rb ,,,, i have also often wondered how you were doing. sorry i missed your previous updates.

you are one LUCKY fella and an AMAZING man. you have done very well throughout this whole ordeal. your w and kids are very lucky and show the influence you have had on their lives with your kind heart.

congradulations on the new HEALTHY addition to your home. i understand the rollercoaster of feelings while bonding with the little guy. before you know he will completely fill your heart with joy. it WILL happen.

you said in one of your past updates about how well your kids have adjusted to the situation. i know you will but keep your eyes closely on them. my kids taught me so, so much about forgiveness and compassion with the way they just accepted grace without any discord. it was truly a lesson i will never forget.

BRAVO GOOD MAN, BRAVO

I'm sure that your wife knows what a lucky woman she is. This no doubt will be much harder on her over time than it ever will be for you. I'm in awe of you. I wish you nothing but the very best because you certainly deserve it.

Runner,

Can't believe what a great human being you are to do this, far better than I could have been given the circumstances.

As an OC I can tell you that your OC will likely have to meet his biological Father at some point in his life, I know the curiosity was overwhelming for me.

Also how do you plan on handling OC's grandparents and other extended family on his biological fathers side?

God Bless
NJ

Thanks for all of the kind remarks.

As for OM, we plan on telling the baby, when he is old enough to understand, about his biological father, much like adoptive parents often tell their children about their birth parents. At this point, we don’t plan to have any more contact with OM or his family in the near future. We know that one day this child will want to know about his biological father and his family and that’s just fine. We would certainly encourage him to find them when he is older and he can have whatever relationship he chooses with them.

The primary purpose of the termination of parental rights was simply to avoid any custody or visitation issues which would keep OM in our lives for the next 18 years. From what my attorney has told me, he was very quick to sign the agreement and avoid the possibility of CS. It seems that the past 6 months have not been kind to him. He is now divorced and paying hefty alimony and CS payments. He also was forced to settle the A of A lawsuit field by his other OW’s husband to avoid the hefty legal expense of fighting the lawsuit. I guess Karma’s a b!#ch.

Pops, I want to specially thank you for coming back around and posting to me. You are a tremendous encouragement to me. Seeing how you have been able to love your little girl and make her part of your family, always gave me hope that I could do this. I know we still have a lot of challenges in front of us, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

Yep, and this way your M can really heal without the constant interference of the interloper. I love, love, love that xOM is getting his. TWO married women? Sheesh!

RB,

There was someone else that used to post on this site and did so for many years. His name is "K". His boy (OC) is now at least 10 or so. I don't have time now but if you were to go to the "Why women leave" portion of this site and look for posts by K or Francis (she asked him about his story) you will be able find his abreviated story.

It is much like yours and I know he does not regret making the decisions that you have made.

You have done well, you really have.

God Bless,

JL

Runnerboy, I applaud your patience strength and love for your wife. Forgive my question and no I wasn't familiar with your thread. The only reason I asked is that my fiancee has a beautiful daughter whose bio dad abandoned them while pregnant never to be heard from again.

Obviously protecting the innocent children is paramount, just wondered what the best strategy was in handling something like this.

I'm delighted for you and your family that you've found happiness again.

rb,,, you will be fine. i made a different decision with the contact part. which i feel is/was the right one for us in the long run.

your decision to have om's rights signed away will be very beneficial.

had i been able to see into the future i may have made that same choice. BUT not for the reasons MB promotes. I was not afraid of the A starting over. and om is not a reminder of my w's A.

the troubles i did not foresee were my w's angst with om being in the picture when grace was very young. it definately caused her a lot of heartache. desrved or undeserved doesn't matter. it was still heartache that i may have been able to avoid had i choosen your path.

i think this choice will be a huge benefit in your and your w's ability to recover.

Runnerboy you continue to be the most amazing person here on MB. Your FWW is the luckiest woman alive. I hope she knows this.

Myfamilyilove, my first XH abandoned our DS when he was a year old because he didn't like the court's decision over custody (long story). I met WstbxH when he was almost 2 and we moved in together when he was 3, so he really has no memory of having anyone else as a dad. I'm not sure what age we first told him about his bio father, but he got more details as he got older. I did keep in touch with his grandparents - visited them and had them visit us - so he always had a line of communication with that family. XH contacted him for the first time at the age of 20. DS still considers WstbxH as his dad and calls XH by his first name.

Bumping for Indarkness....


THIS is how you handle a situation when WW is pregnant

Study well......

Not2fun