Zoloft

that's right, I forgot

seems to be a good fit for you

Haven't tried the condos but we used to stay at those motels that provide free breakfast/including cereal..on the outskirts..and then ride the Metro in..that added to the fun quotient for the boys...the Metro is EASY/ORGANIZED and CLEAN..will take you directly to wherever you want to go and you don't have to worry about parking...

You're doing great Lil Sis and you sound very strong.
As for the IL's...MIL probably feels stuck in the middle of this. For your own well being try not to expect MIL to kick WH out of the home. They've allowed him to stay there for a long time without consequence. That's the reality of the situation. It took me a long time to adjust to the fact that my ex-IL's, as much as they said they loved me, when it all came down to it, they stood by their son. Relationships with the IL's are bound to change and is a consequence of WH's actions. He put you and your MIL in this position by having an A. Just as plan B allows the WH to get a taste of what D will be like...unfortunately there is reality in what you are experiencing with IL's as well. Things will not be the same if WH stays in the A. Relationships can become strained and awkward. At least that was my experience. Acceptance of the fact that you can't control how IL's react to WH will help you stay focused on what you can control. You can only control you and be the best LilSis that you can be. You'll come out of this so much stronger.

On your other thread, awhile back, you mentioned that your son saw WH looking at homes on the internet. It's all speculation, but do you know that he is not prepared to leave IL's if they ask him to?

Back to focusing on Plan B, you are doing well and you have lots of support here. You mentioned building your own support system independent of the IL's (IRL) and that will be most beneficial to you. Keep your chin up!

DC has a great zoo.

I love slowly walking through Arlington. Get off the beaten paths and it’s a very quiet, beautiful and reflective place.

LiLSis, I have never posted on your thread before. I am in Plan B now (five weeks) and my WW has the D started. She is living with my IL’s and BIL who is having his own A with a MOW. I call their place “Infidel Hotel”. Although they say they want to support me, they have been totally enabling of WW in her pursuit of the destruction of our marriage. They have no concept of the difference between support and pity. Mostly when they talk to me it is just about them feeling better. I have stopped communicating with them now as well.

The good news is Plan B really works and you literally feel yourself becoming a stronger more independent person every day. This is all good no matter how things end.

You will do great.


Always do what you are afraid to do.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Come to Texas!! Hang on, checking MapQuest... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> -- guess that's too far too:

Total Est. Time: 16 hours, 53 minutes
Total Est. Distance: 1077.61 miles

I'd love to meet you and your boys IRL and show you how we live in the country of Texas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I know...the whole IL issue is a loaded one in so many ways. So let's not go there, shall we? I have felt my anxiety level rising today.

Must be that it's cloudy and preparing to snow buckets again. Those sunny days were w o n d e r f u l!

I have a meeting tonight. Tomorrow is my "interview," followed by conferences for both boys, and my support group at night. DS8 is stressing because he thinks that WH won't know that it is a half day tomorrow and he is picking them up. I told DS8 that dad is a grown up and he can figure these things out, and he doesn't need me to tell him what to do. (I said this in a friendly way...)

The boys are supposed to be bringing home their baby rats tomorrow. DS8 has been counting the days. WH got them a huge cage and all the stuff for it, and the boys have it all set up. I can hardly wait..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

What's a good city to consider the "outskirts" of DC?

http://www.potomacmills.com/static/node752.jsp;jsessionid=awVDl-t-9UbgpplfPe



Check this out. This is a HUGE outlet mall with GREAT BARGAINS. My "young men" and I took a weekend trip here which included shopping, movies, and a metro into DC...while my H was WAYWARD...

When you're ready to talk about IL issue again, I'll share my experience which is similiar to yours.

There's a Marriot Courtyard hotel right across the street from the Dunn Loring/Merrified (VA) metro stop.

Washington Metro has a website so that you can learn where to find their stops.

good city on the outskirts of DC?
BIL lives in Farifax...it's very close.
Alexandria's nice.
if you can stay in Georgetown...it's really cool.
or maybe check out Baltimore...the Harbor is great...has a great aquarium.

I'm familiar with all those places that Nia recommended. Those would be good choices. The Washington Metro wouldn't be available in Baltimore though.

Dear LilSis,

There are so many of us out here, feeling your pain. We cry with you, and pray for you and your dear sons eveyday!
Think of us as your silent army! We don't post all the time, but our hearts are with you in your crusade!
I lost my first marriage to infidelity. I can FEEL what you are going through.
You are capable of achieving(sp?) all you want!
Just beleive!
I think I can, I think I can, I know I can!!!!

God bless you in this holy time of lent, after all, it is the time of forgiveness!

PGA

PGA:

I just came on to mark my time...the third full day of NC.

I went back to read some of the posts from yesterday to get my head back on straight...your post gave me the boost I needed, reminding me of the silent army of people pulling for me and praying for me. Reminding me that yesterday I was ALMOST to "I know I can" and I can get there again.

In a moment of anxiety earlier, I imagined all these strangers...all so hopeful for me and caring for me. It was so comforting.

I am working my way through my Lenten devotional, reading it each morning first thing.

God bless you, too...

Dear LilSis,
We are your "Mosh Pit" to the lord! Holding you up, and praying for you!
Take long DEEP breathes... and again...and again...!
I ate soup tonight, and I thought of you!
No matter what becomes of your marriage, I personally beleive you and those darling boys will overcome, and grow even stronger!
The Lord above "loves" you!

Adore yourself, as we adore you!

PGA

We know how hard this is. We are proud of you, you should be proud of yourself.

Jo

A mosh pit to the Lord! PGA, you know how I love imagery and that's a good one! Wheeee!

Okay, today might be a bit of a challenge and I need some advice.

So here's the set-up: It is WH's day with the boys, meaning ordinarily he would pick up the boys at school and return them at 8. It is a half day. I have conferences scheduled with each teacher, one at 1 and one at 2:30. WH had also promised the boys that they could bring their baby rats home today.

I have not "reminded" WH that it is a half day. DS's are a little worried...I did not bring it up...they did..."Does Dad know it's a half day? Can you call him?" (What does that say about their confidence in him?) I told them that dad's a grown up and he doesn't need me to remind him about everything; if he is late then the school will call him.

I will be at work when the school day ends. I will be letting the front desk know that if any calls come in for me, to ask who is calling and not put any calls from WH through. If the "backdoor" line rings, I will not answer. It is HIS day with the boys, and MY day off.

Theoretically (sp?) WH could have called the schools to find out when the conferences are. Hopefully he has not gone to the trouble, or he has scheduled his own.

My question...tonight when he brings the boys home with the rats, should I tell the boys that he can come in with them to get the rats settled? I could be up in the attic or something...just make myself scarce. I do not even want to see him...I want to be THAT dark.

I know some people in Plan B have contact at kid exchange but that seems to be not quite dark...???

Also...got an email from MIL. Apparently they have been very very busy; days filled to the "brim" is how she described it. Visiting Joshua Treee, etc. Long days. She has been reluctant to call since we are on a three hour time difference and they get home very late...

Hmmm...??? Thoughts?

I was thinking of just being very honest with her. Along the lines of, "I am feeling like I may need to step back from our relationship because I am afraid that I will end up being hurt. Could we talk about that?"

Anyway...off to get ready. I'm feeling pretty good today, reminding myself that this man is NOT my H and I DO NOT want this guy. I do notice a HUGE difference when I have work to get to; some structure to my day. Those days off (Th/Fri) I end up feeling at such loose ends, and so hyper-aware of the fact that WH and I used to take advantage of my flexible schedule and spend time together. Now the time off just feel empty. (Thus the need to do something NEW, right??)

Thanks, everyone.

LilSis, first I wanted to say your wonderful your elegant and your an inspiration.

First thought to throw out is does Plan B MIL make sense to anyone? Meaning if you remove yourself from your relationship with MIL because of her sons action, she will get upset with you for a bit but more upset with HIM because he is ruining her relationship with her grandchildren. I know you have a very deep and attached relationship with MIL but you are in PLAN B and she is part of the overall world that your PLAN B'ing just a thought.

Second you should tell the school that WH needs to schedule separate sessions and YOU do not do combined parent sessions. My daughters school understands and knows that the teacher has to contact both parent and schedule two conferences.

Remember your WH will push boundaries he will try and make you break contact. Just go to your room and shut the door, tell the boys dad has 10 minutes in the house then he has to leave. and out the oven timer on when you go upstairs so it dings when its time for their father to leave