Anyone?

Hi Amazin,

I've never posted to you before, but I've read some of your thread.

I've never been to Plan B, but I've been on MB a few years now. I can't imagine it would NOT be lonely, at first. I think most folks who have been in Plan B would tell you it gets better, though.

I guess the best I can say is to hang in there. You won't be lonely for the rest of your life... you can and will have better days, you can and will love again. Hopefully with your wife, as a repentant FWW. If not, well... that'll be her loss. Really.

Thanks Cuthbert,

I appreciate your encouragement.

Where on the East Coast are you? Am I correct that you're in the DC area? That's where I am...

I'm in the Philly area. I'm about 2 1/2 hours from DC. (Depending on the traffic on I-95)

I can understand feeling lonely with your family far away. Especially with the price of gas what it is today. Now would be the time to spend time with (male) friends, or to develop new interests.

How are things going today?

My firm has a branch office in Philly. I am up there from time to time, and spent a couple days last November helping them move into a new office building. I like the city... and of course, the cheesesteak sandwich!

Today started OK... I need to keep working out to keep my stress level low.

Hey, Amazin. Sorry, I haven't been around much.


What you describe is totally normal. You have been in your own fog all this time, and the beginning of the plan is often the hardest.

You will begin to feel better and more at peace as time passes and you feel the relief of being disentangled from your WW.

It's important that you do things to take care of yourself right now. Are you doing that? Working out for stress relief is good--anything else?

Also to stay busy. It's good to keep the mind occupied. I (and others) would find the whole buzzing thoughts/mind turning everything over/rethinking and analyzing would invade my head whenever it got an opportunity.

You're going to want to know what's going on. . . to know whether what you're doing is working. Resist the urge. You're better off not knowing.

Reminders: you're not doing plan B to make her come back. You can't make her do anything. You're doing plan B to protect yourself and whatever love you have left so that IF she tries to come back, maybe you will be willing to listen.

You are better protected if you don't know anything about what's going on in InfidelWorld.

Keep asking questions. I'll try to be more attentive.

SDGuy,

Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it.


I've been doing home improvement projects. That keeps me busy. I've been getting involved in church and reading the Bible. That's been keeping my mind occupied and help the heart.


I know this... but it's hard to try and remove myself from InfidelWorld when InfidelWorld moved in right next door.

She only moved about 2 blocks away and it's on a road that I have to use. I have to go waaaay out of my way NOT to use it. It's almost like she wanted me to catch her so she could rub my nose in it.

Yeah, that makes it tough. This actually brings up additional thoughts I have for you, but I think I'm going to start a new thread.

In the mean time, try this. As you drive past, if you see something upsetting, ask yourself "Hmm. What would Obi-Wan Kenobi do in this situation?"

LOL SDG, you are so funny!

Hi Amazin'!!

Just wanted to stop by and tell you I have been working long hours every day and so I cannot be here nearly as much as I would like, but you are in our prayers!

I'm sure the beginning of Plan B is very lonely! Try to focus on your future and a time- just around the corner- when you WILL be happy again. You are a great person and I wish you all the best. Hang in there, buddy!

Unfortunatly, I am more the type to ask, "Hmm. What would Rambo do in this situation?"

I bet I would look good with that rocket launcher and M60 too!

Ummm.....but stick with SD's Obi-Wan thingy. Yep..... That might be best.

ix-nay on the ambo-ray.

The jedi reference is for a reason. I assume that Amazin, being a working-out military type and all, could easily rip the infidels apart. We know that Obi-Wan Kenobi could do that, too, right? As a jedi, he could easily destroy all of the lowlife scum in the cantina, but he doesn't because he only uses his powers for good. . . .

Or maybe I've just seen Star Wars too many times with my kids.

Hang in there, man.

Hand me my light saber...it's the one that says 'Bad Mother F**ker' on it!

Thanks Lala,

I need all the prayers I can get!

I miss your (Former) wayward wisdom... don't be a stranger.




You guys are too funny...

However, the truth is I have struggled with my self control. There have been many times when I desired to do physical harm to the OM. So far I've been able to control myself and I haven’t done anything stupid...

I know that. That's why I want you to think like a Jedi.

You're certainly not alone. Every BS goes through that kind of thinking, but you know that it won't make anything better. It will make things MUCH worse.

I know... Thanks for giving me the support and encouragement I need.

I don't know why but for the last few weeks I've been real sad and emotional on Sundays. Maybe it's just becuase I'm not busy on Sunday and my idle mind tends to think about my wife.


I really miss my wife and step-daughter. It really eats me up having my family torn in pieces.

There's a christian radio station(S) that I listen to. On Sundays from 5-8 pm eastern they have a bluegrass gospell show. I really enjoy it. Very inspirational.

You can listen on line here.


http://www.wordfm.org/a_pgs/pgs_hme.asp

Great stuff.

Is there something else you can keep yourself busy with on Sundays (before the radio show starts?) Somewhere to hike, perhaps? Local basketball league? Yoga class at the community rec center?

This is probably another phase that you will get through. The time alone used to get to me, too, but now I savor it.