.

These dumb little digs they try to put in to you to remind you they are still out there are hilarious. She seems to be stepping that up a little the past couple weeks. Feeling a little stressed?

Just another 5-6 months of living in her mother’s spare bedroom and she will be able to get her own Love Shack. It will have lots of chickens and bunnies and fairies on the walls. Until then they probably will all sit on the porch of Infidel Hotel at night and listen to BIL play Dueling Banjos. Maybe Gollum can learn the guitar and they can do the whole duet. The whole group will look like a dumber less talented version of the Darlin family from Mayberry. Gollum would be Ernest T Bass making Wayzilla Charlene Darlin.

You are just too funny....

You know your humor brightens up our days here.

You could always add to the list....picking lint out of your belly button <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Still

Or getting the sock fuzzies out from between your toes.

This made me laugh a little....when DD13 was little she would sit and pick between her toes all the time! Getting every little imagined fuzzy out from between her toes. She also used to sit and pick underneath my fingernails for every little speck. Her own version of monkey grooming, I guess.

...and don't forget to mark your calendar for the Sippy Cup Awareness meeting that you chair every Spring...

Oh, and the Glue gun hotline that you set up.

Yuck, I just had a bad visual image of Gollum and Wayzilla squatting down, nose to nose picking the bugs off each other and eating them. Symbiotic soul mates.

Must……Not……Think……About……Baboons………DooooHHH

OMG!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> My co-workers must think I've finally gone off my rocker. That totally made me honestly LAUGH OUT LOUD! Not just a little loud but LOUD!

hahahaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thought of my own infidels doing the same....ugly red-butted baboons!

Chrisner,

I am very sorry for your sitch. The OM in your sitch sounds a lot like my H, this is his same MO to seek out women who are needy and tell them how misunderstood he is, miserable and they want to "save" him as much as he wants to "save" them. I'm convinced that deep down the two people involved in these types of A's think it through and totally realize on some level what they are doing not only while they are doing it, but before.

The OP in my sitch would not respond positively to news of my H's other A's. She would say that this is just further proof that we were never meant to be together, I don't understand him and she does. So, I would say that at best you might reach MIL, but not WW by sharing the e-mail. Especially if the A is still on-going, it will just be further justification/rationalization I'm afraid. In your case I think your WW still sees you as her fall-back plan and doesn't realize or accept that her actions could in fact close that door to you. I hope for the best for you and I love your sense of humor and class in dealing with your sitch. You behave very admirable.

Chrisner,

Sorry you are here and for what you are going through. But I must say, YOU are a RIOT!!!

Thanks for brightening my day, sort of ...

The MIL thing cracks me up. "We just want our babies to be 'happy.'"

OH BROTHER ...

Somehow they sound just like the OW, don't they?

What a load of crap.

I'd sooner string my babies up and beat them like pinatas before I'd allow that kind of "happiness" to invade my casa.

(shudder)

And my babies KNOW it.

Chrisner...your wit and humor will help in this mess...I promise.

- Kimmy

The “Initial Status Conference” for the divorce has been set for 9 AM March 24th. How happy. I understand if all goes well and civil this may be the only time we need appear in court. It is conceivable that with the property disposition mediation meeting, these may be the last two times I see Wayzilla before the D is final. Then she is free to openly grope and sweat with Gollum in public without the unhappiness of being called an adulteress. Then this beautiful, heart warming, nurturing relationship is free to soar in sunshine with the bluebirds until the hydrogen bags ignite and it comes down in Hindenburg style flames with the buzzards picking at the charred remains. “Oh, the humanity!”

DD19 and I had a great weekend. We went to the WNIT Championship in Laramie between Wyoming and Wisconsin. Over 15,000 people showed up to watch the Cowgirls win. Laramie went nuts. We came home, went out to dinner, rented movies and had popcorn. Sunday I coached in three games (2 JV girls and 1 6th grade boys). Great weekend. Wayzilla never called DD once. Hmmmmm.

I went shopping for supplies at Super Target Sunday morning with DD19. I have found myself surprisingly open and gregarious in public recently, smiling and talking to everyone. Have any other Plan B’ers found this happening? I left several people in the store laughing when we rounded an isle with the shopping cart and walked right into an “It” woman.

She definitely had “It.” She was the right age, convex in the right places, concave in the right places (stop reading SDguy) pretty hair, pretty face and she probably knew she looked real good in those jeans. I smiled, said something typically stupid, we laughed, we looked at each other and moved on. Arrrggggg.

DD19 pokes me in the ribs as we moved away and says, “Dad, she checked you out!” And I responded, “DD, I am very happily married until your mother’s stinking divorce is final. Until then I am Abstinence Man.” DD19 replies (in regard to the divorce), “Then gitter done Dad.”

As a final note to the weekend, I found out DD19 has loaded a special ringtone for incoming calls from WW; “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” original 1939 Munchkin vocal version. What has Wayzilla done to herself?

Chrisner, I just wanted to say YOU ROCK! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> And your DD sounds like a pretty awesome kid. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I wish the very best for both of you....you deserve it.

Lori

The time will come, my friend. Until then, you're doing great. I'm happy you have such great support from your daughter.

"Oh, the humanity" is one of my favorite quotes. Are we related somehow?

Yello, brother.

This is just a brief post of encouragement & love, & for you
to know I am sending continued energies of buckupitude &
stiffupperlippitiness.

I told you I came in to read & keep up (you're hard to
get on the phone once in awhile- you're posting in here,
tying up the line LOL).

I have read most, if not *quite* all of your posts here.

Read in the sippy cup thread. Well, *I* always knew you
had it in you. Mark Twain, H. Allen Smith, H.L. Mencken-
you'd make the guys proud.
You make me tremendously proud, as you know (or to tell you
now, if you never did), and you always have.

ew. public display of affection. hope that's cool.

One of the worst moments I've had in awhile was the evening
we said goodbye and goodnight over the phone, and knowing
I was leaving you in tears. I hated hated hated the thought of
you being in such pain. It hurt me, too.

Our busy, married lives have kept us apart more than I
(now) realize I would have liked for- well, for all of our
adult lives, pretty much. I think you have a 27th wedding
anniversary coming up (april?), and this year will be my
25th.
Anyway, since our communications have become a bit more
commonplace in the last few months, it reminds me how much
I have been missing.

You were the steady kid, the plodder, the rock, the sensible,
focused, get-things-done-cause-they-need-done personality,
I was the wierd one, the flake.
Probably not much has changed.

Along those lines, you know I have been pulling the
occassional card or three for you (well, really *for* me,
*about* you.
Hoping for insight, maybe.
Maybe hoping to glimpse what is down the road, hoping to
see something new, something illuminating.

Well. The cards fall less into the startlingly revealing
category than they do the repetitive "bleedin' obvious" one.
How predictable. (look- heheheh a pun)

WW comes up all the time. Along with charming cards like
'debauch'. (well tell me something i *don't* know).

I am at least reassured that *your* character remains intact
through all this (I will say that comes less from a deck
of tarot cards than it does from talking to you on the
phone).

And while I don't take it for granted, and I know
(I have seen and heard) you have up and down days, I am
able, day by day, to let out a bit more of a sigh of
cautious relief as I gain more confidence that you will,
you are, making your way across the channel. Covered in
crisco, true, and beaten by cold waves and getting all
waterlogged, yeah. But making it.

I have told you already, but it bears repeating here,
that I have inexpressible gratitude for the people here,
who are helping you (WAY more than I ever could).

sdguy, silent lucidity, wild horses.. everyone. thanks for
helping save my brother.


~ your sister

It's a pleasure to help people here, because we help each other. We are symbiotic here.

I hear in your post what I suspect my sister felt when I called her two summers ago and could barely talk through tears. She hurts for me, she aches when I ache. She's angry and sad for me and my son. Your love is MOST important to us sibs.

Luckily for us, there isn't much time to 'Oh, Whoa is me' because we come bearing human and humanity to help each other. These people are my brethren (sisteren, too) and I feel what they feel. It's quite a unique place.

aww..geez. I just got that lump back in my throat again.

Your brother is a HUGE asset to this board. I have so appreciated his humor, his upbeat attitude, his stories of his DD, and how he ALWAYS jumps in to back one of us up or give us a little nudge to pull it in a little before we do or say something crazy to our waywards.

Even pulling the Batmobile out so he could and sdguy could hold my WH while I got in a few good kicks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I hope I have been able to give him even a tiny bit of that back.

This was an incredible post to your brother. What a great family you must have. Even during those times you don't know what to say, just let him know you are there. That makes all the difference in the world.

Oh man...now I've got tears...

Beautiful people you have there....

(sniff)

Beautiful post, (do I have to call you toadeater?). It's nice when people understand what we have here. Once my mom started really following my thread, she had one of those moments--she got inspired to call me up and comment on how great this is for me. I know she feels the same level appreciation about all of you. She might even post to that effect if she were more, um, technologically savvy (I still think she was the one who made the first Sippy Cup Slip).

All the residents at Infidel Hotel seem to be losing it.

Friday night Wayzilla tried to use BIL’s DS7 to guilt DD19 into going bowling with them. It was a pretty low and cheap stunt and made DD19 angry that a 7 year old was used like that. She did not return the call.

Saturday DD19 finally answers the “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” ringtone and is invited to a MIL barbeque spectacular on Sunday. She could hardly contain her excitement.

Sunday and the big day arrives. As she has done for the past 2-months, DD19 brings her best friend with her for protection. Naturally Wayzilla does not like this friend at all any more and has expressed her desire for DD19 to stop seeing her.

So much baffling weird crap was said and done I can’t even tell it all.

Idiot BIL seems to have given up on his affair with the MOW (yep, right at the 2-year mark). He’s gone legit with an actual single divorced woman with a DD12. Wayzilla told DD19 that his MOW was “taking too long” to leave her husband and he had to move on. I guess the MOW must have had concerns leaving her marriage for a 40 year old penniless moron who lives in his mother’s basement. His new girl friend is now Wayzilla’s “mostest and bestest friend ever”. Of course none of our friends of the past 25 years will talk to her.

DD19 and her friend felt like the whole event was some sick attempt to blend all these kids (BIL’s DS7, DS15, DS17 BIL’s new woman’s DD12 and our very own DD19) into this new hillbilly “happy family.” DD called it “creepy and weird.” BIL’s DS17 who has struggled terribly with his dad’s infidelity and divorce would not talk to anyone or go near BIL or Wayzilla and exchanged a few sad and knowing glances with DD19. Insert your barfing emoticon of choice.

At some point MIL scolded DD19 with, “This is your mother (pointing to Wayzilla) and you need to call her and keep us both informed on what you’re doing!” Yep, another Love Buster. DD19 said she had to bite her tongue for what she wanted to say about her mother and resist leaving right then.

DD’s friend scored a few points. She knows she is getting under Wayzilla’s skin so she turned on her Valley Girl clueless chatter imitation and started telling Wayzilla and MIL how awesomely clean and tidy the house is now and how much fun DD19 and I are having on out Saturday’s out because DD19 talks about it all the time. DD19 jumped in and talked about the high schools approaching me for coaching opportunities, my looking to be a volunteer at the History Museum and the “funny story” about the woman “checking me out” at Target. This was met with stony silence from the audience. God bless them both. I took them to dinner Sunday night.

As for me, I am doing great. Saturday with DD19 was an unbelievably good time and we laughed all day just like the three of us used too. The History Museum, the Botanical Gardens, book and CD shopping and lunch at one of our old favorites. Hearing about the day at Infidel Hotel closed a couple more doors for me on that which was our marriage.

Plan B 71 Days
No communication 37 Days.
Initial Status Court Hearing April 24th.
Wayzilla: 45-1/2 and still in her mother’s spare bedroom.