I have read the forums for long enough to know that you can be very helpful in your advice and support but are very vocal in your feelings, very abrupt and sometimes very downright rude.

Just because I haven't posted until recently does not mean I am a new kid on the block to these forums.

I don't really care if you have issues with me not posting here until now. You could always take some of your own advice and click the little ignore button.

Excuse me for focusing on the advice side of these forums rather than the throwing the accusations and name calling around.

Yet you are here justifying abortion and trying to shut down any challengers as "unhelpful."


But you are "jumping on" on those who challenge your opinion, which you DO find helpful, strangely. In other words, it is "helpful" - in your mind - for you to justify abortion but somehow "not helpful" for others to challenge you. And yes, you have appointed yourself the "expert," the self appointed "Helpful" Monitor. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


Yet you think advocating murder IS helpful somehow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I would suggest that others are equally "entitled" to their own opinions too, even if it means challening your opinion. That little entitlement works both ways, ya know? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

As I have stated quite a few times now and it is getting rather tiresome, I am not advocating abortion. I am not saying I agree with it, I am not saying I disagree with those who do not agree with it, I am saying I do not agree with the way some people put their belief's across.

It is quite easy to turn around and say "I don't agree with abortion. I would not even consider it if I was in your situation. I am leaving this thread alone" but to come in calling someone a murdering scum bag for considering something which is not illegal, I do not agree with. My opinion again.

Just as it is your opinion I have appointed myself an expert of this matter ... which IMO is absolute rubbish. Thank you.

*****************************edit**********

why...

you are a BS that is his wife's shoes...yet strangely you come to the defense of the WS in this case...when by all accounts he hasn't done much of anything to correct his mistakes...except make excuses and suggest murder.
Sorry, your story doesn't add up. If you were in fact in his wife's shoes, you would understand how pathetic his words have been and how much of a slap in the face his actions have been. You wouldn't be so quick to enable his bad behaviors.
I don't believe your story for a minute.

So, did you pressure your h into having that baby aborted? No, that's right...you decided for the child that because his mom is a drunk that his life isn't really worth living.

*********

What is it with *******who register and on Day 1 start doling out advice, with absolutely no history, nitpicking those who have been here doing the heavy lifting for years? These************edit*********have all suddenly arrived at the same time.

Where are ******coming from? What brings you here, confused70?

These are your own words...taken from page 2 of this thread....
where did you get that he is "wanting to provide for the baby???"
Where do you get that he has "all the good intentions in the world?"


No, you're not advocating abortion on the OC...not at all.

You can call me all you want dear, it seems to be the only way you can get your point across at the moment, with name calling.

So all WS's are scum, who never ever try to put things right, are only considering their own feelings and don't deserve advice?

Why is this forum or even website here then? I thought it was here to help people put things right. To help them overcome their mistakes and betrayals. Just because I can voice when I think a WS is at least putting a foot in the right direction to make their marriage work (I am not talking about the baby/abortion things going on as well) that means I am a troll and can't possibly be a BS?

Pur-lease. Give me a break.

And no I didn't push for my H to get the OW to abort this baby. I also never said the baby's Mum was a drunk, I said she wanted cash to pay to go out drinking with her mates.

Maybe thats why forums like this are no good. People can make incorrect accusations. Maybe it's better for people to stick to counseling face to face.

and Confused....***************....

I will ask you a question that you ignored previously...

if your H's child is being neglected and so poorly cared for by the OW in your situation....are you guys FIGHTING every single day to win custody of that child? Does your husband spend his time, money and resources making sure that baby is well cared for? Does he devote his efforts to ensure the child's saftey?

What on earth are you on about? When have I said I think Luis wants to provide for the child and do what is best? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

When I am saying I think Luis has good intentions, I am saying with regards to his wife and his marriage. He doesn't even know if there is in fact an OC. Until this is proved and there is no doubt he is the father, he doesn't have to deal with that IMO. Sorry.

all she cares about is getting money for drinking.... sounds like a drunk to me...

and you and your H sit back and do nothing for that child except write a check.

So where in the rules does it state someone has to have been posting here giving out love and hugs or going on about their situation before they can offer advice?

I am not a troll.

I came here because my H had a ONS. I cam here for advice and found another website which deals with my situation better, the situation of the OC being involved but kept reading here following another posters story and looking for advice occasionally.

I was then shocked by someone calling someone *********and decided to post. If that makes me ******... so be it.

I quoted you...read your own words.

Of course you are. You rationalized it by saying the child would have no quality of life. That is a pro-abortion bumper sticker. I don't blame you for backpeddlng now, because it is an indefensible argument.


And others don't agree with your ideas or the way you put your beliefs across. They are entitled to challenge you. Entitlement works BOTH ways. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



In other words, it is ok for YOU to express your opinion but not ok for others to express theirs. And I will again point out how warped it is condemn name calling rather than abortion. It is too bad you don't condemn abortion with the same zeal.



But .......is it true?

if your H's child is being neglected and so poorly cared for by the OW in your situation....are you guys FIGHTING every single day to win custody of that child? Does your husband spend his time, money and resources making sure that baby is well cared for? Does he devote his efforts to ensure the child's saftey?

My situation is of no concern to you. I haven't posted it on here so it is not up for debate.

I never said my H's child was neglected, again you came to that assumption by reading into my post too much.

Plus you are making to apparent to me that really do not have a clue when it comes to this kind of situation (not a straightforward affair, involving COM). It is not as simple as that OC is the most important factor in the world. If it was then there would just be even more broken marriages, with even more children in broken homes.

And I am shocked that someone would come to a forum and on the first day start doling out advice to a newcomer about a program which they know nothing about and condemning other posters. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

you answered my question with your double speak.

your H thinks his responsibility ends with writing a check. you pressure him into having no relationship with his child and make vague references to her parenting ability...now back peddle. When you say that a child is used for nothing more than cash for drinking...and to harass you...that screams neglect and the need for an advocate for the child.

You have answered my questions loud and clear.

So where does the pro-choice come into all of this???

I wouldn't have an abortion myself (I would say now) but I do not think people who consider it should be called murdering scum bags and thrown down a deep dark hole hidden from society.

And I am really fed up of going around and round in circles here. People are entitled to their own opinions, but ultimately I do not believe that it it right to be agressive and just plain rude in getting those opinions across.

I don't think I've been rude in trying to get mine across, same as I don't think you have MelodyLane. I don't even know why this is still going on.

This thread is about Luis's situation, not about whether abortion is right or not, like I stated a couple of pages ago.

How do you come to the conclusion that I know nothing about the programme on this site? I have said I came to this site for advice, which I got, found another website which dealt better on their forums with my situation but came back here following the advice in the programme and reading other's situations.

Just because in my first few posts I decided to pass my opinion on how another person was dealing with their situation does not mean that I haven't read into this one little bit.

Luis's situation INVOLVES ABORTION SO IT IS GERMAINE TO THE DISCUSSION.

And you are intentionally mis-characterizing the points being made because your view lacked intellectual and factual credibility.