I thought I saw a somthing you said in one of you're post... maybe the carrot and the stick...

Somthing about a lighthouse... and that you should be the light at the end of the tunnel...

I have a counseling session scheduled with Jennifer tonight...

Hopefully she can give me some advice on what to do...

After talking to my SD this weekend... I found out that the cozy couple has already had a fight... the reality is already setting in for WW...And I haven't even done anything yet...

I had my counseling with Jennifer. After talking to her here’s what we decided to do…

I’m not going to expose yet…I’m supposed to give her an attractive alternative to this guy…Give her a reason to come back…

I’m supposed to start righting letters to her… Jennifer is going to look at the first few…

She said the letters have to have HEART … PASSION…

The other thing that I’m supposed to do is come up with three sheets….

One for “Why am I doing this”

One for Her Needs…

One for my love busters…

Comments???

Comments:

Be the lighthouse!

The love you have in your heart is obvious to us here ... so shine that light ( as per Jennifer )

LETTERS can be read - re read - and re re read .... LETTERS can ~be there~ with your wife when you cannot ( Yeah Jennifer ! )

Now go do your homework AmazingSailor !

lmao...

You make me smile Pepper...

I've been waiting to hear from you...

SD's dad called me today... WOW...

He's never talked to me...

If he called the house and I answerd he would hang up...

He said she did the same thing to him...TWICE with two differnt men just like I said... He said SD called him crying... mom is never home... He called my WW and the OM answered her phone... He said the guy threatend to beat him to death...

I felt real akward talkin to him... was kinda strange...

Amazing
( Tyler / R. Supa )

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
And tryin' to walk through the pain

When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah I thought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door... heh ha
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I... would die

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
Oh... It's amazing
A when the moment arrives
That' ya know you'll be alright
Yeah... It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a permanent vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow bring... yeah
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk... oh yeah
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay... alive

It's amazing
A with a blink of an eye
You finally see the light
Oh... it's amazing
A when the moment arrives
That'choo know you'll be alright
Oh... it's amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight
The desperate hearts
Desperate hearts
Really wanna see what I can give what I got
Oh oh no
Wha na naa na na naaaa..... ooohhhha yeah.....

So... from all of us in Aerosmith
To all of you out there wherever you are
Remember...
The light at the end of the tunnel
May be you
Goodnight

Just a little something that gives me hope that my WS could someday see the light...

This is probobly about drug addiction but it seems to fit...

Be the light at the end of the tunnel... be that "angle of mercy"

[color:"blue"]One day Solomon decided to humble Benaiah Ben Yehoyada, his most trusted minister.

He said to him, "Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives you six months to find it."

"If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty," replied Benaiah, "I will find it and bring it to you, but what makes the ring so special?"

"It has magic powers," answered the king. "If a happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad man looks at it, he becomes happy."

Solomon knew that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished to give his minister a little taste of humility.

Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah had no idea where he could find the ring.

On the night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one of the poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a merchant who had begun to set out the day's wares on a shabby carpet. "Have you by any chance heard of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows?" asked Benaiah.

He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring from his carpet and engrave something on it. When Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke out in a wide smile.

That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of Sukkot with great festivity.

"Well, my friend," said Solomon, "have you found what I sent you after?"

All the ministers laughed and Solomon himself smiled. To everyone's surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold ring and declared, "Here it is, your majesty!"

As soon as Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished from his face.

The jeweler had written three Hebrew letters on the gold band:

_gimel, zayin, yud_, which began the words "_Gam zeh ya'avor_" --

"This too shall pass."

At that moment Solomon realized that all his wisdom and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing but dust. [/color]

This too shall pass.

Remember this when things are not going your way.

Remember this when you are celebrating success.

My hope is that you find serenity in there words "This too shall pass."

This is the attitude of a human lighthouse.

Thank you for that, Pepperband!

Thank you pepper...

How did you get so wise?

I want to hear your story...

Wow... Listen to this...

I sent an email to WW yesterday while I was at work... she never responded so I sent another asking if she got the first one before I left for home.

She sent me an email back this morning saying she wasn’t at work yesterday…

My daughter was sick this weekend when my stepdaughter was over to visit…So I sent another email asking if they were sick… She replied she stayed at home because of S-T-R-E-S-S…. LMAO

She said SD’s dad has been calling her cell phone continually at all hours of the day and night and leaving nasty messages…. Threatening to take her to court…have police check on the welfare of SD… is going to come get SD and take her back to home state…etc etc etc… She also said her and SD have been constantly fighting and that SD is having a hard time “Adjusting”…(The truth is SD is really pissed at her mom…Said she doesn’t need another man in her life right now and doesn’t want OM in the house at all… She is seriously considering going to live with her dad.)

I saw an opportunity…and took it…I know one of her emotional needs is conversation and another is family commitment.

Sent her an email saying how sorry I was that she was having such a hard time… I then went on to explain why I changed my mind about stepdaughter coming to visit…(I also told SD when she was here that she could come over anytime.) I said that if there was a lot of tension in her house that SD could come visit any time…if for nothing else to give her safe place to come to in order to give SD a respite from the tension and drama…

Then in the same email I said….

On my darkest days I always need a little inspiration…. Maybe this will help….

Then I put the story of Solomon and Benaiah Ben Yehoyada it the email and at the end also put….

This too shall pass.

Remember this when things are not going your way.

Remember this when you are celebrating success.

My hope is that you find serenity in the words "This too shall pass."


Here’s where it starts to get good….LMAO…

She sends me an email back saying “I see you’re using AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) sayings…lol”

I responded with… “No… Someone sent that to me and it meant a lot to me… I just thought I would share it with you…

She responds: “That’s an AA saying… you know “like one step at a time” this too shall pass… etc..”

I responded with this just to get her thinking… “Oh, I didn’t know that… Maybe that’s where she got it from.”

So I leave work and drive home…(About an hour drive) She calls me 3 times and is having brake problems on her car… (I’m sure OM probably came to give her a ride and she ended the call before he could figure out who she was talking to…) All three times she ends the conversation with…”ok HONEY I gotta go… And said she was going to call me tomorrow…

LMAO…

Comments from the peanut gallery????

My DD asked me if my SD could spend the night. I said sure why don’t you call her and see if she wants to come over.

Well they talked for a while and then my DD handed me the phone and said SD wanted to talk to me.

She said she probably couldn’t spend the night because her mom wouldn’t be home until 8:00 and she had plans for tomorrow. Maybe she would spend the night next week. Then she said that the reason she wanted to talk to me was because she didn’t want me to reveal the affair yet. SD and her mom got in a fight and took away her phone for two days… I asked what happened and she told me.

SD said that after she left my house on Monday she had a long talk with her mom about the OM. She explained how she felt about him, and that she didn’t want him around. WW started crying and said that her and OM had a big fight and was probably already over.

Then she said that on Tuesday WW didn’t come home at usual time. She called her mom and could hear the OM in the background. SD was very upset and her mom told her she was not going to talk to her about it right now and hung up. SD said her dad called SD several times to see if SD was by herself and if her mom was home. When mom wasn’t home at 8:45 SD’s dad called my WS. OM answered the phone. SD’s dad went ballistic. WS went home and accused SD of being a traitor and telling her dad about the OM. (Duh… The OM answered the phone…and threatened to beat SD’s dad to death…HELLO! Is there anybody in there?)

I think she’s loosing it… <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I guess all is not well in adulteryland now that WW is getting a dose of reality with SD and her EX.

om sounds dangerous.

I am concerned that the ex called you and tells you that WW did this to him also. This is good info. But also bad cause it sounds like WW is a serial cheater. I am glad the ex called you, sounds like he cares about his DD and is reaching out, this is good.

Hang in there and be the good dad, keep up the plan A, since this is what you are choosing, to save your M.

WW has already lost it, is deep in the fog although I hope what is going on, the reality, will help to bring her out.

I feel so terribly bad for your SD. Kids really do get hurt so much, she might be better off with her Father.

Good luck and God Bless

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hmmmmm.... her ex... not sure what to think about him yet...

I think he's a bitter man who hasn't forgiven...

And I concur about reality... mabybe this will wake her up and bring her out of the fog...I think she is a serial cheater... what a way to live life... She must be carrying around a ton of GUILT. Well you know what they say... You reap what you sow...

I don't know if what I'm in is plan A... She dosn't know that I know... Had a counseling with Jenifer and we decided not to reaveal just yet...I'm supposed to write her letters every two or three days...Letters with Heart...

I feel really bad for SD too... And actually this has brought her and I closer... She used to keep me at arms length before...not so much now... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Weekends are tuff... During the week when I'm working it takes my mind off of this some what...

But during the weekend I have a tendency to dwell on my situation and my WS. Idle time I guess...

I need to keep busy and try and keep my mind on other things. But that's hard to do sometimes. I'm still not sleeping or eating very well and feel like I'm emotionally exhausted.

Jennifer gave me a couple of assignments during my counseling session with her.

She wants me to fill out three sheets... one on why I'm doing this. One on Her needs. And one on Love Busters.

The other thing I'm supposed to do is write my WS a Short letter (Just a couple of paragraphs) every 2 or 3 days...Somthing that comes from the Heart and with passion...

I seem to have writers block... Or maybe its just stress... Anyway I'm having a difficult time finding something to write about...

Anybody have any suggestions?

You need to be out doing fun things. That will make this easier to get through. Then you can write your wife about your activities. Make it a short, fun note.

Thanks believer,

I know... I'm just not motivated right now...I did make a to-do list yesterday and got all but 2 done...

I did come up with 50 reasons why I wanted to save my marriage...

I have been reading a little...

I was thinking the other way too... Why would I want to get a divorce...I didn't really make a list because I could only come up with 2 or 3 reasons...All of them had to do with an un-willingness on her part to make a change...

I know it's un-healthy for me to be in a funk like this... especially for my kids... I do have some good days... and they're getting to be more frequent... It just seems that when I'm left to stay Idle is when the hurt sets in again...

I do have a question for some of the vets out there...

Jennifer kind of pointed me in a direction that I didn't think she would... Not exposing... And instead writing these letters...And maybe exposing later...

Any thoughts on why? I mean everything I read on hear say's expose expose expose...