Sorry guys.....

I enjoyed the definitions of exit affairs.... had me lol.

One of my friends was having a crisis and that had to take precidence sorry.

Basically Steve also agreed that it was a good sign that at the last minute he was having second thoughts. But he still feels he has a long way to go.

He mentioned asking him what would make him the happiest.... wouldn't he be happiest if he could be happy with the mother of his children, And how would he make that happen. He needs to change his belief system. To enocurage him to talk to this guy that has alot of experience with people in our situation with no strings... no expectations or false hope on my part.

He feels right now WH doesn't think that is a possibility because he doesn't have the tools or a road map to show him the way. How WH feels hopelessness about our relationship and if there is no hope he can't ever see himself being happy with me.

He feels if WH can see there is a path to get to happiness with me that if we use the tools of filling each others EN and not to lovebust he would almost garentee that he wouldn't have another affair. Because he would have the tools. That it still would be a lot of hard work but we would eb able to see the benefits.

He also agreed that affairs are affairs... no need to label it an exit affair.

So now I have to write down what I'm going to say and practice this and pray like mad that WH will take 45 minutes and talk to Steve.

Still

Still,

Ditto to my session as well!

The way I look at it is that it is good that it is the same. As we have learned here, the minds of most WSs ARE the same

The Tools to Recovery are the Same.

And we have seen here that they can and do work!

Sending those prayers and good thoughts your way that WH says yes!

I,too, practiced the 'request' before I laid it on Drac. Funny thing was, the 'oppprtunity' to do it was NOT at all when/how I expected it

I just felt it all of a sudden that it was the Right moment to put it out there

Be ready for that!

There is hope! Remember just a few short days ago, you thought the D was a done deal

Baby, it ain't over til the fat lady sings!!

Buugs,

You are so right .... and this fat lady right here is not ready to sing. Not yet anyway.

I'm going to sleep and really think about how to put it in my own words. I think this is a good time since we are suppose to talk soon about things. I really fel like Steve could help him if only he would let him.

It's back to praying for WH to break and it's still in God's hand I'm just going to give a little push. Maybe this is what God wants me to do.

Bugs I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and your WH while I'm at work. I'll check in. I'm with you that I would really want to know what he thought. Steve had mentioned to me while I'm giving the info to add and you can tell me what you think?

Still

Glad you checked in, still, an glad that you heard what you needed to hear! Thanks for sharing what Steve told you.

Hope all goes well getting WH to agree. God can work wonders; seems to me that he's starting to work a few on your behalf!

Hope your friend is better.

MY friend is going through this same [email]S@@t[/email] that we are all in.

I directed her to read here and get info. She also is having a hard time letting go... it's sortof funny but we break at different times so that we help each other get through our rough spots.

Hopefully we never break at the same time or there may be a flood in our small towm <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Still

Just wanted to update a little.

Through e-mail yesterday WH did agree that we could meet and talk. I told him that I would like to do it face to face. That I may need a hug after.

This got him concerned that Iw as having a health issue... or that I have "done something". I told him no health issue and that I really wanted to wait till we could discuss it. He told me he would... now the waiting begins. You would think I would be really good at this.

Trying really hard not to think about who he is with tonight. I did TM him earlier that I hope he was having a good day and he TM me back U 2. Small steps.... it's something he may have ignored in the past.

STILL

We took a tour this afternoon at the local Hawaiian Plantation down the street from our house. Imagine that..... I lived in this town for over 2 years and never been to this little historical spot. H wanted t/d something as a family and well this was his choice. It was very culturally educational. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Anyway the guide pointed out a tree during the tour..... he called it the 'b still' tree. Guess who I thought about. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What I wanted to tell you is not t/b anxious. The WS' often can't handle much and most of us as BS' find it hard to hold back once we have their attention.

So chill a bit, sit back, practice your deep cleansing breathes and calm that heart down. Remember your clear mind and calm heart. You will need it. Oh yea.....lots of patience.

Keep a glass of ice tea or cold water near by with a straw..... it will help you display a calm demeanor. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

Orchid,

Someday maybe I will go to Hawaii and see the B still tree. Always been a dream of mine to go for our 25th....

All I know is before I speak with WH I will pray to God to give me the right words to say. This is still in his hands and only HE knows the outcome.

Thanks for your kind words I will most definately use that advice... although I wish it could be somthing stronger than ice tea... but wine could make me more emotional and I can't do that.

Still

Last night I kind of fell apart. Cried while WH was here. I just miss him so much.

Tonight we may have our "talk" at DS hockey game. I just got to remember this is in God's hands and stop trying to take it back from Him. Stubborn I know.

So today I will prepare myself to ask him if he would do one thing for me to help me get over this. And I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up. If it is meant to be it will happen.

I need some prayers guys.

Still

I got you covered on some prayers...looks like we were in the same boat...felling apart...LMAO...

Pray for guidance and the strenght to do God's will...then your mouth will follow! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Rin,

I am falling apart... I just want my M so badly. And deep down I really think it may work. Almost afraid to write that.

Still

Here's my hand...helping you up...picking up the pieces...helping you sort through them...arranging them...rearranging them...and helping you put them back in place...

You don't pull yourself together and it's not going to be a good thing...think about how you will appear to him...????

Would that be the old Still or the new one?

Thanks for the hand.

You are right it would be the old Still. I'm really scared that he will refuse to talk to Steve.

I know I have no control over that.

Still

It will be okay! Tell him that it would really help you deal with your issues about this D...

See if that helps...you would also be meeting a need for him...YOU still need him...

just a thought!

Keep smiling...and that was sooo cute...don't but a cat! LMAO

I thought you might like the e-mail.... I thought it was going to be a man.

Then again cats are much more independant.

Still

{{Still}},

Remember your journey, remember your growth!

Hold fast to the independence and strength you have earned for yourself!

You ARE stronger, better, faster (line from the 6 million dollar man).

You are the New Still, the Goddess. Not the clingy, needy old Still.

You Can ask WH to talk to Steve and you Will be successful. Name it and claim it girl!

Do not envision defeat before you have even stepped on the battlefield.

Bugs,

Thanks so much that is what I needed right now. I'm hoping WH calls tonight when DS goes to bed, It may be late because just getting back from his first HS hockey game.

If he doesn't call I may just put it all in an e-mail or do you guys think it would still be better to talk about it?

Still

If he doesn't call, he doesn't call. E-mail only what you need. Don't feed the WS. It causes them to puke and you don't want t/b covered in WS puke....their toxic. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

L.

Orchid,

He texted me DS has a friend sleeping over... boys are still up.

I'll talk to him tomorrow. If tomorrow doesn't happen then I will e-mail him.

I don't want to be covered in ws puke...yuck

As you can see having trouble sleeping tonight.

Still

B-safe. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.