Maybe just wait and see what other info you can come across.

Zambo,

I found an email just like this with my WW. Sorry to break it to you, but this noble rebuff you picture from WW is not likely what happened. You're telling yourself that because it feels better, but the odds are very high that they did stuff together.

How do I know this? Because I lived it and saw an email that is almost verbatim what he wrote.

None of these thoughts were running through his head when he had her clothes off.

Same goes for your sitch. This is a "really, I'm a noble man and you're not some sex object to me" type of CYA that he's doing to look noble to her.

And you can't do anything about it.

Accept the fact that your marriage is over and move forward with divorce proceedings with no mercy.

THAT is the only way that you will ever have any chance to restore anything, which is by showing WW consequences to having an affair.

Concentrate on getting your child back because you can't make your wife stop seeing this man and you can't control their actions at all.

Play your cards right and you can get custody.

THAT is your goal. Anything else above that is gravy.

I don't want my child around this guy.

what is CYA?

CYA?

Cover your A$$.

oh, yeah, that is exactly what the little snake is doing.

Well I have the hearing on the OOP on Friday morning. I am going at it without a lawyer, but have had good advice from a lawyer I am able to stay in contact with, and good advice from the fathers group that I joined.

Zambo, how did your hearing go today?

it just got moved to next thurs. consolidated with the divorce case.

The OOP got dropped!!! Next are the divorce hearings. I still have hope about our relationship. My wife is really depressed about all this, I know she feels bad, but she doesn't want to stop what she already has started.

I would forward that email to the other man's wife, pronto........

I have thought about it, but then I will lose any chance of monitoring future email. plus this guy is so crafty that he has his wife in the palm of his hand, his wife and mine are even having dinner this weekend together.

So get a picture of him and your wife having dinner and send it to OM's wife.

Either hire someone or get a friend to go and get a picture or set of pictures. Maybe you can catch them holding hands or kissing and have that sent to the OM's wife. If she stays in denial at that point, then she has real issues.

they haven't been spending time together at all anymore, so snooping is just going to get me in trouble, especially with all this in court now. I know that you guys will say that I am just being naive, but from her emails I see that she wants to be done with it, and he is holding on for dear life sending her scriptures and encouraging words. They haven't seen each other outside of work since the indecent in the email over 2 weeks ago. This guy is a crafty little piece of poo.

So in the end what are you going to do with all these emails if you are getting a divorce? Why let them get away with it and why let the OM's wife sit there looking like a idiot? If she knew and you didn't wouldn't you want to know?

But what if my wife doesn't go through with it, or changes her mind later? I am saving all of this, and it can all be brought to attention later.

What you're doing is called wishful thinking and denial.

You're getting a D. You can either get slammed in the process or you can take action and take the offensive.

I was passive and allowed myself to be dictated to. It took 3 years and thousands and thousands to get a palatable arrangement to see my kids.

Now you're sitting there, with a divorce underway, "hoping" and "wishing" it would go away.

Well, people on the Titanic could have hoped and wished all they wanted, the ship was still going down.

Those that took action survived. Those that sat around hoping didn't (and I know the full story, I'm trying to illustrate a point).

So now you're sitting there, in denial, while the WW is actually moving forward with a D.

It's happening. You can make the choice now. Do I wish to be a winner or a loser?

If you want to be a winner, then you take action to protect your rights as a father.

It's that simple.

I am hoping and wishing, for there still is hope, the God I serve can do mighty things, the only thing he won't do is override someones freewill. So I am putting this situation in His hands, but how He will work in the situation is very dependent upon my wife. I will hope, I will wish, but I will not make the mistake of assuming things are going to work out. I am doing what I need to do legally. Revealing emails is not going to be beneficial regardless.

I am not going to get slammed. I am quite prepared, and my wife is an emotional wreck(she's feeling guilty) and totally unprepared and her lawyer is a flake that didn't even show up to the last hearing.

So if you have solid proof of the affair for the OM's wife, why are you keeping it from her?