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How do you feel about this?
What was your response?
What is your next step? I guess I feel pretty good about this. My response was letting her know how much I appreciated her sharing her feelings with me. I'm not sure about a next step.
Last edited by RockSolid; 07/14/07 11:00 PM.
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Post deleted by RockSolid
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Your FWW is obviously suffering from depression. Unless she gets treatment for it, things won't improve in your marriage. Dr. Harley always states that the depression should be addressed before the marital problems (just like addictions and affairs). The trick is actually getting your FWW to seek treatment. Most people suffering from depression don't want treatment.
Is your FWW currently receiving treatment for depression? If so I would switch her medication of up her dose. If not, I would suggest dropping most of the R/M talk for now and trying to gently nudge her toward seeking treatment. If she still refuses, maybe you could get some family member on your side and stage a sort of intervention. I don't know, I'm just throwing ideas out there.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Thanks jmwc, I appreciate any responses. My FWW has been on ADs for about 10 years now. I am trying to encourage her to go back to update her meds situation.
Thanks again for your ideas.
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Another thing that I have been dealing with is my obsession with OM. I constantly am researchingthings on OM2 and OM3.
I can't help but feel defeated and sucha loser. The way these jerks just waltzed into my life, got what they wanted and walked away unscathed.
I just feel like they won and I lost.
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Well, just an update. I told you that my FWW told me that if I went to see the dr about some AD. that she would go and see our dr to maybe get her meds adjusted. I went. My wife came through too. The doctor told her that she has been on her AD so long that she now referred her to a professional. mrsrock went for a psychiatrict evaluation and started a week long mental health course. From there she will most likely get some IC and we will probably do some MC. I am so happy and proud of her that she is doing this. It is a great step in the right direction. I just wanted to share the good news. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Terrific news, Rock.
I see that as solid self-care on MrsRock's part. Learning how to care for ourselves in healthy ways...well, it's downright life changing!!
About your obsessive thoughts...which then hand you those feeling-like-a-jerk feelings...have you found the payoff in them yet? Until you do, then you won't choose to switch them off...to retrain your brain.
Thank you for sharing both posts, Rock...your stuff on the inside and news on the outside. Way to go.
And I like the POJA part of the you go and do some self-care at the doc's...and she will...partners trailblaze for each other. You are both strong partners...please know this.
Dancing with delight for you both!
LA
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Thanks LA.
We had a nice discussion (man that's hard with a 5 year old around) tonight. She shared with me things that they talked about and did in her therapy sessions. She wanted to know if I was in favor of some MC. I told her of course!
Like you said though, right now my biggest obstacle is my obsessive thoughts.
I think a lot of it is because I am going through some one year anniversaries of some really crappy events.
I am still trying to get myself to go to an Alonon. My doctor gave me a schedule of some local meetings. I really have no excuse. I guess it's my turn to show her that I will help "blaze the trail".
This is good. I am so happy that we are really starting to work on things.
Thanks for your ongoing support LA. It means so much to me.
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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What good news, Rock, and kuddos to Mrs. Rock!!
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