I disagree with this statement. Having certain portions of information hidden from you with the intention of you not factoring it in seems to be a victim situation. And you chose, right? But you chose from not all info pertinent to the situation.
Then we will agree to disagree.
You may be uninformed but you are not a victim.
But again I don't like the whole "VICTIM" mentality.
Odd thing is, victim status really doesn’t get you anything
Nope not really.. Again though why would you want to be a victim?
What does being a victim entitle you to?
Anyone else seems to claim it and people want to look at how they are getting hurt. I claim it and it somehow ends up being my own fault anyway. Ergo…removal of victim status. And I just end up sitting here thinking no one listens to me and what’s the point in trying to expose my feelings when no one seems interested in hearing them, but instead wants to tell me how they are all jacked up.
This is a defeatist mentality. In what way are you the victim in anything?
My wife cheated on me. As long as I sat around as a victim nothing was going to happen.
What is one of the first thigs a BS hears here.
REalize your part in the deterioration of the M before the A.
If you had filled the EN's not LB'd filled the love bank. Your FWS or WS would not have strayed.
As a BS we own Part of that therefore we cannot claim victim status.
Eat that crap sandwich when you find out your spouse was with someone else. LOL. It ain't easy. They don't even serve any condiments with that one.
Victim status will never produce anything for anybody except a miserable life.
You cannot look at the way you were harmed in every situation. You need to look at the situation as a whole and take your part.
You own your decesions wether you felt fully informed or not.
You own your choices.
Do not look for sympathy, do not look for empathy. Look for a solution to the problem that makes you feel as though you need those things.
I can empathize or sympathize with someone who lost their job because the company went bankrupt. I can't do the same for the person that lost their job because of poor performance and bad attendance.
I will give you what happened in my life.
My wife wanted to claim victim status when I got angry.
I would raise my voice or yell or call her a name. Some of those things are absolutely wrong.
I should never call my wife a name. I think I am entitled to raising my voice.
Now my wife does something/anything that she knows will upset me. Then I find out.
Somewhere along the line I yell and call her a name. (again I will fully admit I was wrong for doing that).
Now she is the victim of my cruelty. I am so mean and so horrible.
She will tell the world she was the victim. (she convienently left out I found out she spent $500 on a new purse and lied about it. or something like that.)
So now. I hardly even raise my voice. I have a lot of patience. If I get angry there is usually a reason for it.
The reason gets' lost because she is waiting for me to slip up and do something that makes her the victim.
Nothing ever gets accomplished that way.
If you want to accomplish something own what you did. Discuss that and only that. Then move forward.
When you do something wrong it is not time to discuss what she did wrong.
Discuss what she did wrong or what you don't like when it comes up.
Again in my life.
I will say I don't like that you just did that. With the hope we can discuss what happened.
Instead I will get. Well you...... Very counter productive.
I think honestly that may be what is happening in your M.