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ForeverHers,
I don't appreciate you twisting my words or deliberately misinterpreting Secular Humanism in order to promote your own religious agenda. Get this through your head: I am NOT converting! tsk, tsk, Aphaeresis. I don't care if you convert to anything. I do care that if you want to make Secular Humanism your "lord," that you at least live by the tenets of Secular Humanism. You are not as of yet and it remains to be seen if you will. That you feel good in getting angry and trying to put words in my mouth is just another way for you to deflect doing what you claim to believe in. You came here seeking advice on how to save your marriage from your actions that killed it. And about all you've been doing since then is finding things to disagree with and openly "fighting" with others and making excuses. There have been occasional glimmers that maybe you are beginning to take full responsibility for your actions, but they quickly get buried under your need to defend yourself. Time WILL tell, but the clock is ticking.
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Mrs. W and BK.... thanks for the follow up. Your unwavering committment to not only MB ideals but also integrity and morality shows that FWS and BS alike can have a common goal of just doing the right thing.-MEDC You are welcome for the backup MEDC, and thank you very much for the compliment...I was so glad to see that you were "on the case" after I read Mr. G's fog babble... Mr G's advice smacks of .. "do what is right for me and damn everyone else." It's sad to see that and really is nothing more than enabling fuzzy WS thinking.-MEDC I totally agree with you here MEDC...My mouth is left agape when I read his stuff on this thread...Interesting that he won't even give his "status" around here-BS/fWS...That is very telling, IMO...AND NO MR. G, IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE THE "BIGGER" PERSON WHO IS "ABOVE IT ALL" and I know that is what you think...It makes you look like a foggy, selfish, moral coward that cares for NO ONE but SELF... Notice how quick Aph was willing to jump at the solution which conrinues to allow her to act in a self centered way.-MEDC That is the very same thing that I said to Mr. W about this before Aph even posted...I KNEW IT, and I'll bet that you did too...What Aph doesn't realize is though that may seem the easy road right now, it won't be in the long run, not where it counts anyway...and she will be STUCK and remain in a WS mindset until she does the RIGHT thing... I have long ago adopted philosophy of “take no offence, offer no defense” that has served me well. -Mr. G Pretty hard to defend the indefensible Mr. G, which is why you don't bother... Personally, I believe Aph would be a FOOL to listen to what you are advising her to do here...ESPECIALLY since you won't even reveal whether you are a BS or fWS...I believe it is important to know the vantage point of someone before I take their advice...I wouldn't just go up to someone in the street and ask for the medical opinion if I didn't KNOW that they were a doctor...Aph should disregard your advice, IT WILL NOT SERVE anyone involved well, INCLUDING her own marriage...Who in the world would not want a spouse with morals and integrity afterall? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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not to beat a dead horse here... But I wouldn't be surprised if Mr G is an active WS based on his logic...
and frankly, I don't know that I would trust anything out of the mouth of a person that is advocating injuring a BS.
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Mr. Goodstuff's first post Although I do agree with you MEDC and a lot can happen in 2.5 years.
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Thanks for posting that Pio...Now we know...You can BET that Mr. G and his wife did NOT inform the other BSs involved in her 4 affairs (whoops scratch that, after reading more of that thread, make that EIGHTEEN affairs-YIKES)...I get it, his posts are an attempt to ease his own guilty conscience-misery loves company...Figures...
Mrs. W
Last edited by MrsWondering; 06/27/07 11:49 AM.
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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The real implications are much larger. At this point where you have yet to disclose your affairs to your husband, it may perhaps be premature to address issues of your integrity and honesty with respect to the other men and their wives.
I suggest that a best thing that you can do for yourself and your husband to “close the book” on your past actions subject only to his inquires. If you never hear nor see any sight of them again then that will be healthy for you and your husband. I really see little value to you and your husband to make any further contact with the OMen or their wives. Stick with NO CONTACT, none, nothing, no emails, no phone calls, no nothing. Do whatever you must to make their contact with you impossible. I vehemently disagree. All those women (wives) deserve the truth about their husbands. And Aph owes that to them as the active particpant in her adulterous affairs with them. Mr. Goodstuff, I'm not sure what you consider "integrity and honest" when you advise someone to hide the truth, a truth where if not known could damage the remainder of someone's life and marriage. Omission of the truth IS A LIE. Those wives deserve the truth so they can make decisons BASED ON THE TRUTH as opposed to the facade and lie they are unknowingly living now. Jo
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Weeeelll...
I'm looking through his posts. He did take a very particular interest in Dorry at one point.
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This is an interesting thread. I have no interest in the OP or her posts. But it is interesting to watch the remainder. It is a classic study in group think. Some of you remain absolutely consistent. I have gained a renewed lack of respect for others.
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This is an interesting thread. I have no interest in the OP or her posts. But it is interesting to watch the remainder. It is a classic study in group think. Some of you remain absolutely consistent. I have gained a renewed lack of respect for others. Name names. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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From Mr. G's first thread. Now he is advocating doing the same thing to other BS's and having them live a lie. I am looking at his entire first thread as suspect now. I don't know how anyone that has been victimized by at least 18 affairs can advocate a BS not being told the truth. Something is fishy here. I probed a little deeper and found out that the last 11 years of my marriage a lie and not just the last four years like I thought AND THIS FROM HIS WIFE I felt that I had told him enough when I first told him of my most recent affair. I told him that I am willing to seek professional help, but what is driving me away from him, he just won't stop searching through my past. He needs to let go of the past and we need to start to move forward with repairs. I feel that he is making it easy for me to leave because for each day we take a step forward the next day is a step back. Since I first told him about my history we have had wonderful days. I know and expect from reading letters on this website and from my first affair that I will go through some depression and it will be hard to give up the circle of friends that I have met. I have to wonder if it would be easier to live on my own then to deal with this emotional pain eveyday. He promised me that he would stop looking into my past but he just keeps digging so how can I trust him to help me Imagine Mr G if one of those men your wife was screwing had some integrity and let you know what happened. She could have stopped at 5, 10, 15 men!
Last edited by mkeverydaycnt; 06/27/07 11:54 AM.
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Mr. <cough> <cough> Good Stuff wrote:
The discussion of the merits to disclose to the wives of your affair partners would likely help benefit their marriages. Whether or not it will benefit their marriages or lives is none of her damn business. Just like her having sex with those MARRIED MEN was none of her business.
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Look you all, it's not a matter of either/or but when. So there's no point in fighting.
The fact is, my husband needs a job before I can reveal anything to him. If I reveal to the OWs before my own husband, someone else will tell him first. That would be utterly stupid on my part. He needs to hear it from me.
When engaging in a complicated, difficult task the first thing you do is break it up into parts and deal with one thing at a time. Mr. G is right that I need to focus on my husband first. After that revelation is out of the way, then we can talk about how to contact the other wives and how to tell them. No sense in trying to give me piloting lessons before I learn how to walk.
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Did you ever see the movie "Dr. Strangelove"? Remember Slim Pickens riding the nuclear bomb? That's the mental image I have here. Except Slim is the OP. I just laugh and laugh. Do something interesting. Read this thread from start to finish but do NOT read any of the OP's posts. You will see exactly what I am talking about. Resilient, I'm off to the garage. Oh, and I DO so hate to agree with MEDC. Not sure how to deal with that... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Oh, and I DO so hate to agree with MEDC. Not sure how to deal with that...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You and MEDC should call Steve Harley together! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Oh, and I DO so hate to agree with MEDC. Not sure how to deal with that...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You and MEDC should call Steve Harley together! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Mrs. W <raises hand> Can I please listen in?
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so now the repeat performer WS Aph who hasn't done ONE thing (besides talk) towards recovery is now going to inform the board as to her very learned concepts on how to survive an affair. WOW... I guess we all had it wrong here....all along we should have been paying attention to a WS that has had an untold number of affair partners and who continues to display fuzzy thinking.
Aph... at this point in time... the ONLY advice you are capable of giving is how to best betray your H and screw up your marriage..... as well as other marriages too. If I need advice about sex with strangers, sex with no committment or how to deflect blame... you are the go to person. For now... you really should try and listen more and speak less.
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Look you all, it's not a matter of either/or but when. I agree with you that it is not an either/or...I am breathing a sigh of relief if this does mean that you ARE going to expose to the OM's wives...Is that what it means? The fact is, my husband needs a job before I can reveal anything to him. WTF??? When did the job thing come in to play? First it was that you needed to wait til you were together, now it's til he gets a job??? I call bullchit...There will NEVER be a "good time" Aph...YOU MUST TELL HIM ANYWAY...I agree with FH here, the clock is ticking... Mrs. W
Last edited by MrsWondering; 06/27/07 12:25 PM.
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Oh, and I DO so hate to agree with MEDC. Not sure how to deal with that...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You and MEDC should call Steve Harley together! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Mrs. W <raises hand> Can I please listen in? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Pio.... how to deal with it is to just finaly realize that I have been right all along and you are just catching up to that reality! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Aph wrote:
The fact is, my husband needs a job before I can reveal anything to him. I agree with Mrs W. WTF? Aph, do we need to revisit [color:"blue"]Working on One Self - Lesson Two[/color]? Jo
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