My wife and I have been married for about six months (together for about 2 years). My female friends would label me the classic "nice" guy - the kind all girls would want to marry. I am attractive, have a good job, educated, work hard around the house, etc. I cook, clean, massage, cuddle, watch girly movies, bring flowers home on many occasions, and never forget a special date. I admit that I can also be the super stereotypical male, never asking for directions, be boy-ish, etc but I always put my wife first in all occasions (I don't even watch sports:) and try all the time to make her happy. I point this out because I have been told by my female friends that sometimes women will marry that guy even though that isn't everything they really want.
In the last few months I have been getting depressed because getting sex is nearly impossible... in fact, if I initiate (or try) we will never have sex - it always has to be her to start. We have sex (if I am lucky) a little more then once a week. She has told me that she wants it once a month at the most. This was different before we got married, we would have sex every other day - it feels like I was a fad (or lured). I know that she was a sexual person before me (she was very promiscuous in college - she even admits that she was a "nymph") and I have tried to change things up - candlelight, massages, handcuffs, feathers, lotions, sex toys, anything. We are both in our mid-20's and I have told her that I needed more and asked her what I can do to turn her on. She says that I am sexy and she loves my body but I just don't believe it. She says she just doesn't want sex - she has blamed it on her birth control but she has tried several types (and even gone without) and it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I admit that I am one of those guys that really needs sex more than once a week but I'm also not asking for it everyday. I know i can't handle once a month, it scares me to think that is as much as I will get it.
In defense we always cuddle up, snuggling at night, and we do everything together - we connect EXCELLENTLY mentally & socially, which is what keeps me going. I love her more than life itself and I would do anything for her but I need more in the bedroom. Is it too much to ask her to do something that she may not completely want to make me happy? I don't know if its the same, but I always try to do stuff (outside the bedroom) to make her happy even if I don't really want to because she's worth it. I guess I am wondering if anyone has any ideas on what I can do to get her sexually motivated or willing to do something for me (like oral) to satisfy my desires in that area.
