My thinking is that OM GF H is going to leave him so financially strapped that OM will cry out in relief at the idea of no child support for OC.

Yes JL, a loaded cement truck.

We rarely get to see the offender suffer the consequences of their actions, and I know we aren't supposed to want to, but there is a certain satisfaction knowing that the offender does indeed get his/her just reward.

Unfortunately, the pain for all will continue as the story continues to develop on so many levels. So sorry, RB.

Not in any way intended to be legal advice--OB nurses don't DO that--but more along the lines of a rumination... Since the nice-but-extremely-irate STBXH offered you legal services you didn't want, is there any chance he'd be willing to offer you some you could use? Such as getting you and your wife child support from OM while simultaneously having him relinquish all parental rights. I can't think of an attorney in the whole wide, wide world who would be likely to be a better pit bull on your behalf, or more motivated to see that you got the very best possible deal, at the greatest expense to your mutual foe. Sounds to me like he'd not only enjoy sticking another knife in, but that he'd sharpen for you himself before he did!!

I agree with this post 100%

++

RB:


One major support I had when I first found out and for months after that is my long time friend from waaaay back who could best be described as "Shrink." It is what he does for a living with kids and has with adults in the past.

Shrink says that we make heros out of some of the Hollywood types and he thinks that we might ought to go back to the days when the real hero was a guy who mowed his yard on Saturday, went to Church on Sunday, had a bit of a pot belly, raised his kids, loved his wife and worked hard to support his family. That may not be "Glamorous" or "Exciting" by current standards, but it sure beats what is happening to "Mr. Excitement," your wife's former OM. He is enjoyng "consequences," something that is often left out of the Hollywood productions.

OM is getting his back as well he should. And I agree that you can enjoy without getting involved except for lighting the fuse.

Those who have been here a while will tell you that I fought hard to build a new relationship with my wife. I did this for the sake of honor, integrity and vows. And I have found new love to replace that which was shattered. My wife feels "safe" with me, as well she should. I say this as a way of explaining that you really can make chicken soup out of the chicken stuff that was dealt to you from your wife failing to protect her weaknesses from what could best be described as a predator. By no means does this pull the fangs from what she did, but it does explain.

All the best.

Larry

Still thinking. If lawyer STBXH took, say, a $1 retainer to actually be RB's attorney, then everything RB says to him becomes confidential. As I understand it, he then could not openly use any info he got from RB regarding the pregnancy, etc., in depositions with his own WW and Mr. Wonderful. I don't see any reason why, however, he couldn't use his "inside" knowledge to ask some very uncomfortable questions to this slimy semi-human, who seems to be completely unable to keep his little pony in its own paddock.

Unless there's some conflict of interest which simply cannot be reconciled, I don't see why it couldn't be made to work out for the benefit of both RB and his FWW's FOM's GF's STBXH--my, my, this is getting complex! Mr. Wonderful is in for a rough ride, I think.

I think there would be a conflict for him to actually represent RB, but he could give him all sorts of fun and dandy legal advice, as well as refer him to another attorney who can do the legwork, while still making fabulous recommendations.

This is correct. However, he could still give him legal advice and the referral and anything they say would be protected as long as RB makes it clear he is seeking legal advice. It would be consider a consultation.

Does anyone else "sense" that possibly this thread just went past the point of believeability?

... and honestly, I don't know which I would prefer. I mean, if this is just some well written "story", then Rb65 isn't really dealing with the PAIN of a WW and OC, but if it is true, then Rb65 just got every BH's dream scenario thrown right in his lap.

FogFree and I talked about this quite a bit yesterday evening over a couple of hour road trip and I guess we just seem to think that this is just "too" much like a BH fantasy script, along the lines of "if it's too good to be true, then it probably is".

You don't think that Coach3650 has come back do you?

I guess I'm not familiar with Coach3650? Must have been before my time here ... was there similarities to Rb65's situation or was he just working on a novel and using MB to preview his storyline?

RB


So what actually happened, did she see her stuff? Something seems to be missing here. Was your meeting the next day? When did he file?

Larry

IF I remember right, one of the members saw his photo in a dating site or something. It stated he liked to write stories etc. He was so good that he had everyone fooled. He admitted it and left. It must have been 2-3 years ago.

Well, obviously some of you have gotten the wrong idea. I can assure you that I am not a writer and this is not some fantasy story. What may seem to you like a BS dream is anything but that. I had the BS dream in an OM that had no interest in future contact w/ my wife and instead of just leaving that alone I had to try to punish him when the opportunity arose. This has caused nothing but turmoil and 2nd guessing in the past week. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since last Tuesday when I ran into OM in Starbucks and now my wife and oldest daughter are mad at me for not just letting sleeping dogs lie. Instead of just fading into the past, now we are probably going to get drug into his current crap.

When I sent that picture to OM’s wife, I felt pretty good about myself until she called me back and I saw how mad she was and learned that she had forwarded it to her former neighbor who was the husband of the woman with OM. That’s when I got really scared that I had screwed up royally. That’s why I said in that post that I did something really stupid. I was just surprised that I didn’t get any 2x4’s here for doing what I did. When I didn’t, I started to think that maybe I hadn’t done anything so bad and that maybe I had been given the opportunity that every BS dreams of. That was until all of this crap with the new BH started and now I’m afraid that the worst is yet to come. We live in a small suburb of a much larger city. There is no way that everyone in town is not going to be talking about this if this new BH does everything he said he planned to do.

You guys can believe what you want to believe, because I have too much crap to deal with to worry about it. I just want those of you who have been so faithful to offer me encouragement to know that I appreciate your help and that I would never be so cruel as to use a board like this to play games.

Also, apparently I don’t show enough anger for some of you, but excuse me for not baring my soul on an internet message board. Maybe it would make you feel better if you could see me sitting by the bed crying at 2AM trying to figure out how the person I have loved for 23 years could be willing to throw everything away for a cheap fling. Trust me, it infuriates me that I have sacrificed and given everything to this family for the 21 years we have been married and it apparently meant nothing to her and now to stay married I’m going to have to sacrifice even more and raise a child that’s not mine. Luckily I have some good friends who allow me to vent when I need to so that I’m not spouting venom 24/7.

Larry,
To clear things up for you, I ran into OM last Tuesday night and that’s when I sent the picture to his wife that she forwarded to her neighbor that same night. He filed or LS on Thursday. The new OW’s husband called me on Thursday night to ask if I would meet him on Friday. Also, to answer your question, she didn’t see her clothes piled in the driveway until she returned home later on Wednesday.

Don't worry about this RB, there are MANY of here who do NOT doubt you. Just use the ignore feature for those who do, they are not helpful.

Yes, it's unfortunate that new BH is intent on dragging everyone in to his mess, but yanno, this is just one more consequence of your wife's choices. I really don't see how what happened between your wife and OM would be relevant to new BH's divorce case, and an argument could probably be made that it's irrelevant. It does show a pattern of OM's behavior, but in a divorce case, I would think the behavior of new BH's wife would be more relevant.

I dunno, maybe a good attorney could keep you guys out of that case, or at the least, due to HIPPA laws, keep your wife's pregnancy out.

Having lived what I've lived, I've gotta say that the truth really IS stranger than fiction.

How is your wife doing?

Thanks for the support guys.

TO answer your ?'s, I'm afraid that I may be asked to authenticate the picture that I sent and answer questions about what I saw in Starbucks that night.

My wife is doing okay, but not great. She is angry at me for not just leaving things alone. My temper is one of her biggest LB's and although I didn't punch OM in the mouth like I wanted to, the little stunt I pulled was all about not controling my temper being able to get a little revenge.

She is just worried about the ramifications if all of this gets ugly and the stories start to get around town. I know it's part of the consequences of what she did, but somehow I feel like I have failed to protect my family because I could have prevented this latest episode by just controlling my temper.

RB--There are many helpful people on this board. The fact that my daughter is still married and happy again is testament to that fact. However, my personal experience here has led me to believe that once you quit dancing emotionally naked on a tabletop for the "edification" of the masses, you entirely lose the attention and interest of all but a very few.

Take what help you can get from MB (and I know you've already gotten a significant amount) and let the rest slide. If you can play the hand you've been dealt IRL, you can certainly survive the cyberdisapproval and jibes of a few strangers. God bless you and your family, including the baby.

absolutely NOT. You did the righ thing 100%!

Your wife does not have the right to be angry at you for this. Frankly, I think she has a lot of nerve!

Yes.

I do believe that her anger with you has more to do with her poor choice than ANYTHING you did.