Amazin - Wow. Well, your daughter didn't like not being able to manipulate you. Good for you for standing your ground.

While it is completely shocking and sad, I think this is the start of a better life for her. She will get some help, and she will realize that you mean business. Backing off and letting her ruin her life is not the answer.

You are doing amazingly well. Hang in there and know that changes are coming.

Prayers to you from California.

Thanks Believer and Princesssmeggy.


Yes... She thought this temper tantrum and acting out would get her somewhere and it backfired on her... Now she's having to reap the concequences of her actions... That's a dose of real life and exactly what she needs.


Yes it is shocking and sad... But your right... Ultimately this is a good thing because she will get the help she needs.

Hang in there. This has been a horrible holiday season for you. But you are manning up and taking care of business.

Your daughter will HATE being locked up in a mental ward. Many years ago, that happened to me. I was involuntarily taken there, was very depressed. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

More prayers from CA.

Thanks SDG.... Greatly appreciated.

Amazin,

I'm so sorry. I've been there before. Are you sure she isn't on drugs? That's exacty the way my DD acted when on them. She has a mouth that won't quit too. One day though, she said some things to WH that I would loved to have said. Something about him keeping his $#%@ in his pants. This of course was after Dday. I quite enjoyed the little tongue lashing that he got about the A.


Do not back down though. That was always my downfall because it just wore me out. If you do it will be a no win situation.

I know it's easier said than done, but you only have 3 years. You can get it under control and have 3 good years or let it get out of control and have 3 miserable years. Take Door #1.

Yeah, I was going to suggest drugs too. I was in that scene in high school, I recognize the symptoms. Better to consider it than to pretend it couldn't happen.

Before you say "not MY daughter," remember statistics say one in six. Think about it. My D18 knows at least a dozen kids who use, out of about 50 friends. They really do just see it as part of being a kid to do it. No morals involved.

Anyway, more prayers your family's way from Texas. And what an ex. Jeez. I'm glad your kids are getting good role modeling from you.

I got an oh by the way... and it's much less important than my daughter.

After church today I went to a resturant to eat. I go in... the waiter seats me. I'm eating my meal and I notice a woman get up and go into the restroom.

Hmm.... could it be?... I watch... Yep... it's my WW.... she's there with her boyfriend...

I stayed right where I was at... They had to walk right past me to pay their bill and leave. They got up and start walking toward the register... I kept my head up and my chest out.. (To steal a phrase from Mimi.) I looked them both in the eye as they walked past.... They couldn't even look at me... Both of them looked away...I watched them walk past... (head up chest out) They get up to the register. And I take my gaze off of them... Then I looked back and caught both of them looking at me... They quickly looked away again... Still couldn't look me in the eye.

She looked awful... From a distance she didn't even look like my wife. It wasn't until they were close that I was sure it was her. She's a very skinny woman and always had that mediteranian olive skin tone. She looked paper white and her eyebrows looked like they had been totally plucked out... Not even the same woman... That's the first time I've seen her since... March...April?

I'll go through her room... but I don't think she's doing drugs... I got enough high school dumb A$$ expirance in that area to sniff it out.

I recently got her a prescription for Adderol. But I think that's a bunch o crap... I don't think she's got ADD. The doc that wrote the prescription was an idiot. The first question out of my mouth was "Are her actions invouluntary or is she choosing to act this way?" He took 45 minutes to tell me.... I don't know, here experiment with these drugs and see if it makes a difference. Then let me know."

My step son has ADHD and ODD. I've dealt with that before and from what I see she ain't got it.

Hi Amazin

You really are doing an "amazing" job considering everything.

I just caught up on all the drama with your DD15 and it got me thinking that maybe there is more going on than a very strong-willed child. Her behavior seems to be very extreme, and it escalates very quickly, with extreme anger and she seems to have no ability to pull it back. Nor does she seem to have much impulse control when she is like this. I hate to bring it up, but is it possible that she may be bi-polar? It's worth asking the doctors who are evaluating her.

I have a very dear friend who is dealing with this with an even younger child, and her child's rages are way out of the scale of normal, even for a strong willed child.

I know that you already are but, hang in there!

It is possible... Her mother is Bi-Polar. I believe my father was Bi-Polar, but in the 60's it was probably called a chemical imbalance.

I will certianly ask the Doctors to look into it. But.... from what I've read about Bi-Polar... It's not a sudden change like my daughter has...

To fit the description you have to have a cycle (Going from a low to a high) at least 4 times a year.

I recently saw something interesting on T.V. about Bi-polar disorder. I always thought someone who was bi-polar just went from being depressed to being on an elated high... But the show I wathced seemed to indicate that someone can also go from a depressed state to an angry state. And my daughter seems to fit that description.

They have a much better understanding of bi-polar now, and there are some real "fun" types-like fast cycling (which sounds like your DD) and also some that just do the depression cycle. With children (including teens), it can be trickier because they also have such huge hormone changes with every growth spurt. Since your DD is in the middle of adolescence, there are all kinds of brain changes going on to complicate matters. I'd definitely bring up the history and ask the doctor. Hopefully they have someone there who is a specialist in adolescent psychiatry.

Adderoll is an amphetimine (sp?). If she's not ADD, then she's getting the effects of the drug speed... agression, paranoia, running of the mouth, grandiose talking, etc. If she knows this is speed, could she be taking more than you know? This would explain some of the outrageous behavior too.

Just a thought.

Someone else told me to keep an eye on the adderol. They said that teenagers are taking it to school and selling it. Or using it like speed.

Based on her behavior and when she started taking it... I don't think that's it... She's only had this prescription for a week and the other prescription was very low dose to experiment with... about a weeks worth of pills.

Amazin.....

Glad to see ya hanging in there....(HMMMMM...ready for that massage NOW????.... :RollieEyes:...if THIS doesn't get you to go get one, than I give up.....)

Anywho, way to go on the WW. and GOOD FOR YOU, stickin that head out and chest up....and man, how you controlled yourself around OM....you DA MAN....

I loved your rant on the exW too. Actually I thought you were a little easy on her, but that may be my SRN talking...

anyway, you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight....


not2fun

Oh Amazin,

My heart is praying as hard as it can for you and your daughter right now. My sister is a cutter. I understand that pain to want to hurt yourself and at times have tried cutting myself, however, it was always with something not sharp enough to do any damage, just carry the marks.

If you can somehow remember that G-d doesn't have grandchildren and that he is hurting for your daughter more than you could ever possibly, maybe it can bring you some comfort knowing G-d is fighting for her as hard as he can.

I that G-d reveals the next indicated step for you to follow and that it begins to lead you down the path of healing along with your and HIS child.

Thank you Queenie.

I'm really kind of aggrivated right now...

I called the treatment facility to find out how my daughter was doing...

After a long wait they told me they couldn't give me any information unless I had the password. And that I'd have to get the password from my Ex wife...

Grrr...

That has to be irritating. I'm sure your daughter is doing fine and getting some rest and counseling. She is probably very restricted in what she can and can't do. Most likely, she can hardly wait to get out of there and back home.

At some point, you need to be involved in the counseling, since you are the parent that is being responsible.

And you need to set boundaries and rules before she comes back.

What are the chances she would go live with her mother?

Oh, WOW, Amazin!

You are getting good advice and support here, I just wanted to let you know that prayers are going up from Montana, too.

What is your custody arrangement? If you do not want to be phased out of DD15's life, don't be. You have a RIGHT to know what is going on with her.

Obviously, your ex-wife has not been there for the long haul with DD15 - YOU have been.

Get IN there, Amazin....find out what is going on. If they refuse you, get a lawyer.

Don't lose her now......

Fox

This bears repeating! ITA - She is a minor and YOU have custody.