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Tully - I think some total fluff reading would be good for you. There's a children's section a couple paces away from where you're currently sitting. Amelia Bedelia is a fun series for a mom to review with children's bedtimes in mind.
There's a video section under construction. Some of my favorites include "The Gift" and "Pay It Forward". No romance or distractions like that but more, setting your chin and making a choice in the face of the pain of an anniversary, to make life better for you and your children.
Breathe. Grieve. Then take your mind off what you can't stop, prevent or correct.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Good idea, Kayla. When I was in Plan B, I got so tired of reading marriage books! And anything with romance or infidelity was OUT! Better to limit reading and television to something lighter.
Sometimes that is hard. I remember women in my bible study group saying what a wonderful book "The Lovely Bones" was. It turned out to be about a murdered child and her mother's infidelity. YIKES!
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Thanks for the word of welcome B. When I was in Plan B, I got so tired of reading marriage books! Me too. I moved on to more general books about self-discovery, authors like Louise Hay, or part of series like..Chicken soup for the soul... I find them very uplifting. Usually I have several books started...like, one for travelling to work (public transportation) and one for bedtime... See them as visiting 'friends'.
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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When I was in Plan B, I got so tired of reading marriage books! Until recently I only read one marriage book SAA. I also read boundaries. I really didn't feel like reading. My sister sent me book to read last March. But I didn't read it until about a week ago. It was called Hope for the separated. By Gary Chapman. It was a pretty good book.
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I also go for videos of things I really like the first time but haven't seen for years and which have absolutely nothing to do with the current situation...like, right now I'm slowly working my way through the "Prime Suspect" series(s) w/Dame Helen Mirren. Its been so long that although the plot is familiar, I can't predict it - kind of like visiting with an old friend.
WRT books - am just starting one that a friend recommended - "Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment" by Ariel and Shya Kane. Shifts the focus somewhat from "change/growth" to "being" - which for me is change and growth, LOL! I'll report back about what I think once I've gotten further into it.
Me - BW/BS Age: 56 Married 7 1/2 years Divorced Jan 2010
EA began '07 PA began Jan '08
Found out July 2008 Found MB September
Plan A 09/03/2008
I filed D 10/31/2008
Dark Plan B began 11/09/2008
Emerged from Plan B 11/15/2009
Court date (final) scheduled for 12/16/2009
Divorce Final January 2010
Plan B recommenced upon Divorce
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Hi Miriam, Shabbat Shalom, how are you doing on this best day of your life... 
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Shabbat Shalom, Queenie:
Am doing fine. Has been a rough week for some reason but today, better. Have been working at home all day (I'm Central time zone, U.S., another one living in Texas) and now getting ready to return a business call, go mail more business "Happy Holidays" card and go to the gym.
Et vous?
Me - BW/BS Age: 56 Married 7 1/2 years Divorced Jan 2010
EA began '07 PA began Jan '08
Found out July 2008 Found MB September
Plan A 09/03/2008
I filed D 10/31/2008
Dark Plan B began 11/09/2008
Emerged from Plan B 11/15/2009
Court date (final) scheduled for 12/16/2009
Divorce Final January 2010
Plan B recommenced upon Divorce
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WOO-HOO! Cafe Plan B! Had to drop in and do a belly dance!! My tip jar is over there on that mahogany table...   Charlotte
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Shabbat Shalom Queenie and Miriam.
Hope things are going well, despite the snow (Queenie).
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Belly dancing tonight? Karaoke tomorrow night! No love songs allowed.
I'll start out - Bon Jovi - It's My Life, it's now or never! I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive!!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Belly dancing tonight? Karaoke tomorrow night! No love songs allowed.
I'll start out - Bon Jovi - It's My Life, it's now or never! I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive!!  Awwww....Bon Jovi? How 'bout Pat Benatar? "Hit Me With Your Best Shot?" That'd be a good one for BS's. LOL! CCR!! Yeah!!! Dem's some good singin' tunes! Charlotte :wavingsanta:
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Black cat
Nine lives
Short days
Long nights
Livin on the edge
Not afraid to die
Heart beat
Real strong
But not
For long
Better watch your step
Or you're gonna die
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Is that something recent? I don't listen to the radio. CD's, mp3's, etc. instead. Too many commercials on the radio. Anyhoo--the last Bon Jovi stuff I even know about is from a while back. Quite a while. Probably....let's see....I remember Livin' on a Prayer! Never was a BJ fan, though.
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Black Cat is vintage Janet - 1992 era.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Ok - I can take a hint - karaoke night is a bust! It's the night before the night before Christmas. I'm setting out presents and hints for presents - These are the kind of presents we can only give ourselves. The gift of a kind thought in the face of a lot of "invalidation" of our worth. The gifts of true affirmation - I love books. Before I found the life-restoring books I've mentioned, I read a lot of trash. It took me getting married and realizing the conflict of "romance novel stuff" makes a lousy life and it no longer appealed to me. So I set my treasures out on the end tables under the reading lamps in the cafe - well-worn copies of scripture, biography, philosophy, inspiration. The music in the background plays softly - Kurt Bestor Christmas - my favorite quiet time music for the season. In my car on the way home, I might be playing Mormon Tabernacle Choir "Sing Choirs of Angels" and singing along at the top of my lungs, but in this cafe tonight, where not many have visited, I want comfort and peace and assurance for my guests. The assurance that you are of great worth. That someone knows of your loneliness for the season. And that you are truly not alone!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Beautiful, Kayla..................
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Thanks, Kayla.
I am spending the holiday at the home of my best friend of 30+ years. I'm glad I came here - was really desparate to be with loved ones.
My WH and the kids are at our house - the one I left - in another state from where I now live (I was one of those who left the state, moved away).
I have a question - I always text the kids on birthdays, holidays - and I want to text them tomorrow morning (Christmas) - but wanted to add WH to the text list - message simply to say "Merry Christmas - I love you all."
I'm in Plan B, have been since Nov. 9 - have had no direct contact at all with WH. But this seemed like a way to remind the entire family (including him) that I still love them all.
I know Plan B says "nope". I don't want a dialogue. I don't want to hear his voice. My gut says to do this but don't know if I should trust my gut.
What do you think?
-- in the meantime, getting ready to bake cookies - one of my favorite things - and make latkes - also one of my favorite things - in this Hannukah/Christmas household!
:happyhanukkah: :happyholidays:
Me - BW/BS Age: 56 Married 7 1/2 years Divorced Jan 2010
EA began '07 PA began Jan '08
Found out July 2008 Found MB September
Plan A 09/03/2008
I filed D 10/31/2008
Dark Plan B began 11/09/2008
Emerged from Plan B 11/15/2009
Court date (final) scheduled for 12/16/2009
Divorce Final January 2010
Plan B recommenced upon Divorce
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Never mind - spent the day baking cookies, shopping and hanging with my friends - answered my own question. Dark Plan B is where it's at. There's a lot to be said for staying the course.
Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate this day -
- M
Me - BW/BS Age: 56 Married 7 1/2 years Divorced Jan 2010
EA began '07 PA began Jan '08
Found out July 2008 Found MB September
Plan A 09/03/2008
I filed D 10/31/2008
Dark Plan B began 11/09/2008
Emerged from Plan B 11/15/2009
Court date (final) scheduled for 12/16/2009
Divorce Final January 2010
Plan B recommenced upon Divorce
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you got it girl, no contact, no texting, darkness is the best Plan B we have to work for.
What kind of cookies did you bake? Happy Chanukkah..... :happyhanukkah:
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Quote of the Day: When you have a great pain in your life, you need a greater purpose Cynthia Kersey - author of "Unstoppable" Love this! So a greater purpose today? It's nearly new years. What are some goals and purposes you want to be about for 2009 - greater purpose - bigger than you! that drives you beyond the great pain in your life?
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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