Been trying to think of things you could do to get you through the tough times, the trigger times, the shakey times when your H isn't able to help you.
Breathe.
Distract.
Breathe again.
Distract.
Repeat.
As for how to distract yourself? Distractions can range from a making a physical change in location to something very subtle that simply occupies your mind in a different way. Since you've been reading here, you've probably heard about picturing a stop sign or snapping a rubberband that's on your wrist. Other ideas off the top of my head to help distract you:
Play with your kids. (This can be so many things.)
Make a grocery list.
Read a magazine.
Sing a silly song aloud like "Sing A Song" or "Rubber Ducky" from
Sesame Street.
Call a friend.
Do a crossword puzzle.
Play solitare -- computer or real cards.
Bake something.
Post on MB.
Clean the bathroom.
Play an instrument.
Exercise.
Clean out the kitchen junk drawer.
Fix a household item that's been broken for awhile.
Do birthday cards for upcoming birthdays.
Sketch out your dream home.
Create a slideshow of pictures of your family to loop on your desktop.
Attempt a brand new recipe.
Rearrange the livingroom furniture.
Go hit golfballs.
Hand write a letter to someone who may feel forgotten -- an old girlfriend, a long-lost aunt, a mentor.
Pray.
Put together a care package for a U.S. soldier serving overseas.
Sew something.
Think up random phrases and see what they look like in other laguages through Google's translate tool.
Sort through your family's clothes -- too small, too old, too "what was I thinking?"
Something I've been doing more lately when I find myself wanting to dwell upon what I did... I found a piece of artwork that for whatever reason grabbed my attention. I impromptly bought it and put it in my office. It has many elements to it that are interesting to me and soothing at the same time. When I find myself going to that useless place, I consciously look at the artwork and study it. I immerse myself in its flow, texture, significance, color, and calm.
Is there a stil-life, abstract, or interesting picture, postcard, textile, statue, or anything around that you could quickly access that you could study during a trigger to get your mind off of things?
Peace, Spark-o-lotta.