|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
He's Ba-ack!
I think it's good that you didn't make an ashtray. As soon as SSS mentioned it, my immediate thought was "Ah, a blunt object!"
I figure a psych ward is like any hospitalization. I've only been hospitalized once for illness. I welcomed those few days of not having to clean, and cook, wonder if the laundry needed doing or who was going to answer the phone... All I had to do was sleep and eat what they brought me and be left alone. When you're sick enough, that's pure bliss.
I can see how a psych ward would be a real downer, but at the same time you had just been through a huge upheaval and the break from "real life" was probably exactly what you needed.
I agree that SSS is a gem of a woman. Funny, strong, articulate, unbelievably generous and caring.
Y'all have a lot of work to do, to be sure, but you don't have to do it all right now. It's a marathon, not a sprint. The only thing you have to do is keep at it. You're allowed to live and enjoy life while you're doing all this, you know. Good seeing you posting again. That is very helpful, Turtlehead. Thank you. I guess it is best to kind of take a deep breath and move my thinking toward the long view. It all seems so immediately overwhelming right now, I could easily go overboard in the early stages with my personality. As far as "blunt objects" are concerned, the only thing that is blunted right now is my affect a little bit after starting that med. LOL
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,510
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,510 |
That makes more sense, although I also think if you ask Steve, MB calls for all details asked for to be truthfully confessed to the BS.
I had to get them, for me it turned out knowing was better than imagining. They were related under the threat of poly, so I believe they are accurate. And, in all honesty, WW is no gymnast in the sack, so there wasn't anything too surprising in there. As she said in summary, it was "basic" and only 5 or 6 times, not enough to get bored and sophisticated.
I'm sure it was all so emotionally wonderful they didn't need to...<eyeroll>
Last edited by Mike_C2; 01/28/09 09:39 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Yes, I agree that the WS should provide answers to any questions that the BS has.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Hope that you are still doing okay..................
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
Hope that you are still doing okay.................. Thanks, Believer. You are a very nice person. It was a rough day yesterday. I am working on Steve Harley's assignments for me, which are different from SSS's right now, and some realizations about how, what, and why I did what I did to BW are so painful, and the details so awful, I am overwhelmed by the enormity of what lies behind me and ahead of me. I am just not the person I thought I was or ever wanted to be. That is pretty devastating to deal with at age 61. I do find great encouragement and some hope from people's posts here. My own feelings pale in comparison to SSS's as a result of what I have done and been. She is just shattered. For the sake of this program, she has put me on ignore on this forum, which is good. I am slowly learning that everything that happened is because my only concern all my life has been me. I am the only one that has mattered to me. Total egocentricity. This has not been a real marriage, but she thought it was for a quarter century because of how adept at lying I have been, and the task ahead is to heal what seems like a mortal wound in SSS right now and then rebuild a marriage from the ground up, with only us as a concern, and the separate "me" gone. This just seems like Mt. Everest. Some hope and some encouragement is what I hang onto. I had nightmares all night the other night. In one, I was on some island near the edge of a cliff, and the cliff was cleaving away and falling off in places. There was ice everywhere, and people were after me. it isn't hard to see what that dream means. It was a perfect metaphor for what is happening to my ego. SSS is too good of a person for me to give up or let this slip away. I will never find anyone like her. Too many tears right now.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316 |
Hey GM... Something I've found very helpful in my own personal recovery was less focus on myself...Reaching out to help others here helped me in a way that self-focus never would have...and in doing so, I did learn a whole lot about myself - a very beneficial byproduct...(obviously you still continue to do your SH homework and do everything you can for SSS...and sure still post on your own thread.  ) Anyway, not sure if you have read it or not, but there is another wayward doctor on the board right now, Chewie...He seems very flip to others herein...I wonder if you might read his thread and perhaps post and get through to him in a way that maybe only another doctor could...What do you think? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
Hey GM... Something I've found very helpful in my own personal recovery was less focus on myself...Reaching out to help others here helped me in a way that self-focus never would have...and in doing so, I did learn a whole lot about myself - a very beneficial byproduct...(obviously you still continue to do your SH homework and do everything you can for SSS...and sure still post on your own thread. ) Anyway, not sure if you have read it or not, but there is another wayward doctor on the board right now, Chewie...He seems very flip to others herein...I wonder if you might read his thread and perhaps post and get through to him in a way that maybe only another doctor could...What do you think? Mrs. W Thanks Mrs.W. So, overwhelmed with it all right now, it is hard to get outside myself. I have so much to do with all this, there is little time for the forums. Gotta set up post-nup. Change all my Trust documents. Arrange for a horse sitter. Sign up for a weekend, along with all my SH assignments and life's regular demands. I will check out Chewie. Thanks.
Last edited by GreenMile; 01/29/09 09:57 AM.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
So, overwhelmed with it all right now It's like eating an elephant, GM. You don't open wide and swallow a whole elephant at once. You eat an elephant one bit at a time, chewing every bit 50 times, and waiting till that one bite reaches your tummy before you go for another bite. One Bite At A Time. Regards, Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
So, overwhelmed with it all right now It's like eating an elephant, GM. You don't open wide and swallow a whole elephant at once. You eat an elephant one bit at a time, chewing every bit 50 times, and waiting till that one bite reaches your tummy before you go for another bite. One Bite At A Time. Regards, Kimmy Thanks for the reminder. Seems like every day, we need to remember that all over again.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,510
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,510 |
I had nightmares all night the other night. In one, I was on some island near the edge of a cliff, and the cliff was cleaving away and falling off in places. There was ice everywhere, and people were after me. it isn't hard to see what that dream means. I had the same dream the night Obama won!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499 |
Thanks Mrs.W. So, overwhelmed with it all right now, it is hard to get outside myself. Well, good dr. just remember to breath.....and to remember it is WHAT you do with yourself from this point forward that will make you into the man you WANT to be tomorrow..... not2fun
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
I had nightmares all night the other night. In one, I was on some island near the edge of a cliff, and the cliff was cleaving away and falling off in places. There was ice everywhere, and people were after me. it isn't hard to see what that dream means. I had the same dream the night Obama won!  That thar is funny, even for a liberal like me. A laugh like that is very therapeutic right now. 
Last edited by GreenMile; 01/29/09 02:02 PM.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
You eat an elephant one bit at a time, chewing every bit 50 times, and waiting till that one bite reaches your tummy before you go for another bite. EEWWWWW that's just gross! I'll bet that tasted awful Kimmy. Wha'd ya do when you got to the rear of that beast? Did you chew 50 times or finally swallow some of it whole? 
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
I had nightmares all night the other night. In one, I was on some island near the edge of a cliff, and the cliff was cleaving away and falling off in places. There was ice everywhere, and people were after me. it isn't hard to see what that dream means. I had the same dream the night Obama won! OMG.......... I had that same dream the same night! lol
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
Honey, if it's deep fried or dipped in ranch dressing, I'll bet even elephant tastes good.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
GM, It all sounds pretty normal to me.
You didn't get where you are from eating too many bowls of Cherio's.
Just keep in mind, This too shall pass!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
Honey, if it's deep fried or dipped in ranch dressing, I'll bet even elephant tastes good. you must be a southern girl!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
Honey, if it's deep fried or dipped in ranch dressing, I'll bet even elephant tastes good. And I'll bet you never forget the taste, either.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372 |
GM, It all sounds pretty normal to me.
You didn't get where you are from eating too many bowls of Cherio's.
Just keep in mind, This too shall pass! Thnx, tst.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
667
guests, and
65
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
