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I'm with the others, Amazin. If you do not want a face to face and don't believe you can handle it, don't do it.
It won't be your last chance.
If you go in now, before you are prepared, you will lose. You will come out MORE hurt and LESS sure of yourself.
Don't give up the ground you have already gained.
You will know when you are ready. Wait until then.
If she files, she files. I know how hurtful that will be, but you can't control it. If she is serious, it will happen eventually anyway. Don't give in to her scare tactics.
Like sdguy said, remember to breathe.
Fox
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All the more reason to avoid communicating with her, especially face to face. In the face of all that Fog, you would 1) be hurt, and 2) probably lose your cool and LB her badly. Lose-lose. Don't do it.
When you get a chance, how about posting a summary of your situation? You might get more traffic and advice that way. posting a sumary... What do you mean? like a short sinopsis of my situation from the begining? or just what has occured since yesterday? On this thread? or a new one? How about posting the email she sent me.... Well I didn't have a face to face with her. In one of the emails she sent me yesterday she said she was going to email me at work today... I haven't heard a peep out of her today. And I haven't done anything to try and contact her. Strange.... she was trying to contact me anyway she could yesterday. Work email, home email, work phone, cell phone... and nothing today. Amazin
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Whatever it is she's after - make her reach for it.
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Here's the email she sent me. Good Morning,
Happy Late Thanksgiving,
I think its time for you and me to sit down and discuss our marriage. I think we both know that its not going to fix itself, or mend. I also think we both know that you are not in love with me, as I'm not with you anymore. Our time has passed, and come to an end.
I think the easiest way to do this would be for you and I to sit down and come to some sort of agreement that way we can both go, with a plan to make it easier emotionally, and financially on both of us.
I know you think I'm an idiot and don't know the law or what your doing.
But I do. Just let me know what you want, and we can compare list.
That way its easier on everyone.
You need to do whats right for everyone, and not let greed get in the process. If I don't hear back from you I'm going to assume that you don't wany to come to some sort of agreement, and I will go ahead and file for the divorce.
I just want to move on with mine, and my daughters life without us having to drag all this into the mud. I think you and I can come to an agreement.
Have a good day.
Mrs. Amazin
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Whatever it is she's after - make her reach for it. Ya know.... I was thinking about that... She's all raring to get a divorce now that Step Daughter has all her foot surgery done. She was draggin her a$$ for the last 11 months. Not in any hurry at all. I think it's getting close to tax time and she's thinkin that if there's nothing in writing then she's going to get hosed on the taxes again this year. Oh well.... not my problem...
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Not a peep from her.
I'm stressed... and anxious.
I'm trying to be still but it's hard.
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Here's the email she sent me. Good Morning,
Happy Late Thanksgiving,
I think its time for you and me to sit down and discuss our marriage. I think we both know that its not going to fix itself, or mend. I also think we both know that you are not in love with me, as I'm not with you anymore. Our time has passed, and come to an end. Please don't talk to me about it and make me see what a fool I am. I want this to be easy.
I think the easiest way to do this would be for you and I to sit down and come to some sort of agreement that way we can both go, with a plan to make it easier emotionally, and financially on both of us. I'm worried about ME and I need this to be easy. I think I can talk you into being "fair" - my version of fair.
I know you think I'm an idiot and don't know the law or what your doing. I am afraid I'm an idiot and I don't really know the law or what you are doing. Please let me talk you into being "fair" - my kind of fair.
But I do. Just let me know what you want, and we can compare list. Give me your list so I know what I am up against. I won't give you my list, though. I don't want you to know what I am up to.
That way its easier on everyone. That way it is easier for ME.
You need to do whats right for everyone, and not let greed get in the process. This is just priceless. Don't make this too hard on me. Don't be greedy and selfish like I was when I chose to abandon my family. If I don't hear back from you I'm going to assume that you don't wany to come to some sort of agreement, and I will go ahead and file for the divorce. Do it my way OR ELSE. Boo Hoo I'm going to bluff and threaten you so I can have it my way and everything will be "fair" - my kind of fair.
I just want to move on with mine, and my daughters life without us having to drag all this into the mud. I think you and I can come to an agreement. I think I can talk you into an agrement that is "fair" - my kind of fair. I don't want all the "mud" I created to be out in the open. I want to hide and pretend what I did is just fine and I don't want to have to deal with consequences of my actions.
Have a good day. Maybe if I'm nice, you'll be "fair" - my kind of fair.
Mrs. Amazin Oy. Don't respond, Amazin'. She knows you are vulnerable and this would be the best time to "talk" and be "fair." MAKE her file. It takes effort, it takes thought. They are asked tough questions and have to reveal some truths - and that is just in the consultation with their attorney. Let her hear from her attorney that she is on shaky ground. Her view of "fair" might just change. Gather your strength and don't meet with her until you feel like you can handle it. Don't just feel like you can "get through it." KNOW that you are prepared to truly be fair. Hang in there. Fox
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I'm with Fox. That's all Fog-blather. She translated it perfectly for you. You don't want to talk to this woman right now.
I can't remember how long you've been doing Plan B, kid situation, that kind of thing, which is why I suggested the summary. Have you ever consulted with the Harleys?
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(((Amazin))) I don't even KNOW what to say about that email....  She is an awfully presumptuous woman though, ain't she???.... So here's what you need to do.... Given your stressed out state, you need to take care of you. Between this and your teenage terror, you need some "Amazin" time....so,..... I ORDER you to get a massage before the weekend is through. Don't give me any crappy excuses, just do it.....a good long hour...even better, spring for the hour and a half. I KNOW you have been doing well with your money, so don't tell me you don't have it.....have it be your Christmas present to yourself. Now, if money is an issue, look up your local tech. schools (around here they go by Vatterotte, Midwest Institute....look it up under schools, then in the tech. school catagory...). Usually they have a massage therapy program there and they do massages for around half the cost of a salon......around here the going rate for a massage is $60.00 per hour at salon, $25 per hour at the schools..... Now, go and do this. It will do YOU a world of good to get some of that tension released...... YOur situation calls for emergency relief..... After that, you need to find some sort of organization to do some volunteer work. This will help occupy some of that free time AND I suspect you will find it will something you ENJOY doing.....can't hurt. Lots of organizations need volunteers, so get busy. Go with an organization that specializes in something you enjoy...ex. if you enjoy just being around people, go visit an old folks home or a VETS organization....if you enjoy sports, visit the local Boy and Girls Club.....do SOMETHING, before you end up doing SOMETHING you regret...(like contact Ms. Foggernaut....).... not2fun
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I ORDER you to get a massage before the weekend is through. Well... I dont' know about the massage thing... I've been going to physical therepy for my shoulder. Not really the same as massage therepy but simular. After that, you need to find some sort of organization to do some volunteer work. I've been going to a divorce support group at church. I'm going today. They have a movie that deals with the holiday blues. "Surviving the Holidays" http://www.divorcecare.org/I'll think about the massage thing.
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I can't remember how long you've been doing Plan B, kid situation, that kind of thing, which is why I suggested the summary. Have you ever consulted with the Harleys? Yes, I had a couple of sessions with Jennifer early this year. My summary: We've been married 7+ years. She's an alchoholic. Things were terrible late last year. She decided that she wanted to separate. I found out about the affair last December. She moved out shortly after that. I didn't expose based on the advice I got from Jennifer. I tried a long distance plan A. Then I exposed in May. I've been in plan B since then and the only contact I've had was the other day and once in September. (She called when I was asleep and I answered the phone) We don't have any kids together. She has two from previous relationships and I have 3 from my first marriage. The two youngest girls (her 16 Y.O. and my 15 Y.O.) still talk to each other all the time. And hang out on occasion. But I haven't seen my WW since???? April? March? So... there's the skinny...
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Well... I dont' know about the massage thing... I've been going to physical therepy for my shoulder. Not really the same as massage therepy but simular. Nope, not even close.... Uhhhhh, nice try....BUT....I ain't buying it.....just go DO IT.....it will really help you relax..... And about the volunteer stuff,,,,,its something for YOU to do to help OTHERS.....the divorce care is great, BUT I meant you go volunteer and help others...... not2fun
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maybe I should try a DIFFERENT approach...... PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE..... WITH A CHERRY ON TOP.....  Not2fun ps...you know if I didn't care about ya, I wouldn't be on your tail like this.... 
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BTW...
She did send me another email today. (at my Home email) It didn't say anything. Just that her email server at work went down on Monday and wanted to know if I sent a reply....
Whatever.
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maybe I should try a DIFFERENT approach......
PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE.....
WITH A CHERRY ON TOP..... That made me laugh.... I needed that.
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I recommend the massage, too. It's something I started doing semi-regularly about the time I started yoga. One of the things you get starved for in Plan B is touch. Massage maybe isn't the kind of touch you're really missing, but it is physical contact with another human being. And it's therapeutic, and it's relaxing.
Great advice from N2F.
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I recommend the massage, too. It's something I started doing semi-regularly about the time I started yoga. One of the things you get starved for in Plan B is touch. Massage maybe isn't the kind of touch you're really missing, but it is physical contact with another human being. And it's therapeutic, and it's relaxing.
Great advice from N2F.  ......see Amazin, I CAN give good advice.....sometimes... :RollieEyes: not2fun ps...SDG, thanks for the backup.... 
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