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#1839042 03/07/07 02:07 PM
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qetuo Offline OP
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Recovery is at a point I need to get to the bottom of "Why I had an affair". Could someone point me in the direction of info. on this topic. I want to be sure to cover all the bases, as completely as possible, for both DH and myself. Very important to both of us I really get a good understanding of my thoughts at the time and changes I must make to NEVER be fogged out again. I believe this may even help me more than him!!


FWW- ME 45 BS- DH 49 DD 25/23 DS19 D-DAY SEPT 4, 2006
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I just bumped a thread for you by kyellow4 called "own your own affair". Good place for you to start.


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me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
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In addition to the other advice already given, I would advise you find the book “Not Just Friends” by the late Dr Shirley Glass. This should be very helpful.

I wish my WW and I had read it a year ago and life could well be very different.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Kudos to you for sticking your neck out and asking for help!


"If you want a good wife, then you have to be a good husband." BS-38 (me) WH-34 0 kids Together 3 1/2 years Married almost one year before DDay WH EA 9/06 DDay 11/06 Plan A 1/07 WH asked for LSA 2/07 Plan B 03/07 LSA effective 3/07 H moved out 3/07
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Yes, if able, read Shirley Glass's book, "Not Just Friends."

If you are hesitant to buy the book (or check it out at the library), this link may help:

Shirley Glass on Affairs

~Marie

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Qetuo,

Here is a good thread on the topic that might help you and your H get further insight and understanding in your behavior at the time.

This thread is also good and explains all the steps of betrayal & unfaithfulness that lead up towards final betrayal & adultery. As explained by the author on this thread, adultery is usually the culminating act of a dozen or more tiny steps of unfaithfulness. Each step in itself does not seem that serious or much beyond the previous step. Satan draws a person into adultery one tiny step at a time. And he does this over time so that our conscience is gradually seared. This makes it easier to take "just one more step" thinking such a tiny step won't hurt us.

This thread gives insight into emotional infidelity and provides guidelines on how to help affair-proof & protect your marriage and keep temptations at “arms length” by keeping up healthy boundaries with the opposite sex.


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