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I told him that I hoped the SLUT was worth it. I am pretty sure I said all kinds of things to him that I shouldn't have. I think you are quite entitled after having been abused, raped and gaslighted for the last 3 years. The man has been mistreating you for years, Kim. Don't you DARE castigate yourself for lashing out at him. I would have pistol whipped him myself.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Kim, I've never posted to you before but I have read bits of your thread. I found out 4 days ago my recovery was false as well. Sux doesnt it.
Can I cry with you? Hi Lil Doggie. It does suck. I am sorry for you. I guess I didn't want to admit that something could be wrong. But underneath everything I must have known. Otherwise I would have been a happy Recovery story who was busy with her happy life with H & DS. Is your WS still at home then? Are you still going to try to save the M? Helps to know I'm not in this boat alone.
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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The man has been mistreating you for years, Kim. Don't you DARE castigate yourself for lashing out at him. Truthfully, it felt kind of good to speak without caring if I was going to say something that might "push" him away. Or that might "hurt" our M. Since I have no Plans of a Plan A, it makes no diff!!
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Truthfully, it felt kind of good to speak without caring if I was going to say something that might "push" him away. Or that might "hurt" our M. Did it feel EUPHORIC?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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If I would have let myself, I think I would have smiled afterwards. I also felt like I was having an out of body experience. Partly in disbelief that this was happening to me yet again.
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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He's a sociopath Kim - your suffering means jack to him.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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If I would have let myself, I think I would have smiled afterwards. I was wondering if you felt your sub conscious mind go HURRAY FOR JUSTICE!! THANKS FOR STANDING UP FOR ME, KIM!! I am so very sorry, but again, it is a GIFT FROM GOD that this finally came out, Kim. He could have dragged this on for a very long time playing cat and mouse, wearing you down more and more every day. He could have toyed with you much longer.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Should I even bother exposing? Right now, I would be doing it out of spite.
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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please note that this time YOU STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR SON.
The last time we had to PUSH YOU to protect yourself. Remember? Look at how far you have come.. Do you SEE IT?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He's a sociopath Kim - your suffering means jack to him. Kahuna -- thank you for being here too. I felt your cyber hugs earlier. He has deeper problems than I can help him with.
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Should I even bother exposing? Right now, I would be doing it out of spite. I wouldn't hide it from anyone, such as his mother. But outside of that, I wouldn't even bother. I would definitely tell your boy. He is plenty old enough to know the truth.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody -
I am going to struggle a little bit with my R with God in this. You know the song about unanswered prayers? I have to accept that this is what is in God's Plan for me...
And I am proud that I stood up for myself and DS. I am going to have to pull myself together for him before morning. It's almost 2 AM here...
But I don't think I can go to sleep.
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Melody -
I am going to struggle a little bit with my R with God in this. You know the song about unanswered prayers? I have to accept that this is what is in God's Plan for me... God has sure been strugggling with you, Kim, and has had his hands full for about THREE YEARS trying to protect you. And he has done that at every turn. He brought you here 3 years ago when you were at the end of your rope and we helped get you away from the affair. You wouldn't even defend yourself in the smallest way at first. Now, you are strong enough to protect yourself when need be. Then when you allowed him to come back for more, God made sure you found out again! He has had your back for a LONG TIME even though you continually threw yourself in harms way. He has never failed you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am praying for you Kim. For you and your son.
I'm also praying for your WH because he has lost his way with God completely.
I've been through a situation similar to yours (2x cheating H, 7 years apart). I can really relate to what you went through tonight. It was sureal for me also the second time D-day, like I was watching myself in a movie. Couldn't believe it was happening yet AGAIN.
Be strong and know people here care.
God bless, Jo
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Yes, be very proud of yourself.
BTW, there's a song I heard today, by a female artist (can't remember who). It's country, and basically the gist of it is "you should've said no, and you might still have me. You shouldn't be begging at my feet" etc. If you've heard it...have a listen.
Might make you feel better.
I'd suggest a swift Plan B, but...I'll let the veterans handle this.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Thanks ML and Jo -
Thanks for your prayers.
ML - I am just going to have to keep rereading what you posted. Right now I am just sad. Things are starting to hit me hard right now.
The anger is subsiding and reality is sinking in.
WH is not here. I have kicked him out and our M is most likely over.
He doesn't give a flip about anyone but himself. He pretends to know about love.
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Yes, be very proud of yourself. Absolutely, be very proud Kim. You stood up for yourself and your son. Enough is enough. Jo
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KIM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH is not here. I have kicked him out and our M is most likely over.
He doesn't give a flip about anyone but himself. He pretends to know about love. I know this feeling, and understand. [[[[hugs]]]]
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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