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Yep..during PLAN B, I began doing the FLOWER GARDENING that my H used to do...
I since learned that he did his OWN DRIVEBYS and was SHOCKED that I was doing that...
We now do FLOWER GARDENING TOGETHER....
I also did a PLAN B PROJECT of redoing OUR BEDROOM as GIRLY, GIRLY as possible..painted the walls PEACH and got a FLOWERY BEDSPREAD..never got used to sleeping alone, though...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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It does make me feel better that today as I'm cleaning and doing laundry in preparation to go away that I'm getting out all the spring stuff...new wreath on the front door, taking down anything that's "wintery," that kind of stuff. Those little touches are MY stamp. I want to enjoy this while I can, so I'm making the most of it! I don't know what the future holds; if I will want to or will be able to move. The kids' stability and the 5% interest rate on this mortgage are a factor, too. I am being postive about ME and where I am in the present! I will make the decision based on what's right for me and the boys...not based on what HE will think or want. Isn't that GREAT??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> me me me me me! I'm leaving at 6. I should stay off here today! I have a lot to do. I want the house clean and all the laundry caught up so I can kick back once I return Sunday night.
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I think changes to the OUTSIDE are more effective -- just for the reason you say, MIMI.
He's doing drive-bys or pick-up/drop-offs and will SEE for himself the changes.
And it will effect him particularily if the yard was his domain!
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What are your plans in Chicago?
Shopping? Clubs?
I am so jealous! I love Chicago!
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meggy: yeah...my old mini-van = the Trooper. Too bad, because we took so many fun family vacations in that mini-van and it has happy memories, too. I kind of feel bad for it...it's not the van's fault that WH desecrated it. It served me so well (and I loved that you could control the radio with the controls on the wheel)
But it's just a vehicle.
I MUCH prefer the Vibe. Fits my "almost self-actualized and d*amn proud of it" image.
Crashing the Trooper was very symbolic, wasn't it?
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HAVE FUN, SIS..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> OT: Lex..you never answered about your screen name...is it car-related???
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Mimi -- yep, bit of a car fanatic here!
Unfortunately I don't have my name sake anymore.
Lilsis -- I had one of those steering wheel radio control things too -- LOVED IT! Change channels, change volume -- how convenient!
Favorite car ever? CONVERTABLE MUSTANG.
Dream car? CONVERTABLE THUNDERBIRD (do you have one of those MIMI???? I will be soooooo jealous!!!)
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Lex: Jamming in the car Drink and eat Parade and shop Drink and eat Green river and shop Drink and eat Lush Cosmetics (never been, but one of my friends is addicted) Drink and eat You get the picture....we have no agenda...which is stretch for me that I'm LOVING!!! I'm ususally the "planner" type. The idea is that we'll figure things out on the car ride down. We're not club people. We are bar people. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The more hole in the wall, the better for drinkin'. And we are all huge talkers, and it's a very eclectic group, so sitting around a great restaurant and eating great food and drinking will be so enjoyable! We are going to Rick Bayliss' restaurant? Can't remember the name, it's something one of us wanted to do...
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OT to LEXX: I am the ULTIMATE DIVA now... I got a new LEX last weekend.... Gift from my H.. Folks say I deserve it... WHAT CHA THINK??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Live by your convictions & as you are led. Trust your own gut logic.
U do as U need too.
Maybe today is not the right day to dredge this all up.
Flooding. Too much.
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I'm outta here!! I will not get on here...too much to do...and you guys are too fun to talk to. Quit distracting me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ((((everyone))))
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MIMI !!! Most definitely deserved!
Enjoy!
Hole in the wall / little neighborhood bar -- MOST PERFECT PLACE!!
My GF's and I choose places where we can actually TALK to each other and not have to yell over loud music. And laugh until it HURTS!
Start a new tradition! Buy everyone Green Hats!! Or Green Beads!!
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OMG, and why is it you can't sell the house???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I know...I don't go there. It makes me ill, so I choose not to think about it. However, I sort of feel like it's me staking my claim...they WILL NOT drive me from my HOME! H and I put blood, sweat and tears into rehabbing this house (built in 1912); my dad and H refinished all the floors downstairs; we removed layers of wallpaper. If I left, WH/RT would win...WH has said that if I leave, he wants the house. This is MY home (and was H's)...WH will live here over my dead body. Does that make any sense? BESIDES: I can't sell anything now...the D's in play!!!! This is NOT an OPTION, right now. i did misinterpret your other post. whatever you do, DO NOT sell out to him....them. YUK! i was under the impression that H was quite vested in your home.....i have been popping in and out quickly these days.....jumping to wrong conclusions. sorry. have a very wonderful week-end!
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I MUCH prefer the Vibe. Fits my "almost self-actualized and d*amn proud of it" image. You go girl with your sassy Vibe! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Crashing the Trooper was very symbolic, wasn't it? Yeah, no kidding. Not one tear shed for that THING. I hated it because it became a "status" symbol to FWH. It was brand new and top of the line. OW was high up in local society with lots of rich friends... bleh... and FWH pretended to be what he wasn't. I remember thinkin' what's he going to say now that he can't immediately replace it with something better? Just like he couldn't replace ME with something better! I WAS the best! LOL
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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We are going to Rick Bayliss' restaurant? Can't remember the name, it's something one of us wanted to do Frontera Grill... I think. Have a great weekend. Stay safe.
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And just my opinion... but if she was in your house and the did things in there... well, I would say you can stay there IF he doesn't come back... but I would NEVER live there with him again if I were in your shoes. And his doing that while your kids were in bed is just plain sick IMO.
Sorry for the sidetrack... now go enjoy your weekend.
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... but I would NEVER live there with him again if I were in your shoes. And his doing that while your kids were in bed is just plain sick IMO. I AGREE WITH YOU, MEDC!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ETA: Bad Feng Shui...
Last edited by mimi1254; 03/16/07 12:52 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Hi/bye Sis, hope you have a wonderful time. I would be in the "sell" camp regarding the house, but understand why you don't want to let him/them have it. Yuk! I admire your determination to reclaim it. HOWEVER!!! If the time (most likely in R) comes that it becomes a hindrance, be prepared to sell and don't look back. You will not be any less of a person, any less of a heroine, any less of an anything, if you ultimately decide you can't heal well in that house. No matter whether you sell or not, she will NOT have won. I could never do it myself, but more power to you if you can. (I smacked a deer with the Affairmobile - it was an accident, I promise! So Meggy, your anecdote made me smile. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />) PS Mimi, of COURSE you deserve it!!!!!!!! Why didn't he get you two? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I'm BAAAACK!
Had a wonderful time. Out at the neighborhood bar until 3 on Friday, shopping all day and Frontera Grill for dinner yesterday, then up talking til about 1...only two of the six could muster up enough energy to go to the bar at 1, and they stayed out until 4.
I had cold the whole time, but didn't let it interfere with my fun!
Frontera Grill was outstanding. The green river was a sight, as were all the thousands of people milling around. We decided that shopping would be more fun that trying to see the parade, so we ended up seeing it on the TV in the bar at Marshall Fields. That worked just fine for us.
We stayed in a brownstone just north of downtown, so we walked everywhere...can you imagine walking distance to Water Tower Place, etc.??
The group was so fun...such a great mix of women...ages from 29 to 60, SAHM to college professor, HS grad to PhD, goth/artist type to soccer mom, parents, no kids, pregnant, black, white, mixed. We had soo much fun hanging out, shopping, eating, drinking and riding together.
It was very chilly, so our first stop yesterday as we were heading downtown was Filene's Basement, so we could all buy hats (only two people had them). I got the cutest little green hat that everyone commented on all day, and of course it was perfect for St. Paddy's day. Other than that, I just got a few things, so I didn't blow my budget.
Only a few pangs....this morning, it sort of hit me that I don't have anyone to "miss" except my boys. No one waiting home for me, no one missing me. No one to wish to have with me to share the experience.
As we were driving out of town, we passed Field Museum and Science and Industry, which WH, the boys and I had visited over spring break four years ago. It made me sad, remembering our stay in Chicago then.
After we got back to town, I still had to drive and hour to pick the boys up at my mom's, where they had stayed for the weekend. The boys fell asleep in the car on the hour ride back home, and I started crying again, just missing my life when I was so much more innocent; when everything seemed easier, when I still trusted. Just missing my H, and knowing that the fantasy of being away was over, and now my real life has to begin again.
Grieving.
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[b] [color:"green"]sounds like you had a fun time <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> [/color]
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