I am going to cal the new number this weekend but she has 2 other friends that are girls and she texts them all night too. They all 3 work night shift and the texting never stops.

Try calling from a number WW won't know.

Just try to hide your snooping til you know what's what. Maybe pretend to be a newspaper guy or something, who knows? Have fun with snooping.

Maybe I worded that wrong. I do not keep the kids for her for anything other than work and sleep. I do NOT let her go and have "nights out" or anything like that. No way no how.

You said you have the kids about 70% of the time and stated: "Seem to be a bit of a burdon on WW's single life plus when she wants to work OT."

Just asking... Are you certain it's work OT she's doing and not something else?

Yeah, I do. What happens a lot of the time is that the kids wind up wanting to come home when they are with her. Sometimes I let one or both come home.

WW stays broke right now and cant even afford gas for her car. She had to pay bills yesterday, got paid yesterday and is already out of money. lol


To be hones, at this point I dont really care if WW ever comes back. I am fed up with this and am simply going through the motions right now.

Would I like it if she came back and we fixed the M and all that? Yes. WIll her not ever coming back be the worste thing to ever happen to me? No. I'm so sick of it all that right this second I am just doing it for the kids and to let WW destroy herself. While I want her I do not need her and can do better.

Had the chance to go through WW's phone tonight. One of the numbers is one of her friends she hasnt talked to in about 2 months and the other was one of her friends who had her number changed. That was a relief.

Oh well, guess I just keep moving on.

This is why you need to extracate yourself from the drama and go to plan B, to protect what love you have left for her. If you already are past that point, then file for D and protect your custodial rights.

It waxes and wanes. It is why I think I will have to go to plan B soon, though. Some days I just want to hurry up to plan B and some days I want to stick it out with plan A a bit longer.

Jim has it right rusty

if you are losing your love for her and you still want to have some chance of recovery.. a maybe .. then plan A has to stop and plan B comes into effect.

However if you can improve and last out your Plan A a bit longer then do so BEFORE you do plan B. Because that means her last real contact with you will be all positive ones.

Have a good look at where you are and see what is best for yourself right now.

I am unsure if it is from losing love for WW or if it is gripping reality and knowing she may never come back and being OK with that. I am confused which one it is. Any time I see and am with WW I still feel like I love her as much as ever.

Rusty,

We can only cheer you on - you know the situation better than anyone. If you have the energy - keep going on Plan A. Just to note - you can go longer with Plan A when the WW is out of house. One good thing is that the A is out of ur face daily and you can disengage from the daily drama.

when you get a chance - read mywifeilove posts.

Go as far as you can go in Plan A, prepare for Plan B and when you are ready to remove yourself - go dark as possible. You want to create as much impact as possible when you remove yourself and meeting her emotional needs.

Thanks. Sometimes I think I come here to vent my frustrations and whine about wanting to go to plan B just to get it out of my system. I just know I have to keep plan A up as long as I can, though.

Maybe she will hurry up, find another job, and start withdrawal so I can start making LB$$ deposits.

That's EXACTLY what you should use this place for....EXACTLY
YELL...RANT...COMPLAIN.....WHINE....even cry. This is a rollercoaster ride from hell... NO ONE... can go through this and not feel all those things building up inside. BUT.....

LET IT ALL OUT HERE!!

Then...you will have the strength to NOT have to do it with your WW and LB your situation backwards.
Just let the wise people here know you are ranting..this way they will not confuse you and tell you to go to Plan "B".

If they think you are at the end..... they will tell you to do a "B" to protect any remaining love for your wife..That's what it's for.. But you said earlier that when you see her you still have strong love for her... OK then.... you can DO MORE Plan "A" IF.... you let all the frustraion out HERE!...And you'll do a better Plan "A" because you let it out...here.


This is a perfect plan...."The better the Plan "A" the more effective the Plan "B" if needed.

Good Luck and Prayers... Frank

WW called me last night and asked me to come over and watch a movie with her about 10pm last night. I went over and stayed about 2 hours.

Wound up talking through the whole movie, laughing and all that.

I didnt bring up any R talk but a couple of times she did.

Here is what she said last night.

She asked how I could love her because she has been so mean to me.

She doesnt know what she wants. She just knows she wants to be independednt right now.

Says she is torn on if she wants D, blah blah blah.

She thinks the girls will not be that hurt if we dont get back together.

She said probably 5 times that her asking me to come over didnt mean we were getting back together. I told her I know every time and the last time I asked her if she was trying to convince me or herself.

Is the internal conflict a good thing and she should lean toward wanting to come home if she gets another job and the fog starts clearing?

Overall it has been the best night I've had in 4 months. I was enjoying myself. Wish she would just wake up and put a stop to this foolishness.

I believe she needs a cranio-rectal extraction on that point!

Anything new?

Just trying to plan A when I can right now. Nothing really going on.

Well, been over a week since I posted. Need advice and insight really bad.

I went over to WW's house Tuesday night to hang out with the kids and WW when she asked me over. Had a pretty good time and when we got the kids to bed the WW and I actually talked about some stuff. So I need to know exactly how to proceed and all. Just keep on the same track, or what.

WW talked to me about how she is really confused about if she wants a D now or not. She said a couple of months ago she wanted one but now she is starting to not know. She said she is really confused and has no idea what she wants.

The A ended in February and she starts working a new shift at her work Monday and will never see OM. She broke it off with OM on Feb. 17 and I have found out that a couple weeks later she tried to start it back and he rejected her. So she put in to change shifts where she will never see him any more.

While I was there she walked to the store and left her phone. I took the opportunity to read the text messages. She only has a couple people she is talking to now and mostly just me. She does have a friend at work however she talks to and one of the texts she got from her really ticked me off. It said "you need to call your dad and tell him you want a divorce tomorrow. You need to hurry up and do it because you dont have the strength to do it on your own". She got that text on Sat. from her friend.

She doesnt like me "touching her too much" and stuff like that. So that is an EN she is blocking me from. What do I need to be doing? Do I still make myself less available to her or start really plan Aing like there is no tomorrow?

She is starting to talk about the A being a mistake and how bad it hurt the kids(but not me) and says that it just gave her the strength to leave. So do you do anything special for someone who wanted to be a WAW and had an "Exit Affair"? Or is it all the same?

I have decided on a deadline of July 1st. Does this sound reasonable?

Sounds like the A is still ongoing in some way shape or form...

Usually when someone blocks you from meeting needs they are getting them met somewhere else.