You give great advice not2fun.

Thank you.

While I was at my Divorce support group one of the ladies brought up massages. She said somthing about going to get a hot rock massage. The conversation wasn't really directed at me, but I found it interesting that it came up. LOL.

I've never done the hot rock massage, usually because I like the other so much. Last year I had a two-hour massage where a 20-something Swedish girl painted me with some kind of seaweed goop, massaged my scalp for a half hour, then I showered off the goop (alas, without the Swedish girl), followed by a full body massage. Outrageously expensive, of course, but it was Nirvana! You know how a dog will start scratching at the air with a hind leg when you're scratching them in just the right spot? That's how I felt when she was massaging my scalp. I managed to keep my leg still, but it was dicey there for a while.

I was taking care of myself.

Try one of these places:

Massage Envy

Thanks SDG,

There's one just up the road from work. How much does it usually cost. What's the difference between a sweedish and a deep muscle massage?

I expect they have an introductory rate of $39, which is a pretty nice deal. N2F's numbers sounded right to me--going rate seems to be around $60 or so.

Swedish is fairly light touch, designed for maximum relaxation. Deep tissue is more intense pressure to work on an injury. This can be great for your body but not necessarily as relaxing.

The other day I had a massage from a big woman with iron hands who I'm sure was a deep tissue specialist. At the end, she said "I hope that was a good mixture of pleasure and pain." My shoulder and back had lots of knots, and she pressed pretty hard.

Therapists generally ask what you're looking for, and I usually say something like "mostly relaxation, but if you find something you want to work on, go ahead" or I will tell them if I have something that's hurting, and something seems to be hurting pretty much all the time now. Just say something about relaxation, and they won't totally work you over. They usually ask if the pressure is okay, too, although it's hard for a guy to admit if it hurts.

Thanks SDG,

I'll look into it.

I think I'm going to take my 15 Y.O. daughter to the base and go swimming this Saturday. My other daughter is working on her senior project for school. She's been job shadowing at the dentist office. Then she has to do a presentation in order to graduate.

SDG,

In one of your earlier post you said something about a love letter option.

My plan B letter was like a love letter. If I send her any response to her email it would be something like that. Very short, a statement choosing marriage.

There once was a man who's ship had wrecked and he was flailing about in the sea. He called to God, "Please God, save me....Help me Oh Lord"....

Then a fishing boat came by a told the man to come aboard. The man politely refused stating that "God was going to save him...".

A little while later a cruise ship came by and told the man to come aboard. The man again, politely refused stating that he had called out to God and God was going to save him....

All the while in between ships, he prayed to God and called on Him like never before...

Some time later, a worker's boat came by and told the man to come aboard. The man, quite exhausted by this time, politely refused insisting that he was a good man and God was going to rescue him.....

A short while later, he drowned.

When he got to heaven, he asked God, "God I called out to you. Praised you, prayed and begged for you to come and save me. How come you didn't save me??"....

To which God replied, "I sent 3 boats, what more did you want from me....."....

How does this story apply to you???

GET THE MASSAGE.....










PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE....

not2fun

OMG.....SDG...YOU HAVE TO TRY ONE OF THESE.....

I had one last spring on the cruise (it was part of a package deal) and it was the best part of it. It feels like a regular massage but with HEAT....It was a sliver of nirvana. I highly recommend it.

Also, since you liked to scalp massage so much, I also suggest getting a facial (I'm pushing it, I know.... :RollieEyes:).They massage your face and scalp during one of these as well. It is VERY good for the skin as well....and you know what??? Being "metro-sexual" is IN right now.....


not2fun

Yeah, this is what I meant. Staying dark and not saying anything is probably best, though, especially if you're comfortably dark and your endurance is okay.

If you're really not sure what to do, you can always schedule another session with Jennifer.

Sounds great, but I'd have a hard time getting past the name

and I can't say that helped much. . . but I'll think about it. Thanks for the suggestion.

I GOT THE MESSAGE.....


Oh Wait.... That says Massage....

NO no no... I didn't get the massage... I got the message....LOL

LOL

There's the Amazin I know and love.....good to see ya back my friend.....

not2fun

Well I had an interesting week. This is long so bear with me here... and wait until I submit the Friday the 12th post before responding.

One of the mistakes I made as a parent was I wasn’t following through. (This was also one of the biggest complaints from my WW) I’m a pushover. I would tell my daughter “Don’t do this or you won’t get to do this...” She would do it... And I wouldn’t follow through with the punishment. I was training her that there were no negative consequences for breaking the rules. As a matter of fact I was probably giving her positive reinforcement for breaking the rules. BAD! BAD! BAD! Because of this I have lost control of her and my son is just about out of control as well.

Friday 5 December

My 15 Y.O. daughter got real ugly and mouthy with me. She was using the F word and basically telling me “F you dad I’m going to do whatever I want and you can’t do anything about it.” I told her if she didn't start treating me with respect I was going to start taking away privileges. To make a long story short she said she would leave... Since it was 19 degrees outside I opened the door and said "go, Get OUT" Then I left to pick up my other daughter from work. When I got back, my 15 y.o. daughter was walking down the driveway.

I called the Cops... In retrospect I shouldn't have because deep down I knew that she wouldn't be gone long with the temperature at 19 degrees...

So the cops come and get her description and ask if there's anywhere that she might have gone. I told them that she may have gone to her boyfriend’s house or possibly to (her step-mom's) my WW's house. So they sent a cop to the boyfriends and one to Mrs. Amazin's house.

Then the phone started ringing. It was Mrs. Amazin... I didn’t answer it... She called and called. She text messaged me. She said she was driving around looking for my DD. She kept calling and calling but I didn’t answer. My feeling was that this was her way of making herself feel better for what she was doing. She was not genuinely concerned about me or my kids. If she really cared she wouldn’t be having an affair. If anything she probably had an ulterior motive for looking for my daughter and calling me.

After about an hour my DD got tired of the cold and came inside. I called the cops and let them know she was home. An officer came over and had a talk with her. As soon as he left the phone rang again... It was Mrs. Amazin. My 15 Y.O. daughter answered the phone and they seemed to talk for a long time.

Saturday 6 December

The next morning the phone rang... 15 Y.O. must have had the phone in her room because it only rang once. About 15 minutes later my daughter brought me the phone and handed it to me. I asked her who it was but she didn’t say anything. I picked the phone up and said “Hello.” It was Mrs. Amazin and she said. “Are you all right?” I immediately hung up without saying anything.


Later that morning I decided to make Chili. While I was in the Kitchen I heard the phone ring. About 20 minutes later 15 Y.O daughter brought me the phone. It was my first wife. (The kids mom, Mrs. Ex Amazin.) She said “I heard about what happened last night. Maybe DD needs to go away for a while.” I said “Yes, maybe she can go back to the Midwest and stay with my Christian sister for 6 months. “ Mrs. Ex Amazin says “ No... She has school. I was just thinking for a few days. Maybe she could go stay with Mrs. Amazin.” (My current wayward wife and her boyfriend) I just about blew a gasket. I said “The only reason she’s offering to do this is to make herself feel good. She doesn’t care about me or my kids because if she did she wouldn’t be having an affair. NO WAY!!!” Not only no but HE|| NO!” Mrs. Ex Amazin say’s I’m confused.... I thought you wanted Mrs. Amazin back. Wouldn't this be a possible opening for that to happen?

Anyway... it turns out that my wayward wife. (Mrs. Amazin) called my ex wife (Mrs. Ex Amaizin) to tell her what went on the night before and if Ex Mrs. Amazin would ask me if 15 Y.O. daughter could stay at her house for a week. I basically told Ex Mrs. Amazin that I might let my daughter stay at someone’s house for a few days but it wasn’t going to be Mrs. Amazin’s. That I didn’t want my daughter anywhere near the OM.

Sunday 7 December

I went to church by myself because I needed some alone time without my kids. I was very stressed out and emotionally exhausted. After the church service I had a long talk with the woman who is teaching the divorce care seminar at church. After that discussion she basically started helping me by being a parenting coach.

Monday 8 December

When I get home from work my 15 Y.O. daughter asks if her mother talked to me about going to Mrs. Amazin’s house for a four or five days. I told her yes she did. And no you can’t because I don’t want you around Mrs. Amazin’s Boyfriend. Then she asked about going to one of her friend’s house for four or five days. I said not until you and I have a talk. Her response: F*** you dad I don’t have anything to say to you. My response: Then you’re not going anywhere until you start treating me with respect.

Tuesday 9 December

My daughter had me so upset and stressed out that I stayed home from work that day. After talking to my parenting coach. I went to http://www.bily.org/index.html (Because I love you. org ) (Thanks Pepperband!) and came up with some house rules for my kids. I had one set for my 18 Y.O. son and another set for my daughters. The set for my daughters has eleven basic common sense rules. And at the bottom is says...


Also in my son’s it said that regardless of whether or not he is living with his parents or somewhere else, as an adult he is expected to pull his own weight. And that includes pulling his own weight financially. So from now on rent for his room is $25 a week. I presented the rules to my son that day before he went to work. He signed the rules, and seemed a little hurt. Oh well, he needs to step up to the plate and grow up. It’s for his own good. He needs to realize that if he is going to live under my roof then he needs to respect my wishes. If he doesn’t want to respect my wishes then he is free to live somewhere else.

My 17 Y.O. daughter was next. I presented the rules to her after school and before she went to work. She got upset and started crying. She said she shouldn’t have to sign a contract to live here and that she wasn’t signing the rules contract. I took her to work and then wrote her a short note. I explained to her that it isn’t fair of me to expect a certain behavior from her without telling her first. And that the rules where there so that she knew what was expected of her. I couldn’t punish her for something that she didn’t know was wrong.

My 15 Y.O. challenge child was next. I’m a conflict avoider so I was dreading this. My sister gave me a short lesson about the 5 languages of love. And I think one of my daughters is “gifts” because she always wants wants wants. So in order to let her know that I still love her and to soften her up a bit I took her to an outlet mall and let her pick out a coat that she wanted. Then I took her out for a soda. We actually had a nice time. She started talking to me and opening up to me. (She said she has been secretly talking with Mrs. Amazin for a month or two... I’m not too keen on that... It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s just using her for information.)

When we got home I sat her down and presented the house rules to her. She got pissed and went off. She started cussing and using the F word again. She said if you get to make 11 rules then I get to make some rules. I said sorry it doesn’t work that way. She said “F*** you I’m not signing that.” I said well those are the rules whether you sign it or not. Later that evening she sent me a really nasty email. Here it is....word for word.

Wednesday 10 December

My 15 Y.O. daughter called me at about 2:30 to ask if she could go to the mall with her boyfriend and his mother. I said yes and asked what time she was going to be home? She said no later than 8:30. (One of the rules was a 9:30 curfew on school nights)

After work I went straight home to an empty house. My son was at work and my other daughter was at a friend’s house. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. My parenting coach told me not to do anything for anyone else for 2 days. I haven’t been able to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours a night. So after work I came home slept for about an hour, got up then went back to sleep and slept for 8 hours.

Thursday 11 December

The next morning after I got up and showered I noticed I had a message on my phone. I listened to it and it was the mother of my 15 Y.O daughters boyfriend. She had called about 10:10 and said she was sorry, she didn’t know that my daughter had said anything about being home at 8:30 or that she had a curfew. She said she left the mall around 9:30 to take my daughter home. She left me her cell phone number and her husband’s cell number. I found that interesting... (I let my daughter use my cell phone about a week earlier and she erased some of her friends parents numbers...And I wasn’t too happy about it.) I talked to my parenting coach and we decided that the thing my daughter wanted the most was to go to her female friend’s house on Friday and stay until Sunday evening. Because she broke the first house rule about treating everyone respectfully and another rule by not making home by curfew... She wouldn’t get to go... As a matter of fact she wouldn’t stay at anyone’s house until she wrote a sincere apology to me for treating me disrespectfully and cussing at me. The punishment had to sting.

I needed to get home by 5 so I could give my daughter a ride to basketball practice. When I got home that night I was sitting in my driveway when my 15 Y.O. daughter came out with the phone in her hand. She said it’s my friends mom... So I talked to her for a few minutes and explained that my daughter wasn’t coming this weekend because of her behavior. Then I went inside and told my daughter that because she was so disrespectful to me the other day and because she didn’t make it home by curfew she wasn’t going to her friend’s house or anybody else’s house until she wrote me a sincere and genuine apology. She got real pissed and said “F*** you! I’m not apologizing to you. At that she stomped off out of my bedroom and eventually went outside. I was very calm and I didn’t get all worked up. (Usually I get real irritated, but this time I didn’t, I felt like I was in control and not my daughter.) When she stomped off she forgot her IPOD.... because she was so disrespectful I confiscated it. Five O’clock came she wasn’t around so I left and went to my divorce support group at church.

Friday 12 December

I get home from work around 4 and stuffed in my door is a note. Here it is....word for word....




WOW!!! What a change... It’s like she’s a different child. I talked to my parenting coach and decided to reinforce her positive behavior by letting her spend Saturday night at her female friend’s house. And I gave her IPOD back. I’m sure I’m going to have several more battles with this child... But now I feel like I’ve got the tools to help her develop into a fine young lady.

and what about that MASSAGE???????

Sounds like you could REALLY use it right about now.....

not2fun