Quite the opposite actually. Steve recommended no exposure the first time (everyone here was screaming to expose) and only recommended exposure to OM's W. This needs to be blown open expose at work, everywhere

I still have no idea how to get a hold of OMW. Her cell has been turned off since yesterday, it goes straight to voicemail. The house phone just rings and rings, no answering machine, and she hasn't returned any of the emails. It appears that she just dropped off the face of the earth.

The only thing I can think of is that she is out of town for business, but there has been nothing in OM's emails to indicate that.

should i wait to re-expose to WW's mother and sisters until I talk to OMW? If her mother and sisters know, they will surely call WW, and she will be able to warn OM. I really don't feel like waiting until I talk to OMW I really don't know when that will be.

As hard as it is, I'd give the OM's W another day or two.

I wouldn't be surprised if your calls show up in the OM's chats with your WW before you hear from her.

so far this morning, there has been nothing in the emails that indicates he is suspicious.

Mispost.

The traffic on this thread has significantly decreased over the last week. There are now only 2 or 3 people that consistently reply. Thank you Mike_C2 and jmwc95.

To the rest of you who used to post on this thread, I'm sorry if I have frustrated you by not acting on your advice. Please understand that it is much more difficult for me to take the actions you are recommending than it is for you post them. That doesn't mean that I don't truly appreciate all of the time you have taken to help me out. Thank you for your help and concern over these past few weeks, and I invite you to please join the discussion again.

To update everyone to the current situation, WW and OM have begun a PA as of last Friday (12/12/08). I have discussed the situation with Steve Harley, and he recommends telling OMW and WW's mother and sister's (like you all recommended), but not to expose at work. His reasoning is that since we are younger and don't have kids, exposure for the purposes of airing dirty laundry will only drive WW further away. You can read my posts from yesterday to get a more detailed explanation of steve's position.

Yesterday, I tried to contact the OMW via her cell phone, home phone, and email, but haven't heard a thing. Her cell appears to be turned off since it goes straight to voicemail without ringing. Nobody answers the home phone and there is no answering machine. She hasn't yet returned my emails. It is almost like she doesn't exist anymore.

I have considered driving to their house, but they live 2 hours away form my work and an hour from my house. Driving there during the day would be a waste because she will be at work, and going there at night won't work because OM will be home too, and WW will expect me to be home with her.

I have though about getting a P.I. to find where she works and her work number, but haven;t contacted one yet to see how expensive that would be, and how long it would take.

Right now I am holding off on telling WW's mother and sisters, because once they know, the cat is out of the bag, they will contact WW, and then she can warn OM.


Thanks to everyone who has posted on this thread, and again, sorry for frustrating all of by not acting sooner. I could really use everyone's opinions on these new developments.

thanks again,
TC9

no, i would leave my cell on, but maybe she is somewhere that doesn't get cell service.

If she were not taking my calls, it would at least ring, unless she blocked my number from her account. The very first call went straight to vm, makes me think the phone is off. I guess there is a chance that OM blocked my #, but would it still go to voicemail if my # was blocked, i don't know?

I have also called her cell from my office phone, a number she wouldn't know, same thing, straight to vm.

I wouldn't read a lot into it. some people let their electronic communications lag for a few days, and I suspect a SAHM might be one in that category.

Send her an email return receipt requested.

Same EXCUSES, just a different day.

You will get replies, when you take some form of ACTION!!! People just get tired of wasting their time on someone who simply REFUSES to help themselves.

TC --

Do more research. Can you find OM's sister, parents, or other family members?

Maybe they could contact OMW and let her know she needs to speak to you?

Otherwise I would hire a PI and get more info. Now.
Before this gets worse....


And -- why haven't you confronted your wife? I think you need to do that -- you don't have to disclose your plan to expose OM to his wife.

i agree, I am in the process of taking action right now. It may not be exactly the action you are recommending, but I am doing something.

the first thing she will do is warn OM. The last time I confronted her, her first question was "have you told OMW."




I was able to find some of her family members. But, when I asked steve about exposing to OM and OMW's family, he said I should leave that up to OMW. I have called OMW's parents house just to see if I could get another # for her, but nobody answered.

Well, so far, it's been over 3 weeks and 28 pages of NOTHING.

Let us know when you are ready to START!!!

started yesterday.

I wasn't suggesting exposing to them -- but using them to find new ways to get to HER.
If you need to disclose the reason, I would not hesitate.
They are going to know sooner or later.

Yeah, I heard :RollieEyes: ... you made an ATTEMPT "yesterday" to expose to OMW, but only left a message and are now using that as your excuse du juor for not exposing further.

Like I said ... SAME EXCUSES ... DIFFERENT DAY!!!

yeah, but do you think want to risk pissing off the one person who should be my closest ally in this situation? They will know sooner or later, just not sure it is my position to tell them. I would have less of a problem exposing to OM's family than OMW's

The plan is to start exposure with OMW. Just because yesterday didn't work doesn't mean I should completely abandon the plan I worked out with Steve and just tell the first person I can get on the phone.

I am in the process of contacting OMW, I haven't given up. Going about this recklessly would be foolish.

BS.

If you do it from a position of care and concern, there is no problem with you exposing this to OMW's family if you have to. This [censored] is their son-in-law. They need to know what is going on so they can SUPPORT her.

Just call -- ask if they can help you get ahold of OMW. Tell them it is urgent and is in regard to OM.