That woman had no realtionship with God in the first place, she was the stereotypical hypocrite. All show for the crowd on Sunday to relieve her guilt, and as soon as 12:00PM hit, it was back to debauchery for the week.

Hah! I was giving three to one you would. Becasue I knew you would eventually do the right thing for your family (and her.)

$$$ buy a lot of forgiveness do they? I am now quoting 10 to 1 your wife gets to heaven before you do, adultery and all.


All good and the way it will likely play out. But you have some changes to make too, don't forget. You ought to know all this up front, being an MB grad cum laude.


Mucho welcome. You can have a lot more, too.

Not according to the rules.

orinthians 6:9
Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, [b]or adulterersr effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men,

Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. [/b]

Show her these for a good start.

And my favorite.

Luke 12:58
When you are on the way to court with your accuser, try to settle the matter before you get there. Otherwise, your accuser may drag you before the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, who will throw you into prison.

Well You're divorced now and I'm still married, very happily married 3 years into recovery. My wife HATED me when she returned. SO I guess I could have pouted and been pizzed off with her and gotten a divorce too because she did not fit what some consider essential to try and recover their marriage.

Like I said - it's not enough in the long run but it's good enough for a start and a shot at recovery as long as there is NC and a commitment to rebuild. That is plenty enough.

Oh Pariah - I never realised Adultery and fornication and effeminate was the unforgivable sin!

Whoops - that's more than ONE unforgivable sin.

Seriously Pariah - are you saying that God will not forgive an adulteror? Sure UNREPENTANT adulterors are in trouble but a repentant one is forgiven just like you are for your sins.

BK - well said.


Besides, the "issue of the moment" is not his wife's relationship with God, it is the adultery and his lack of a relationship with God (can't get much more "lacking" than being an atheist who doesn't even believe God exists). Therefore the "eternal state of her soul" is NOT "in play" here for any reason other that to "beat up" on the Wayward Wife. Likewise, USING the pastor to "God-talk" to her is just another means of manipulation through the use of something he doesn't believe in.

He needs to decide if he wishes to remain married or not.

Once that decision is made, then he need to be honest enough with himself to DO what either decision requires of him in order to successfully divorce or rebuild a marriage through true forgiveness and NOT "dominance."

"""That woman had no realtionship with God in the first place,"""

Great, I can take him off the suspect's list.







:-)

Alright all the bible thumpers outta my thread!

Okay, so she came back last night, family meeting, very emotional makeup sex, going to begin Harley, she's still sleeping downstairs cuz I say, being very lovely, that's the headline news.

In deference to your very disrespectful statement to people who may believe differently than you but who are sincerely interested in trying to provide you some help in your situtation....I accede to your wishes as one of those you don't like.

Good luck Mike.


P.S. Mike, when someone is drowning and flailing around, just how "picky" are they when someone on the solid shore who might hold differing spiritual beliefs tosses them a lifering or reaches out to them with a pole to help them get out of the water? My guess is that you would toss the ring back and bat the pole away from you and say something very cool like, "'no thumpers' thank you very much!"

Mike,

I have just finished reading your threads again with great interest. I read them again because you have said that you have practised MB principles in your M for years. It is a good thing that you made that statement because your words and actions would have never given that away. Cuz I say. What a MB statement!

That said, I will now bow out cause I fit the Bible thumpers description and you obviously don't want anyone or anything to interfere with your great wisdom and pride in handling this unfortunate situation.

God's Blessings,

Say

Dude,

I'd recommend that she get tested for STD's before you start banging her again...

I'm reminded of a story that I read over thirty years ago so I went looking.

If you Google this: Eight Cow Wife Patricia McGerr, I would be interested to read your thoughts about the story.

This is the first paragraph:
My trip to the Kiniwata Island in the Pacific was a memorable one. Although the island was beautiful and I had an enjoyable time, the thing I remember most about my trip was the fact "Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife." I’m reminded of it every time I see a woman belittle her husband or a wife wither under her husband’s scorn. I want to say to them, "You should know why Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife."

mikec

Seems to be enjoying way to much how he is able to rub WW's affair in her face.

One thing to be angry, hurt, or whatever. Another to be harsh for the enjoyment to inflict revenge pain.

TheRoad,

you are right. I need to be conscious of that. I know she is the one that really needs the attention and I need to change.

that said, it is 5 days since d-day, I have already caved and let her back in, and it is intoxicating to have attention and concern from her ofr the first time in 15 years. So, I'm at fault, and I'll try to change.

ForeverHers,

I want to dialogue with you and I think your spitirtuality is very misquided. Have you read the Koran? We have a different take on marriage and man/woman relationships. Come to my side and culture and ignore your own mores and beliefs.

Mike, your sarcasm is rather hollow for a self-professed "closet atheist." No Koran for you, no anything with any "god" in it.

Now I thought you wanted people who believe in Christ to vacate your thread, so why bother with the baiting?

Ya, I know, you're mad, you're angry, you feel justified in doing whatever you want to do in response, like using your wife and the pastor to get you something you want even though you don't believe a thing that their faith might believe. Those of us who have worked through the stage you find yourself in understand, and you are forgiven.

Continued wishes for good luck with your recovery efforts, if you decide on recovery, Mike.

Why is this the "issue of the moment"??? Are you saying that people who don't agree with your religious beliefs cannot save their marriages?

AGG

BK, I'm not sure the point of your post.

My post was what would work for me if I were in MC's shoes, and I had been implementing MB principles for 8 years and found out that my spouse had had an affair. It's not for everyone, as it obviously wasn't for you. It may not be for MC2.

I'm pretty sure you don't know my marital background beyond my sig line. Just so you know, I worked with Steve Harley for over two years before divorcing my H. I certianly didn't sit and pout or try to harm my then H, and I wouldn't recommend that course of action for anyone.

Mike, please consider reframing your decision to welcome your wife back into the home. Saying that you're pussying out, caving in, etc shows your action in the worst possible light.

Do you not respect the decision you made? Do you believe you made this decision in real weakness or in stregnth?

Personally, I think the cowardly decision is to cut all ties and go full-throttle divorce. Sure, it's painful, but it keeps all the control in your own hands.

By welcoming your wife back, you continue a relationship, and that takes courage. In a relationship, no one person is in control of the relationship. This is an act of goodness, not whimpiness.

If I were you, I'd seriously reconsider the sleep on the couch edict. There is something tacky about asking a woman you've just had sex with to sleep somewhere else. Granted she was tacky first, and her tack score is still higher than yours. Still, either sleep with her or not scr*w her.

Another atheist! Thank God!


I ac2ally thought this was pretty funny. My W would have as well, even back before we got M'd and she called herself a "Jesus Freak" (I don't think the term 'thumper had been invented at the time).

These days, she considers herself an agnostic, and I've said elsewhere I consider myself an atheologist (a term I made up and am rather proud of).

On 2 the subject at hand, though.

I'm again heartened by your allowing your W 2 come home, where you'll be better able 2 plan A her and get recovery going.

You do realize, don't you, that you're one of the rare sitches here where the WS has "quit the A" upon discovery? Granted, you pushed pretty hard, which was a risk worth taking in this case (because it appears 2 have paid off).

Now is the time, though, 2 follow the MB plans 2 a T, and entice your W back, fully, 2 the M so recovery can get started.

best,
-ol' 2long