Well... I'm not sure there is much to report. W was suppose to come over at noon so I could see the kids who I was phsyically unable to see in the last week and so me and her could talk about all of this and such. Her father had to work, so she had to watch his kids, understandable. Then she was suppose to come over a little after 4:00PM and didn't come so I called and hour later. She had said our youngest had just woken up from a nap and W, OM, and her father were playing guitar hero when I called. I lost it. She knew I've been waiting for this day for a week now. We've talked about it several times. I lost it and asked her Why doesn't she think about someone other than herself for once, and she replied with "Now you want to think about someone other than yourself huh?" Yes, like I've said, I hurt her emotionally in all sorts of ways, which led to her leaving in the first place, and now I've stepped back and seen the bigger picture and realized how truely wrong I was for that.
Yes, the marriage has been tarnished by both of us. Everything she tried several times to change me, is what I am doing now to help change present time.

I think it's over. I honestly think that this is over...

She was with the other man????

Also preggers with the other man's baby?

Wow. It is beyond words how selfish and insane and hostile this woman is. I fear for any innocent children that have to be raised by that ..er...ah....woman.

I am sorry you ever met, married or had kids with her. Now you will have to pay and pay. But if you divorce at least you wont have to pay by being around her cheating, hostile, selfish, self.

Have you exposed the affair to the OM's girlfriend? I think you need to do that. This guy is attacking your family, and you are sitting back, doing nothing, and waiting for your wife to "understand" the error of her ways.

Your wife is disrespecting you by not coming over to talk and being with the OM.

She has no future with him, but she doesn't see that.

Get a plan and start fighting for your family.

Alright. I let OM girlfriend know that OM has something to tell her and not to back down until he does, if fails, then I will let her know what is happening.

I didn't want to tell OM gf because it will cause more drama for me, however, you're right I do need to protect myself.

Man!!! Her Father was playing Guitar Hero with the OM? What a role model he must have been for her!!! I think you got your answer on how things will go.

My dear, are you READING and UNDERSTANDING what everyone is saying here? I know you are stressed and upset, but letting the OM tell his girlfriend what is going on is a HUGE mistake. He will tell her that you are a nutcase, completely out of your mind and very paranoid, and that you think that there is something going on between your wife and OM. This is called damage controll.

So his girlfriend will think that you are crazy, and meanwhile he will continue assaulting your family.

No. Me and OM Girlfriend used to be friends, but have since stopped talking for about 2 years now, so we're somewhat familiar with eachother, its not like I've never met her or anything like that.

Myself, OM, and W father work at the same place. However, W father was never in his daughters life until about 4 or 5 years ago, so I think he feels like he has to follow whatever it is she wants, but that is still no excuse as a person. W step father who raised her, her whole life is absolutely disgusted over all of this.

I don't understand why you want to let OM tell his girlfriend about what is going on. Just straight up tell her yourself. Wouldn't you want someone to do that for you? There is no telling what OM is going to say to her, so it's best that she knows the truth as soon as possible. It's going to be hurtful and devastating to her, also. Please, just be honest with her and tell her.

Tell OM girlfriend, bring her a picture of your wife, pregnant with his baby, give all the wwwifes contact information to the girlfriend and leave it for a day or so and see what happens. I am not saying you should take your wife back. But at least it would give the affair a snowballs chance at ending if you told the girlfriend.

Hey maybe the OM, your wife, and the girlfriend can all live together and raise the OM'as baby when it is born. The wifes dad can help with finances. She could care less for you, man.

Alright.. I did end up telling OM girlfiend. She heard what I had to say, she said "WHAT!" and that was the end of the conversation.

W came over tonight. Over all... She really had nothing to say except she see's no changes happening and that we can never find a middle ground on anything, which had not been fully true until this affair started. In ending she said that right now is not the right time to work on our marriage. Divorce to me is if you do, do it... that means the end for life, there's no looking back. I mentioned divorce to her and she hesitated and said she dont know about that because we would never happen again if we were to get a divorce. I stated that I cannot sit around and still be married to someone who is with OM forever. Our kids were here and getting a little cranky, so the conversation ended exactly like that.

So... I guess this is it... thank you all for trying to help me out in everything you said. I still have alot to learn, but hopefully in time I will recover from this.

Thank You, John P.

JP don't just disappear.

even if you end up getting divorced there are many people here who can give you valuable info, a forum just for that, and plenty of info on just dealing with the kids after divorce. plus all the stuff to help you learn and grow for your next relationship. and YES there will be another if this one ends.

what you need to do now is get the ball rolling so that YOUR kids will have a good roll model in their life. obvioously your w is not one, nor her father ,nor the om.

sitting around playing guitar hero may sound like fun and good times but what about the true things those kids need in life. now is the time to be proactive in taking control of their future

I underatand. I know my kids need everything that I can offer, and more as I learn the more ways and values of life.

I went to work this morning just a wreck, parked my car, and ended up leaving. I went to my W place she is staying with her fathers family. Everyone was still sleeping, so I let myself in so I could talk to her and see my kids. She's been the only person I've been close to for 5 years. I don't have any close friends because they create more b.s. that I don't need, so needless to say it's like I'm losing my W and my best friend. I walked downstairs to her room, opened the door and saw OM, W, and my oldest son sleeping in the same bed. Once again, another hard thing to swallow.

This is quite unbelievable to me. are you telling us a "story" here?

If you walked in and saw them together, then what did you do? What did you say?

WTF kind of woman lets her children sleep in the same bed as her stolemeat??????

You need to document, document, document...

And someone needs to "parent up" for those kids...cos all I see YOU doing is rolling over and taking what she's dishing out, and all I see HER doing is being a $lutpuppy.

Lord!

THESE are the people raising children????

Man up and get your kids.

No, this is not a story. No body woke up when I was there, so I just left. Believe me I would have liked nothing more than to beat the sh*t out of him, but like I said as my kids were there, and as much as I want to fight him, I have to be the bigger man.

I get my kids as often as I like. I got them last, will have them tonight and tomorrow. She is not selfish on letting me see or be with my kids.

SHAMEFUL ... BOTH of you!!!

Have you NO pride, self-respect ... nor apparently parenting instincts???

You may CLAIM to be one thing, but your ACTIONS indicate otherwise.

What was I to do? Wake up my kids and take them, waking everyone in the house up(Her fathers 2 kids sleeping, also)

We have both taken good care of our kids, her choices now aren't right, but I'm doing everything for my kids when I do have them. Imagine the idiots killing and torturing their kids physically and such.

Everyone has their own opinion, but I don't need this bashing of how I'm a bad father, especially now.

Dagger... if CPS knew that your wife was allowing your child to sleep with her and OM, and that you did nothing about it, you would LOSE your children. Did you know that?

Nevermind the affair, you MUST protect your children. Yes, you could have woken them up and DEMANDED that your child be removed from such an ugly situation. You could have called the police right then! You could have called CPS right then!

No one is bashing you, we're trying to get you to WAKE UP and to MAN UP. Who cares if you woke everyone up in the house? What kind of father (FIL) allows his daughter to carry on like that in his home?

Shake things up. Let it be KNOWN that you will not tolerate this any longer. Sheesh...

I started to reply, but then seen where princessmeggy beat me to the point I was going to make, so I'll just concur with her advice.

Are you seriously setting the bar so low on your parenting skills that you are satisfied being only above those who torture and kill their own children???

You are one of those BH's who come hearing CLAIMING to seek help, but REFUSING to do anything that would actually help their situation. You are just looking for someone to commiserate with you about how bad your WW is, and not really interested in helping yourself OR YOUR CHILDREN.

What you did (sorry, DIDN'T do) this morning was inexcusable and showed your true colors. I feel sorry for your children.

yet she allows her children to sleep in the same bed as a man who not only isn't her husband, but who is NOT THEIR FATHER???

And you claim she is a "good mother?"

Are you serious?????????

There is NOTHING good about this.

This man has been in PRISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF???

I'd have had the police come and assist me in getting custody of the children.

At least I would have called for a welfare check so that you'd get documentation of WHO she is bringing around the children.

Daddy up.

These kids have NO ONE defending their little mores and values...so they WILL grow up to be

JUST

LIKE

HER!

SEEN it happen already. I'll be damned if I'll stay quiet and see it happen while I've got air in me to scream about it.