Your first step needs to be to put on your own oxygen mask. Then you will be able to care for everyone else.

I forced myself to get out and do things. I let workmates, friends, and neighbors know that I wanted to do ANYTHING. Then I just made myself do it. It was difficult at first, but gets easier, and helps to raise your self esteem out of the toilet.

Your wife is going to need to hit bottom and stop drinking. That is up to her, and you can't do anything about her choices.

But you CAN save yourself and your family.

Pepperband seems to think shes on a dry drunk... Or maybe a low bottom drunk... That she has to loose everything before she decides to make a change...As far as I know she hasn't had a drop in over 3 months...

That is good. At least it is a start. Now your job is to save YOURSELF. You need to get busy making a good life, and hope that she will decide to join you.

Exercise, get out and about, do fun things, get back to hobbies, and realize that your life needs to go on.

I spent MONTHS being miserable. That is the only thing I regret - all the WASTED time.

Well I have been working out... I did 5 miles on the treadmill on Friday...

And I do have a couple of things that I have already seen a doctor about... (Snoring for one, and I'm taking medicine to help me quit smoking)

I did go out with some friends on wednesday... and went to a going away luncheon on friday...

I do like fishing but... it's kinda cold for that right now...

Maybe by the my next paycheck I'll feel a little more like getting out and not having to penny pinch so much...

RIF, I saw your picture... Lt. Col?... For some reason I had you pegged as enlisted like me...

Pepper, I saw your picture too...I'll have to put mine on there...

BTW... I have had so many nicknames in real life I cant count them all... but here's a few

Koolaide
Hudini
Tuna Man
Amazin-----> Has to do with my last name... and a popular Hymn

"I do like fishing but... it's kinda cold for that right now..."

Zip on over to the fishing thread on the Recreation board. There are some excellent fishing pointers.

Exercise is good. Might as well stay in shape.

And dig up some fun stuff that doesn't cost much money.

Hey Amazin - I'm an enlisted guy at heart! I know where I came from and I sure know who runs the military... it's great NCO's like yourself!

I didn't realize that that you'd changed your name until just a day or so ago... you've got some real experts helping you so I'll just pop in and be your cheering section when I can!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks RIF,

I appreaciat it and all the advice you've given me so far... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks RIF... But we have a saying in the Chief's Mess...

"We don't run the Navy, We just make the Navy run"
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hey Amazin,

Just checking in to see how you're doing today... I hope all is well back home.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks RIF,
What a diffence a day makes.
Yesterday was a good day... And today is going to be another.

Be Safe.

That's great!!!

Take it one day at a time... enjoy the good days, and prepare yourself for the down days...

I guess all of the snow has the TB all in their caves... not much activity now and I hope it stays that way!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Three good days in a row... what do ya know!

Morning Amazin! That's great to hear. Thanks for the update!

Semper Fi,

RIF

It was a good day... but a tough one too...
I havn't had a cigarette all day... I was craving earlier but I'm all right now.

I went to my counselor yesterday. One of the things she suggested is that I start a journal. Start writing things down on paper... if I want to vent... etc... I guess if I can put my feelings on paper It may help me to verbalize them better...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Two days... No cigarettes...

WW is still in fantasy land... (AKA Adultery Land)

I sent her a very warm heart felt email yesterday...

She said she was busy at work and never had a chance to read it.

But her actions tell me somthing different...she called me as soon as she got off work just to chit chat... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

She talked to me all the way to her apartment... Then had to let me go so she could smoke a cigarette and go to her AA meeting. (that she wasn't at) Then she spent the rest of the evening with OM at her apt...

Cake eater...

Hey Amazin,

good for you on the cigarettes!

I know it's hard knowing that your W is with the OM... but it sounds like you're doing great!

Journaling really helped me...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Three days...Still no cigarettes...Working on the fourth. If I can make it through this weekend I think that will be a big hurdle.

I cant believe how much better I feel after 3 days... I can actually smell things again…(Sometimes that may not be a good thing….LOL)

I ran on Monday... stopped smoking on Wednesday... ran again on Friday... cut 36 seconds off my 1½ mile run time. 12:44. One of my goals was to be less than 12 minutes by late May…. I think I’m going to blow past that…

I went to the Dentist on Thursday because I have a veneer on a tooth that I want to get fixed. I asked the dentist what the Military could do to improve and whiten my smile… He said there’s a ton of stuff that the Military can do now that wasn’t available just a few years ago. He did a quick exam and said I’d make a great candidate for a complete restoration… New crowns, white fillings, bleaching, veneers… before and after pictures …the whole 9 yards… I was AMAZED…LOL (My entire military career, military dentistry always seemed to be about function… not ascetics. How it looks cost more money… the government doesn’t want to foot the bill. It’s nice to see this change)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Good Morning Amazin!

They say if you can hold out for a week, that you'll be home free! Only a couple more days!

I cracked a tooth on my last tour over here and they couldn't do anything for me in theater, so they told me to wait and get it fixed when I got home... When I got to the MOB station, they said "you're a reservist, you'll have to go through the VA".

I told them that I was on AD when I cracked my tooth and that they needed to fix it. They still wouldn't budge. So I called the VA when I finally got home. I talked to a very nice lady that said that yes, they could schedule me for an appointment... three months down the road!

Three months later I made the appointment and was looking forward to finally getting my tooth fixed only to find out that the first appointment was only a 'screening' appointment... so I made the actual dental appointment for the next MONTH.

Gotta love the VA!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

If you cracked your tooth on active duty then the military should fix it...

Isn't that how it works? If you break your leg on active duty do they tell you... sorry you're a reservist...go to the VA?? I wouldn't acccept that answer without a fight...

I quit once before for about 30-40 days... I think 90 days of not smoking could be considered a succsess...