I was inspired to actually go find the post, and it was on March 26 of last year. Page 38 of my thread, which now has 240 pages? Unreal. Has it really been this long?

It's worth reading mostly for Chrisner's responses:

How the SCQ Got Her Name

Read forward, not backwards!!! Hilarious!!!!

I got an email today from WW. Because I am hypersensitive from recent contact, I am somewhat triggered. WW recently got a kid cell phone. I asked him to start using it so that I would know when it was him on the phone as opposed to WW. Here's the email:

"Thanks for the stuff. If you do use sippy cups with DD3 you might want to double check the covers before you use them. One you sent was still dirty with I'm chocolate milk. I'm guessing someone didn't take out the plastic valve and wash them separately.

The phone will be kept in DD's bag. DS7 agrees that he doesn't need to take it to school. It can be charged with the same charger as yours. The one that came with his phone I will be keeping here.

Also I will be giving my Verizon phone back to you soon (along with the charger which you can choose to use for DS7 or not). When I do you can start paying your Verizon bill from your own funds. My cell phone number is 760-xxx-xxxx."

Okay, so before I say anything, I will stipulate that the plan B thing for me to do is to ignore it and not overanalyze it the way I am about to (I'm human). Also, under no circumstances will I reply to it.

So, on the surface, this is only mildly poisonous. If she is moving on, she doesn't need to keep the cell phone in our family plan, and I find it somewhat hurtful to me because I don't want her to move on. But then I thought about it a little more.

She's the one who extended our plan 2 years when she got the kid phone a couple of months ago, and Now she wants to get rid of her phone? Plus, Saturday was the first time she called me from the Infideliphone. Then, Sunday, she let DS7 call me from that phone. Now she emails me with her New Cell Phone Number, which is no longer in my area code, but is in the area code where OM lives.

At the mediation on Thursday, I basically called her out that OM hasn't made any move to divorce his wife and potentially lied to WW about it. So now I'm wondering if this cell phone thing is her response. 'See? We are going to be together forever. We share the same cell phone plan (and I want to make sure that you know it).' It just seems like she's pushing the cell phone thing at me a little too hard. Or am I overreacting? It's okay--you can tell me.

Here's the response I'm not going to send: "It's really great that you share a cell phone plan with OM. Let me know if actually makes a move to divorce his wife so that he can legally be with you. Or on second thought, don't."

Okay. Back to dark. Me me me me me me me. Me!

“If you do use sippy cups with DD3 you might want to double check the covers before you use them. One you sent was still dirty with I'm chocolate milk. I'm guessing someone didn't take out the plastic valve and wash them separately.”

Here would be my email:

Dear Darling Wayward Wife,

Thank you for you concern regarding the care and maintenance of “Sippy Cups”. I can not describe the shame and humiliation I felt when you so lovingly pointed out the error in my neglect. To assure you that this will never happen again I have instituted the following measures:

1) Each sippy cup placed in a Tuttnauer model 2540MK steam autoclave ($ 4,994.00 ordered on your credit card) for the prescribed ten minute sterilization.
2) Each sippy cup will then swabbed for bacteria to be grown in a Parter Medical Products Model 3561 100mm Petri dishes.
3) Each Sippy Cup will be sealed and labeled with the corresponding Petri dish containing the bacteria sample.
4) After a ten day growth period the Petri dish growth medium will be inspected. Approved Sippy Cups will moved into the general use population of Sippy Cups.
5) Failed Sippy Cups will be returned to the Tuttnauer autoclave for re-sterilization.
6) Unacceptable bacterial growth will be forwarded to the University of Colorado Medical School for identification testing and bio-hazard disposal.

In addition I have contacted Richard Belanger who invented the “Sippy Cup” which he later licensed to Playtex for production. I bet you did not know that Mr. Belanger now serves as a design engineer at Adhesive Machinery, a company he helped form, and has been issued several patents related to glue guns. I also used your credit card to order one of Mr. Belanger newest glue gun designs. His take was as follows:

“Thoroughly clean the cup (especially the lid and plastic stopper) between uses. Liquid can easily become trapped in the nooks and crannies of a sippy cup and valve, leading to the growth of bacteria and mold. If you can't wash a sippy cup right away, try to at least give it a good rinse. If that's not possible, drain any remaining liquid and take it apart. Periodically check your lids and valves for damage or mold.”

When I told Mr. Belanger of my subtly more aggressive plan he replied, “Yeah, that should work too.”

Hopefully these steps will fully address your concern about the future care given the “Sippy Cups” under my authority. Thank you again for pointing out my woeful and hideous neglect.

Love and Kisses

Sdguy038

Wow, CJ. That's another great one. Thanks.

I've been thinking about the triggering and trying to figure out why things have been getting to me over the past couple of days. My actions have been okay, but my thoughts haven't. I've been obsessing about the Sippy Cup Queen.

I think the significant thing was at the mediation, when I found out that she doesn't know what's going on with OM's lack of divorce filing and that he has probably been lying to her. I didn't really know whether the infidels had some grand plan or reason why he hadn't filed for divorce, but at the mediation I found out that WW really doesn't know that he has to. Which means that almost certainly he's been lying to her. I know this is to be expected, but getting confirmation that he really is that big a POS and that she really is that clueless did something to me. Gave me hope? Or maybe just showed me an angle that I feel like I should be able to exploit somehow. The whole Problem-Solver-I-Should-Be-Able-To-Fix-This thing again.

It certainly threw me off track--to the point that I'm worrying about what she was doing at the baseball game and trying to discern meaning from the cell phone thing. I know what I need to do--get back to focusing on me. What she does is what she does. I Can't Fix It. Let it go. Be Still.

Thanks again for the suggestions and coaching. This place, you people, and the support you have given me have been such a blessing I can't imagine where I would be without it.

Sippy Cup Email Number 2 (4 Days Later)


Dear Darling Wayward Wife,

Sensitive to your extreme concern, I did not want to leave you out of the loop regarding the ongoing Sippy Cup situation. There have been a couple minor setbacks in my plan but I really feel I have it under control now. Remember that the next time you see the kids that they can tend to exaggerate stories at their age.

The Tuttnauer Model 2540MK steam autoclave arrived yesterday and what a beautiful machine it was. It looks like something off the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. I wanted to start using it right away but discovered that it was wired for 230VAC 50/60 Hz and as you know the only available outlets left in the kitchen are 120 VAC. Fortunately, I found an electrician who was able to squeeze us in on a time and a half emergency basis to get a new outlet installed. It did require a lot more wallboard cutting than I anticipated but I also found a wallboard guy for a pretty reasonable price. Let me know when you get your bill on these so I confirm there’re not ripping you off.

By the way, Mr. Belanger’s glue gun arrived as well and I have to tell you it is quite a piece of work. Who knew a glue gun could hold so much glue? More on that in a minute.

With the new outlet installed I got right to work trying it out on the first three Sippy Cups. Everything seemed to be going great so I used the 10 minute sanitizing time to put together the new glue gun.

After a few minutes the house started filling with a bad odor of something melting. It was only then that I found out that the sanitizing temperature of the Tuttnauer reaches 273 degrees and the plastic they use for a Sippy Cup has a melting point of only 175 degrees. Who the he!! Knew these things got so hot. I am very disappointed that Mr. Belanger being an engineer and all did not advise me of this when I called him with my original plan. When I called him back today to tell him about the poor results he replied, “Yeah, I didn’t think of that.”

Well long story short, the Sippy Cups became Sippy Cup Goo and really got into the workings of the autoclave. Unfortunately, while I was unsuccessfully trying to scrape the Sippy Cup remains from the autoclave, DD3 found the unattended glue gun in the living room.

It’s kind of funny how much the glue gun resembles those blasters used by the storm troopers in Star Wars. Well you know DD3’s fondness of Star Wars sooo…….. The curtains are definitely shot, I think we can patch the carpet but I am not too certain about the couch.

I tried to use some solvents to get up the glue but all that did was smear it around and fill the house with some pretty biting fumes. To get the kids out of the fumes I decided we should check into the Four Seasons for the night. We did get there just after midnight and since this technically would be your day with the kids, I charged the room to your card. Have you ever seen the prices of the stuff they keep in those mini-bar refrigerators?

I am thinking of just going back to the rinse, wash and disassemble advise regarding the care of the Sippy Cups. That would probably work okay.

I will keep you informed on the progress.

Hugs and Nooggies

Sdguy038

PS: I called my attorney today to be sure he got the autoclave added to your list of marital property.

I regret to inform you all that upon emptying the dishwasher today (from having been run a couple of days ago), one of the "clean" sippy cups I removed still had the plastic insert attached. Clearly I am in need of the enlightenmight that the Goddess (of Sippy Cups) Herself provided me. I am aghast at this turn of events, particularly since I had just about convinced myself that I wasn't responsible for the Sippy Cup In Question that so unfortunately was transferred to The Goddess.

My mother, you see, has taken to following my thread and informed me today how much she enjoyed all the discussion on sippy cups. She also said that she (having spent some time with me recently) was probably the one who had washed the sippy cup without removing the plastic insert (she being somewhat less familiar with Sippy Cup technology, given that they weren't available when I was a child). She went on to say that she probably would have done it on purpose had she known how much fun the resulting discussion was going to be.

Thus, I thought I had found a scapegoat for the source of the Negligent Sippy Cup Cleansing. After today's discovery, however, it is apparent that I am every bit as negligent with respect to Sippy Cup Hygiene. Maybe we are both guilty. Perhaps the Sippy Cup gene just doesn't run in our family.

Alas, I feel I must immediately inform our court-appointed mediator and have our agreement amended to include specific language on the use, care, and (most importantly) cleaning of Sippy Cups. I have also sent a personal message to Richard Belanger, notifying him of my gross parental inadequacy.

From: The Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe

To: Sdguy038 in care of Marriage Builders

Dear Sir,

A random internet search has found this site as containing significant reference to our client’s product “Sippy Cups”. As legal representatives of ACME Sippy Cup Industries we are requesting that you immediately cease in your forum conversations regarding the possibility of bacterial disease outbreak and their unsubstantiated connection to our client’s product.

Furthermore after our review of your posts concerning your inability to properly care for and maintain the product as manufactured by our client we are requesting that until which time you have completed a course on “The Use, Care, and Maintenance of Sippy Cups” as taught by a certified “Sippy Cup” instructor, (eight week courses available at select WalMart stores), that you cease all use of our clients product. We would ask that you convey this request to your mother as well.

Non compliance with our request will require further attention from our firm.

Best regards,

Huey Dewey

I got an email today from WW. Because I am hypersensitive from recent contact, I am somewhat triggered. WW recently got a kid cell phone. I asked him to start using it so that I would know when it was him on the phone as opposed to WW. Here's the email:

"Thanks for the stuff. If you do use sippy cups with DD3 you might want to double check the covers before you use them. One you sent was still dirty with I'm chocolate milk. I'm guessing someone didn't take out the plastic valve and wash them separately.

The phone will be kept in DD's bag. DS7 agrees that he doesn't need to take it to school. It can be charged with the same charger as yours. The one that came with his phone I will be keeping here.

Also I will be giving my Verizon phone back to you soon (along with the charger which you can choose to use for DS7 or not). When I do you can start paying your Verizon bill from your own funds. My cell phone number is 760-xxx-xxxx."

So much for the wayward one pursuing "true love", huh?

I'm pretty sure none of them actually want to D.

Wildhorse74: Done, and waiting for the court system to mmmmooooooovvvvvvvveeeeee....

You still got the cat?

I had another observation to share about the Killer Bees...

She'll arch her back and puff her tail out at me to try to get me to play with her. Rip around the house, jump out at my legs from blind spots, but then come sit on my lap and purr at me later.

Anyway, I'm off this afternoon to sign the MSA. Wish me luck!

I vote to put you on the list.

Then went out for dinner with friends from Chicago in for a conference.

Saw the SCQ at DD5's soccer game today and had some mildly angry moments--thinking about all the stuff I'd like to say but won't--typical stuff.