Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,074
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,074 |
I don't post much anymore, but promised myself I would stop by from time to time. My H and I have been in recovery for almost 7 years. I like to keep attached to MB because I have learned valuable information that has improved my marriage, and I never want to forget where we came form. I also want to be a source of inspiration.
Our recovery is complete. You make a choice after a period of time to stay and make it work or to leave. Most people are content with their decision, even if they had no choice, within two years.
I can only speak for us, but I have to say that the memory of the affair is only history now. It changed our marriage forever, but it is a great marriage. We have become more loving, more successful and our children are thriving. We have learned to keep the flame alive and spend time as a couple. We have learned to give and take.
I have to say the one great lesson I have learned is that love is a gift that I can give. Forgiveness is possible, and life can be beautiful again. You know what they say, if life gives you lemons, make lemonaide. I cannot tell you how sweet it is now. The affair was a bump on a long road.
So no matter where your road leads you, take this as a personal growth experience. Happiness is again around the corner. Patience and time. Make no quick decisions-all you have is time. Take 6 months to digest what is happening. Read, read, read.
Best wishes and hello to all...Jersey Girl
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Amen, new jersey! Good to see you and glad you are doing well. We have been in recovery almost the same time, and indeed, life can be beautiful again. I am forever grateful I found this forum or I know I wouldn't have what I have today. Best wishes to you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,074
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,074 |
Hi Melody. It is so true. I believe that following Dr H's books saved my marriage. Knowing what was happening, what the next stage was, etc. helped me be cool when I needed to and helped me be strong when I had to.
I think one of the lessons is also that any relationship, new or old can be vulnerable. It is important to keep your marriage alive and these principles are very helpful. Hugs to you and all. Life is beautiful again.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145 |
I like to keep attached to MB because I have learned valuable information that has improved my marriage, and I never want to forget where we came form. I also want to be a source of inspiration. That's so true for me, too, NJ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> MB was a huge factor in helping my H and I create a great relationship. It gave us the tools we needed to get into recovery. Before MB we were doing our best to completely screw our marriage up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> But, out of the ashes... Thank you for sharing your recovery story! This type of post helps to bring hope to this board. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Lori
VERY HAPPY! FBS/FWS; 47yo; M-29 yrs.; DS-26,DD-21; our affairs: 1990-'96
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,074
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,074 |
Thank you too! I just want the new folks to know that it is possible to successfully recover after an affair. Hello to all!
|
|
|
|
1 members (1 invisible),
968
guests, and
44
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
