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You could always ask your attorney to request a continuance on the basis of your health? a conflict on that day? a family emergency? etc? When he does that the court clerk will assign a new court date further down the road. Your attorney will have to ask his attorney and they can AGREE to a continuance. If not, your attorney can still request one from the court and the court will decide. Most of the time they will do it.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Still:

Sorry you are in such a bad place right now. Try meggy's suggestion. No need to make this thing happen if there's a way you can delay it any longer.

Thought of you yesterday at Mass. The homily was about faith, hope and charity. This from a priest who ordinarily isn't all that inspiring, if you know what I mean...let's face it, some are better than others.

Anyway....I thought maybe God was speaking to me, but I wasn't sure what he was saying?

Hope that my marriage will recover? Faith that God has a plan for me in which a recovered marriage is not a part? Charity in that my expectations of others can be lowered?

And THEN...to top it off, the offeratory hymn was "Be Not Afraid."

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know...as I often think of you during Mass...

You are in my thoughts.

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LilSis,

Thanks for thinking of me at church yesterday. I wasn't able to go to Mass this weekend because I worked. Going to go Wednsday morning.

I wonder if there is theme to the homily? WH went with DS to Mass yesterday. Maybe something sank in. I can only pray that God enters his heart.

I cry at the song Be Not Afraid.... I go before you always come follow me and I will give you hope (life).

I admire how well you are doing in your plan B.

It's hard when we don't kow what God is trying to tell us... as we don't know how to listen. When I taked with pastor I told him I wish God talked to us more clearly.... he joked about the "red phone" to heaven.

All I know is I feel like I'm always talking to God.... about everyone here, about my kids, WH and most of all the healing of my marriage.

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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Getting courage up to call my attorney to see if we can stall some more.

Didn't have a chance yesterday plus WH e-mailed to wait til we could discuss it. Because nothing had changed. Needless to say no e-mails from WH to discuss. I guess I just needed this to get my reslove, and was still kind of holding out hope. Still have hope but I need to keep it on God's hands and not keep taking it back.

Plus I need to heal me like CJ said because regardless what happens I need to be stronger even if WH comes back.

I'm also going to talk with Pastor today or tomorrow and let him kow to do what he needs to do about softball because A is still going on and WH wasn't receptive to talking with a third party present. I was so hoping that his going back to church was for the right reasons. And maybe they are but it appears it's just for softball.

Today didn't start out the best... was looking for water pump down in our garage to pump water off the top of the pool and stepped on a nail. Went right throu my flip flop. Didn't really hurt at that point all I wanted was my H to be there to comfort me and help take care of it like he should be.
Seeing the doctor this afternoon. Going to go outside and do some yardwork while I wait for the pool guy.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
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Quote
Going to go outside and do some yardwork while I wait for the pool guy.


Dear Penthouse Forum........


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Thanks for the laugh....almost cleaned my screen with coffee.

I can only fantasize about that right now.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
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I gotcha even worse on Rin's thread. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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I'll have to check it out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
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Still,

Just stopping by to ck on you

Doing ok?


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs,

I ahve been up and down the last couple of days. What's new right?

Trying hard not to hide from the world like I really want to do.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
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Posts: 1,115
((((Cajun Bear Hug))))

All better? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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BC,

Those cajun bear hugs are wonderful....thanks.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,155
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Don't hide. Being alone in the dark--as easy as it is to do--is not good for you.

Get out and do something with other people. Don't be shy about inviting yourself somewhere with friends. Force yourself. Even if your gut still has this little rock in in, at least it won't be a boulder.

Are you still on ADs?

Ahhhh, Still. I'm so sorry...I wish there were a magic bullet.

(((((still)))))

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Thanks LilSis.

Yeah I know it doesn't sound it but I am on AD's. I am pushing myself out.

I did have IC this morningand went to breakfast with a friend I haven't talked to in awhile who was very insightful about my WH. She has know us (me and WH) for a long time, we have vacationed together several times. She mentioned to me this morning that WH hasn't looked within himself since the 1st affair. She had talked to him after first A and told him she was suffering from depression (this was all just coming out) and she thought he was also.
Also told me to get out and take a class or something to meet new people. That my H has several issues that he may need to work out before he can be "good" for anyone. She also reminded me how near the end he was treating me very rudely in front of everyone. Things that are very easily put away because we want something else so bad.

This morning at IC I tols her that I am at peace but feel uncomfortable being there if that makes any sense? Almost like the hurt and pain hvae become so much a part of me.

Today I am at peace but still want to hide, if that makes sense. I'm so tired all teh time because i can't really sleep. This is all in God's hands... I still have a little hope. If this isn't meant to be and God wills it then maybe I shouldn't cahnge the dat from the 7th? Because maybe the case before us will not get settled? And give me more time. I don't know if you ever do little bargains with God? You know the type of thing if this happens we will get back together? Never happened when I have done that previously for other things and this before.

Well there have been a few things that have happened I'm almost afraid to write them down. But here goes,

Remember there was a young boy lost in the mountains for a couple of days earlier this year. And his step dad dropped everything and after a few days they didn't think they would find him alive? I played one of my if they find this boy alive my M is going to work out. They found him alive.

My DD plays on JV softball and has been passed over getting called up last year and so far this year. It wasn't looking very promising. I did my little game if DD gets called up to V my M will work out. Yesterday she was called up for V.

Is this just my mind wanting to think God is speaking to me? I mean I have played this little game previously and have never been ""on". I'm losing my mind aren't I?

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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Posts: 2,155
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I don't think you are losing your mind, still. That kind of thing happens t me, too. Every once in a while I'll be thinking about something, and a song comes on the radio that seems to have significance to just what I was thinking about.

Or last night I was flipping through and saw a PBS show on about lighthouses (remember my old lighthouse connection?). One of the NPS rangers they interviewed was one that had led us all on a ranger tour once back five or six years ago.

And I chide myself for even thinking for just a second that it's a "sign." Not that it helps you any, but at least if we are crazy, we are crazy together!

I do think you sound depressed, though. And it could just be because of the impending date...more situational than anything.

Question: If you are uncomfortable, how can you be at peace? Maybe you need to give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable? No point in trying to rush the peace along (not that I'm not trying my very best to do so...no luck, either).

You'll feel what you feel. You are working on yourself, doing everything right...you'll get there.

Be good to yourself.

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I do think alot of it has to do with the impending date.

Talked again with my pastor I can't remember if I had mentioned he wanted me to extend an offer to talk with a third party present to WH. WH didn't reject it outright but didn't like thre phrase that I would feel safer so emotions won't escalate. Since the date is coming fast pastor wants me to specifically ask if he will take 30 minutes and meet with him and me. His feeling is we went into this as a promise before God and he feels he may be helpful.

So will try this tonight and we'll see if he refuses then pastor will talk to him about things.

Two weeks from today I could be divorced!

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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Just found out WH is in the ER.

Went in with some resporitory type symptoms and chest tightness. They think it might be cardiac in nature. His BP was 160/100.

They are doing tests. Maybe a different kind of break as a sign????

Hope he's okay.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
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Still,

How did you find out about this?


How are you REALLY feeling?


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs,

He called me.... I e-mailed him earlier if we could talk because of my discussion with pastor. And he called when DS left a message for him e was done his homework. DD boyfriend ended up bringing DS to WH place.

I guess at the moment I'm out of plan B.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Posts: 5,463
Still,

I know that it will be difficult but try to picture a glass wall in front of you to protect yourself...detachment...I hope that he is okay...

Wishing you the best...let us know...will be thinking of you and the family...


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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