Thank you, Mark. And I'd like your commentary if you're willing, as your insight always provide so much more for me. (That is if you don't mind, Sparkster.)

Agree with L4, Sparky...Call your doc! Anti-D's aren't supposed to be stopped cold turkey...We need a spanking emoticon 'round here!

((((Sparky))))

Mrs. W

Stopping cold will mess you up worse'n you've ever been messed with.

It's mental agony. Why wish that upon yourself? Your doc can help you wean off...w/out the torment.

Oh baby (cos, everyone needs to be called baby once in awhile)...wooza...I know that feeling.

Don't forget your vitamins!

(I know...I'm a pushy broad)

I would be honored.

MS, I did a 3 week wean off lexapro and still it gave me the crazys. Please please taper off don't go cold turkey or you may do something stupid!

I've got an appointment with my GP on Fri. Aside from just stopping the Lexapro, I've got a few other things that I want to talk to her about that sort of prompted me to stop cold. I want to make sure that my body is completely rid of it.

Night sweats
Periods every two weeks
Loss of hair
Weight gain (15lbs)
Depression
Zero sex drive
Hard to get to sleep / Hard to get up in the morning
Hard to stay on task
Anxiety attacks

My OCD is returning but right now, that's the least of my worries.

How long were you on Lexapro? I lost my sex drive, lost my eye lashes, had anxiety attacks, paranoia, sleep problems and weight gain on Lexapro. Going cold turkey will not help.

...But, Sparkey, you don't know if these things are caused by the Lexapro, your undeniable stress, your diet, your less exercise...

When I used to exercise a lot (6 days a week, 2 hours a day) my cycles were few and light. When I slowed it way down, they came back with a vengence. You are no longer working out 3 hours a day which is maybe why your body is reacting as it is.

I have no idea. I'm just brainstorming. I'm not a doctor. But I am worried about you. And messing with meds can be dangerous. I've witnessed this myself.

Please be careful and make sure you H is fully aware of what you're doing in case you need help and he needs to communicate to someone. I'm not meaning to be dire, but if you're suffering an anxiety attack and he needs to contact your doc, your H needs to know what do report.

3yrs straight. Tired of it.

I'll be ok. If she says to get back on it I will. Right now, I'm just frustrated with everything that's going on with me. Spartan knows everything and he's been keeping a very watchful, loving eye on me. He offered me a Xanax and I refused.

I used to be a happy person without all of this junk (or at least I think I was) and I just don't want to rely on it any longer. I want my body to regulate itself on its own.

I sorely miss training but even if I had my membership I doubt that I would go. My self esteem is so low that I don't even want to go out any more.

Spartan offered to get me a toy and even that I'm not wanting.

Shoot, am I even a woman any more?

Still at work and using a wireless modem to connect right now. I'll try to get back later tonight...Maybe????

Girlfriend, if you're having "periods every two weeks," I can state that you are positively and undeniably a woman.

Tell him to get you FunSlides. No one can resist 'em. My kids and I have a blast with them and they are a good work-out.

I'm trying to lighten the mood, Sparkster, because you need to stay strong. Your boys need you. All 3 of them. And when you feel weak, lean on Spartan.

You can do this.

*gasp!* I NEED THOSE!!!!! Just in time for the Santa Ana winds, too. "Sparky" won't just be a proper noun, it will also be a verb!

Passing for right now on the theological concepts in verse 15...

Christ is the reason that all things were created. The NIV says it,"By Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible..." It is in Him that we find our purpose and meaning. And He is actively involved in our lives right now. v17 "He...holds it all together right up to this moment." He isn't just sitting back watching it all unfold but has a direct hand in what takes place. Nothing escapes His notice. Nothing happens that isn't known by him. And even our miserable little lives only continue because He wills it to be so.

When we have sinned we cry out to God for mercy. We discover that He has been calling out to us all along. While we turned away to follow our own selfishness, He was calling to us to come back to Him.

Now as we approach we realize that we are so unworthy of His love and compassion. We fear that He will reject us. But we find that even though our own family might reject us, He will accept us, comfort us and return us to where we are once more safe from ourselves and our own evil desires.


He is speaking to captive Israel but the message is for us all. We fear the future and what it might hold. We feel that all hope is lost. But God says that He knows what plans he has for us and that those plans are not something that need to be feared. His plans are for good and not evil. They are plans to give us hope. His plans are better than our own plans and are in fact the best for us, even when they don't match what we want for ourselves. But we have already shown that what we want for ourselves is destructive, not in our own best interest and wrong. We can trust Him because He has only what is best for us in mind. We don't have to know all the details; we only have to know that He will handle it if we let Him.

And if we search for Him and seek His will for our lives, He will make sure that we find what we seek. If we long for things we don't have or run after selfish desires, we seldom get what we want. By looking for Him and His future for us, we can be assured that we will find it. And when we find Him, He sets us free from our bondage to our own selfishness and puts us back on the path that leads to where He wants us to go. He will restore to us all those things that we lost when we chose to turn away from Him.

Try to imagine a mother forgetting her nursing child. Imagine her abandoning that child. Around here we see it often. It is in fact a matter of human nature that when we choose to follow our own selfish ways we can even turn our backs on those we love, even our children.

God isn't at all like us.

He says that even though a mother might forget all about her own baby, He will not forget about us. No matter how far we go or what we do He constantly has us in his thoughts. He says that it would be pretty much impossible to forget about us and abandon us because He has engraved us on the palms of His hands.

And the word engrave means just that. It is taking a sharp object and cutting into the surface to create an image that remains beyond merely writing with ink and paper. It's as if He has carved our names into His own hands just as He carved His laws into stone at Mt Sinai.

As it says in Joshua, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Joshua 1:5)


This Psalm of David was written after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba. He not only committed adultery but had her husband killed after trying to cover up his sin and the fact that she was pregnant.

When the prophet Nathan came to him and showed him how incredibly wrong and selfish he had been and still was, David wrote Psalm 51.

Realizing that he has no basis for standing before God, David cries out for compassion. He recognizes his own sins and can't get it out of his mind. (v3) He accepts whatever consequences God might have for him. (v4) He recognizes that only God can repair the damage that he has done. He calls upon God to remove his evil thoughts and desires and to recreate in him a new and worthy heart, to rebuild him from the inside out.

And then in v16 and 17 David comes to a conclusion that we need to be reminded of whenever we find ourselves begging for another chance. What can make up for our sins? What can we offer to repay what we have destroyed? Can God be placated by any sort of sacrifice or ceremonial actions? Will saying the right prayer or saying the right things relieve us of our guilt?

To God the only acceptable thing we have to offer is our own selves, broken, contrite and at His mercy.

You see, God never stopped caring or calling out to us even in our darkest days when we tried to hide from Him because of our sin. He waited while we ran away and waited for us to come back to Him exhausted and having suffered the consequences of our wrong doing.

Even now He wants us to call on Him and turn from our belief that we can make things right. All He expects, all HE accepts, is our brokenness. Until we are broken, He can offer us none of what He promises. We can't earn it, but can only accept it and only by letting Him take over and fix the mess we have made of ourselves and our lives.

And that IS the short version...

Mark

Thank you so much, Mark. Instead of T/Jing MS's thread, I'll respond on my own. This is so relevant to me too.

I wonder if we'd get a discount for buying in bulk?

Mark1952,

I have printed out your post and will let it absorb through me. I have to many things to say.....but the first thing is a VERY heartfelt and humble "thank you". You are clearly a man who loves God and has a beautiful, clear relationship with Him.

I will respond as soon as I am able. Tonight I have counseling at 7:00.

My emotions swing from one extreme to the other. When I'm feeling good, it's TOTALLY good and vice versa. Right now, I am ok but I know that the rest of the day may present a downslide again for no apparent reason. Tonight, I see our counselor but will be going solo since Spartan has to go out of town for work until Sun. Don't worry...I have PLENTY to keep me busy. Work, kids, a weekend that is so packed that one error in schedule with throw everything off. I will be surrounded with friends from our church and I also plan to be HERE quite a bit. Friday I am off and I have my Dr.'s appointment in the AM, the kids' dental checkup in afternoon and of course I need to get my nails done which takes about an hour and a half. Did I say I also want to hit Element Coffee to do some reading in HNHN?

If I find idle time, I have plenty of paint in the garage to start another project. I just painted our kitchen and it turned out so killer! Would be nice to surprise Spartan with a painted den. He really likes it when I do stuff like that. And I like seeing him smile.

I think my hormones are way out of whack.

I was told I was peri menopausal at my last Dr. appointment.

And the upside (per the doctor) is I only got 10 more years of the PM symptoms before I'm all done.

Why does that sound like an eternity??? And why did SHE put it like that??

I'm around your age, too, Sparkley-chica...a smidge older, but not by much.

Vitamins...

(you can call me a nag, now)

Some of these hot spells make me feel like I'm taking a public shower!

I haven't given up the vitamins! I take a very specialized kind....Target brand multi's.