Hmmm where to start... How about where I left off.... LOL

Saturday March 15th. WW calls me in the morning... She said she called because her ex was harassing her about SD. She said he’s been sending text messages to her repeating exactly what the custody order says. She said she called to ask me if I think he’s done anything legally to take her back to court or enforce the order. (The order states she must return to his state as soon as I’m no longer in the military or if we are no longer married) So he’s making sure she knows it and may have to move back. I’m pretty sure it was just an excuse to call and feel me out. She wanted to know if SD to come over on Sunday the 16th so she could spend some time with my daughter before her foot surgery. She also wanted me to talk to SD about her dad and try and make a connection. I talked to her a little when she was here... I didn’t try and force anything or make her feel like I was putting her in the middle. (Her mom and dad do that enough.) But one bit of interesting information did come out from my talk with SD. WW and her OM broke up about 3 weeks ago...LOL

Tuesday March 18th. I get a call in the morning from WW asking me to call SD to wish her well and let her know everything will be all right. Of course I was planning on doing that anyway so I did. I also got some flowers and had them delivered with a nice card and a picture of all of us and another picture of our feet....LOL (Foot surgery ... get it...) I had it delivered to her apartment ... so now she knows that I know where she lives.

Friday March 21st. WW’s 20 year old son calls me... He’s been in jail... We have a long talk and I tried to encourage him to change his ways before it’s too late. He says he’s always liked me and will always consider me his step-dad no matter what happens between me and WW. That made me feel real good.

Saturday March 22nd. WW calls me in the morning. She’s upset and highly pissed off... SOMEONE has poured sugar in her gas tank... No it’s not me... It’s the alcoholic OM... He’s just following the script ... Love Busting on her... Of course I play stupid... “Aw honey... who would do that to you?” This catches her off guard and she immediately say’s “oh... I got to go... I’ll call you back”... LOL.... It was like all of the sudden she remembered she can’t tell me about this OM ... so she had to get off the phone so she could fabricate a lie about who did it and why...She calls back spews some more lies... then has the balls to ask me to pay to get her car fixed... I told her NO! And that I had a $2000 bill from my fender bender and I didn’t have the money to pay for it... She got pissed at me.... started spewing about how I always put other people ahead of the family... and that I continue to cut her throat... blah blah blah....I asked her why she couldn’t put it on her credit card that has a $10,000 credit limit? She said she lowered the limit, used it to move out, and that it’s maxed out... (I’ll bet it’s maxed out at 10,000) I told her the best I could do is let her borrow my Junker for a couple of days until she gets her car fixed.

Sunday March 23rd Well my suspicions are confirmed... She’s got another OM... I go out for an early morning Easter drive... I go past her house on the way back home... In her driveway is her female friend’s car... She’s sitting on a man’s lap and got her tongue half way down his throat... It’s a new OM... it’s safe to assume that the first OM found out about this new OM and then put the sugar in her tank... Well I guess you reap what you sow...I’ll give this guy a month or two before they’re Love Busting on each other just like the first guy... and then.... OM #3?

Who knows... I’ll be in plan B by then...

It hurts to see her do this but at the same time... It’s almost comical to see her wallow in the mess she’s made of her life ... Then act like everything is peachy keen... She’s starting to see the beginning of cracks in her fantasy world... but she still act’s like nothing is wrong...

Hugs to you..... i thought about all you guys while the board was out..... i wish you had had better news but me and the little one are here with you.

Thanks Snuggles... I've missed everyone here too and I've been thinking about you...

Hope things are alright for you... give us an update.

Amazin....

So how is church and the bible study going???

Nice story you got going there. So, have you figured out your boundaries yet??? Where is your limit????

This crap is so hard, I just hate it....I am so ready to be out of the mayhem....

Anyway, the poor VETS are probably scatching their heads trying to figure out who to post and help first....

as long as we can get back to normal right???

Church is great... Here's the message from the 16th...It really ministered to me...

Proverbs 18:21 "Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose.”

Ephesians 4:29 “Say only what helps, each word a gift.” “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

The pastor bottomed lined it this way... “Speak the TRUTH...Make your Yes mean Yes and your No mean No! “ When you speak the truth you set boundaries.


My oldest brother called that day... Everything that comes out of his mouth is positive, encouraging and uplifting ... so I had to share this message with him... that he is a blessing to me because of his words....


So... to answer your question about boundaries... No... I haven't figured out my boundaries...LOL.... My limit? for??? How long I'm going to stay in plan A? Ummm I dunno... I'll know when its time to go to plan B.... I don't think Plan A will continue until June 1st. She seems to have set that date as a day to decide if we're going to get back together.... or continue to be separated... I think I'll be in plan B before then.

For several years our church had a "Kid's Sermon" one Sunday per month. These were just short, 5 minute messages given to the kids as they gathered around just before being sent off to their respective Sunday school classes. I delivered many of these messages, usually some simple object lesson.

One that several parents commented on (of course I would never speak directly to the parents...) was one in which I had the kids take turns squeezing the toothpaste from a huge tube onto a paper plate. Some of the older (10/11 y/o) kids worked on it to get every single bit of the stuff out.

The premise was that now we would perform a magic trick and put all of the toothpaste back into the tube...

But of course there were no magic words or actions that could do that...

Just like we can't take back what we have said after we say it. Once our words are spoken, they are forever out here...



Now...Amazin, how much more are you going to put up with on this? OM#3? What will it take, OM#27? 30? How far is too far? Get your Plan B plans finalized and be done with this drama...

Mark

I know.... I know... But I just confirmed OM #2 on Sunday... Before that I just suspected... besides... she's got my junker... I'd like to get that back before I go into plan B.

I need to start thinking about plan B soon... and come up with a plan B letter so I can be ready.

t/j real quick....mark, I liked that analogy.....keep it up, but I will say, I miss your longer posts sometimes.....


Amazin....

Mark is right. YOu kept up with me through all of this, and I will tell you that the day everything "changed" or "clicked" for me was when I identified my boundaries and what I was willing to accept. Only then was I able to move like I did. That's why I asked you what your boundaries are. I think I will go back and read my post and try to remember what exactly it was that got me to that point......

Anyway, glad to hear you are growing man. keep it up...

not2fun

ok, I remember my boundaries moment....it was a post by JosieJones about boundaries written my Mulan.....mark it so you can re-read it....I bumped it for you so you don't have to find it.....

not2fun

Ok I read the Boundaries thread and I understand the boundaries concept. I guess I just haven’t sat down and made a list of my personal boundaries. Some of them are very obvious but there are others that I’m not so sure about.

right now you need to define the ones you want for your current M.....she's thinking she can do whatever she wants and you will always be there waiting.....

Trust me I know....I am STILL getting this kind of garbage....

Just mark that thread and read and re-read it and think it over. Jot some notes down....you'll figure it out and when you do, that's when everything you have learned and read over these last months will come together, and THEN you can get a plan of action.....

not2fun

Ok... I can do that... I also have the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend. I’ve heard several people say it’s a good book to read. I’m just not a big reader. And I have tons of reading material right now. I’m much more of a “Book on CD” kind of guy....LOL

Besides I have about an hour drive to and from work everyday...

Oh.... I almost forgot... This is CLASSIC...The Mother of all babble back and the Fog Babble response...

My WW calls me this morning... She calls to tell me that one of her friends got sugar in their gas tank as well... (Of course I know it’s her new OM) As she’s telling me about it she slips and say’s”HIS” instead of “my friend” or “their” I can tell that she noticed the slip up and is nervous about it so I start asking normal questions that you would ask... I ask her very calmly “Who did this?” (Knowing full well that it was her first OM) ...It literally threw her for a loop and a half... Her response.... “I DON’T WANT TO SAY OVER THE AIRWAYS” I said “why? Are you afraid your cell phone is tapped?” She acted like she didn’t hear what I said... Then I asked again “Who did this?” Then she said “So N So from AA”. So then I asked “So why did he do this? What did you do to piss him off?” So then she gets mad and goes into the “the best defense is a good offense routine” She explains it as ....he’s a drunk who does stupid stuff then wakes up in the morning not knowing what he did... Then she quickly changes the subject... wants to know if I can help her with the cost of getting her car fixed. And if my daughter can stay out of school for a couple of days to nursemaid my step daughter...

The whole time I’m dying of laughter on the inside knowing that she’s lying her butt off and failing miserably at it... “I DON’T WANT TO SAY OVER THE AIRWAYS” Come On.... How stupid does she think I am....LOL.... what a dumb line... I’m still laughing at the moronic stupidity of it...

It's almost like I'm dealing with a child ... You know... the child who has chocolate icing all over his face who still denies that they ate any chocolate cake....LOL

Yesterday was 8 weeks since I quit smoking...

Woo Hoooo!

It's opening day of trout season... Maybe I'll go fishing today. The only bad thing about going fishing on opening day is that everyone else is fishing on opening day. I really don’t want to deal with the crowds... Fishing is for relaxing, meditating and calming oneself... not elbowing your neighbor out of your fishing spot...LOL (Mark... If I catch a whopper I’ll send you a picture)

Vets....

I’m ready for plan B and I need some mentoring and guidance. I need a little help a defining my boundaries and writing a plan B letter. I sent Jenifer an email thanking her for her help with my love letters and asking her if she could help me with a plan B letter. I’m separated financially so I don’t have to do anything there... Intermediary??? I’m thinking that if my SD wants to come over she can ask my kids and they can ask me... That’s about the only reason I can think of for my wife to contact me... Is there anything else I need to do?

Bumping for a little encouragement and help...

I'm not a vet-- never did Plan A or B (with much regret) but I was just curious what Jennifer said about you going to Plan B and if she's going to help you with the letter.

I think it's high time you remove yourself from the drama (sugar in a gas tank?!?!? sheesh). But I would rely on Jennifer's opinion first.

Whatever you do, just know that we're here for you.

CONGRADULATIONS......

I was thinking of you and this the other day. I was wondering how it was going......My dr. appt. is coming up and I am ready to do this...I am SOOOOOOO ready to do this....

As far as advice on Plan B....you know you don't want mine....(where's that dang rolley eyes icon....)....thanks for your support....I almost feel selfish, because I've not been pulling my weigth around here with that...but I will get there....ready to read someone else's drama anyway....

Hang in there...you're doing fine...

not2fun

Thanks Not2!

I'm kind of irritated right now. I spent a good portion of the day typing my Plan B letter. Then I sent it home via email. well... it's not here... Grrrr...

Well... Maybe I'll just type it again.

My church is starting a 21 day fast today. It's called the Daniel Fast and it's based on the foods Daniel ate when he was with the babbylonian King. Basically no meat no bread and no sugar. That leaves whole grains, legumes, fruits, vegetables, seeds and fruit juice.

My son and I decided we are going to do the fast. After Church on Sunday I took the kids to a buffet. My son says "Dad, since the fast is starting on Tuesday we should eat everthing that's not allowed on the fast.

And we did...LOL

I had a real good time with my kids on Sunday. I had them laughing so hard at the buffet that my daughter had Ice cream comming out of her nose.

I'm going to finish my plan B letter today. When I'm done I'm going to post it so I can get some feedback.