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Way to go, you bad a$$!

Now go do something fantastical for yourself.

~ Marsh

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Just prayed for you LilSis. I believe God will give you strength.


Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.

Plan A Thread
Plan B Thread
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Have you had a chance to talk to MIL yet, or plan how you are going to deal w/communication with her? It would be kind of interesting if he called her asking her what she knew about it and she could truthfully say, "nothing." That would actually would work in your favor (I think that would throw WH even more...make you appear even more "dark" to him), but I know you don't want her to be blindsided w/it.

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Lilsis... I am praying for you and your children. You all deserve so much more than this.

{{{LILSIS}}}

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You know what...this is beside the point, but...he actually gave ME a hug this time! I hugged him first, then pulled back to look him square in the eyes, one last time...and as he was leaving he initiated another hug.

I was proud of myself for having the driveway totally clear of snow when he came to get the boys (not quite straight, but clear). I hope he asks and DS8 tells him the I did it MYSELF...not my neighbor, who has the monster snow blower.

Okay...what to do with my day now. I am going to the hardware store to buy some grout to finish my craft project (I mosaic-ed a vase with pieces of glass, giving it to MIL as a belated b-day present). Maybe go to Panera for a bagel and coffee for lunch. I'm going to look up some info for Lisa and I to visit the spa together (my gift of appreciation). I suppose I should clean my house, too. Dinner tonight with my neighbor.

Sounds like a plan. I'm okay. I'm okay.

I still haven't figured out how to bounce back emails. The drop-down menu doesn't show any choices....I gotta work on that, too.

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Can someone post instructions for LS on how to do the email bounceback? What email program are you using?

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Quote
Have you had a chance to talk to MIL yet, or plan how you are going to deal w/communication with her? It would be kind of interesting if he called her asking her what she knew about it and she could truthfully say, "nothing." That would actually would work in your favor (I think that would throw WH even more...make you appear even more "dark" to him), but I know you don't want her to be blindsided w/it.
Quick reply and then off to do something fantastical! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No, haven't spoken to her. I do not think she would be blindsided...she knows that I was considering going dark...and since she has been relatively out of touch while they are on the road, I do not believed she would be terribly surprised.

WH probably won't be able to reach them either.

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LS,

Here's how you block the email.

http://email.about.com/od/macosxmailtips/qt/et051901.htm

If you have the self control not to read them, you can bounce it back manually. Go under the "Message" menu in your email program and choose "Bounce." Then, he'll see that you're not accepting the emails, because they'll come back to him. If you just block, I think your email program will just automatically delete it and he won't see the block. Not sure, though.

We're all pulling for you. Stay dark. And take care of yourself.

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Bouquets!


U did your highest brightest gracious best with the information, knowledge, CAPACITY, and best of intentions at this time.



U raised the bench mark of standards.



Hope you can call it day...



Keep it simple... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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Thanks everyone. My neighbor called so I didn't get out of here.

RE: email

For some reason the drop down menu in T-bird's message filter doesn't allow me to select "reply with template."

So my fix is to set the filter to forward any email from him right BACK to him and also delete it. He won't know that it's deleted, but he might figure out that something weird is going on if something is forwarded right back immediately.

I suppose it will still be in deleted items....grrr....

Off to the store

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((( Lil Sis and her darling sons )))

YOU are an inspiration to so many !!!

I feel very honored to even *know* you just a little.

Now remember, when it gets pretty yucky -- close eyes and give it to God... He is listening...and will take some of the burden off your shoulders

Next time you want to kick back and watch a movie -- (not sure if this is for 8 yr olds) pick

Little Miss Sunshine


Sending thousands of hugs ~ carnation


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IAD,

Thanks for answering my question on the TJ. It makes me feel slightly hopeful. I do think it will take my WH a little longer if he ever is affected.

Still

PS LilSis,

I'm so proud of you... we believe this is for the best.


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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"I suppose it will still be in deleted items....grrr...."

in the filter set it so it does not download it from the server.

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hey sis

after telling me for so long to let him go and showing his displeasure at any attempts i made to contact him,

for weeks, beginning on the day i gave my H the plan B letter, he called and called me. he left all kinds of messages.

and the e-mails started......

even a driveby where he then called and said he almost stopped but "knew i wouldn't want to see him"...now THAT was a shock

it seemed the MORE i DIDN'T respond, the harder he tried to make sure he hadn't lost that connection with me....almost like "i" became the new challenge instead of OW

i was sooooo excited because it seemed that HE was realizing his mistake and that he was afraid of losing me

he left me so many messages....BUT none saying what they needed to....that he was willing to choose ME over the OW and end all contact forever

just wanted to give you a heads up of what i've experienced because i know many others who have said the same things

sometimes though......they DO make the right choice soon after plan B starts because they are SCARED of losing YOU once they realize how much you were meeting needs they didn't even know they had

they CAN'T realize this until YOU allow the OW to have the opportunity to try to meet ALL of his needs

THIS is what you did today!

hang in there sis.........this was a hard thing but it may be the only thing that makes a difference in your situation

if you keep doing the same thing....you keep getting the same results...
BUT you have now done something DIFFERENT!

everyone is here for you!

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So, you are using Mozilla Thunderbird? Does anyone have experience with that email client? If so, please help w/step-by-step instructions.

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Go to message tab.
Create filter from message
go to lower box(perform these actions)
set to forward back to him
click on + box
set to delete from pop server
click okay
done

he will get it forwarded back to him... you will never see it.

Last edited by mkeverydaycnt; 03/03/07 01:45 PM.
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That's what I had done, MEDC, except I didn't delete from POP server (since I don't know what that means...) so I'll fix that.

Thanks!

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What if he wants to send you kids photos like he has in the past? Can he send those to your intermediary?

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I guess not. No contact means no contact. If he takes pictures of the kids, those pictures are his. I take my own pictures of the kids.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

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He doesn't get to share pics of the kids...

He needs a good hard look at what life without LilSis is like...

The little things like shared love and pride of children must NOT be available to him...


~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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