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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 20
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Joined: Aug 2005
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I haven't been on the site for 4 years. Back then marriage #3 was unraveling, and the collective wisdom of the readers and responders was superb.
With that in mind, my (our) current purpose is to save a new relationship. Very briefly, a love-at-first-sight meeting evolved into living together with blended kids for 8 months. A month ago we separated.
The short reason we parted, and I wrote to her recently, is "that I wasn’t enough for you and you didn’t like it. My shortcomings got to you regularly, and you dealt with them in the way that you knew best. And I couldn’t take the abuse".
Her version is "different - if I had been enough for you, you would have cared enough to pay attention to the details".
Before exploring the details, can a moderator, or one of the Wise, point me to a board that would be best to air out the conflicts, communication errors, and best practices to help us move forward positively? It would be dearly appreciated.


Martin 52
26, (10, and 7 at home) y/o kids
m x 3
Trying to build on something good
Joined: Oct 2008
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Emotional Needs would likely be the busiest and best fit, but, um, doc? Three failed marriages? How much work have you done on you, just you?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Aug 2005
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Thanks. The first marriage (< 2 years) was in response to an unplanned pregnancy, and only because of the pregnancy. The second (also < 2 years) was because of inertia. The third (11 years) was a true failure, and I think I paid the price. At this age it's easy to just throw in the towel, and accept temporary associations as the best it will ever get. On the other hand, there are a lot of years to go. So, we're here to tell our tale, and see what is suggested by those with an opinion. The hope is to learn something, and get through our empasse. On the other side we will either have a new tool to use, or will realize that it won't work. But in either case, we will both agree, and will move forward with confidence.


Martin 52
26, (10, and 7 at home) y/o kids
m x 3
Trying to build on something good
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 285
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I second ENs. People with LB prolems (incoming and outgoing) seem to congregate there.


Me 49 SAHD; W 41 SAHM; DS3, DS4.
Seven year affairage.
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
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Posts: 945
Quote:
The first marriage (< 2 years) was in response to an unplanned pregnancy, and only because of the pregnancy. The second (also < 2 years) was because of inertia. The third (11 years) was a true failure


Please define "inertia" under this circumstance and your definition of "true failure" in third marriage?

GG


D-Day #1 Aug/2007.
D-Day #2 1/27/12
Legally Separated

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