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I can not explain it but to me it is "bashing women in general". I betcha we women can take it, no? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes i agree that we can take it but for some reason it just bothers me a lot and i really know i should just stay away from threads like these.
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Still: Did you, or Black Raven? read ANY of this thread? Why in the world would a wife NOT like this book??? After reading: "The man comes to offer his strength and the woman invites the man into herself, an act that requires courage and vulnerability and selflessness for both of them. Notice first that if the man will not rise to the occasion, nothing will happen. He must move, his strength must swell before he can enter her. But neither will the love consummate unless the woman opens herself in stunning vulnerability. When both are living as they were meant to live, the man enters the woman and offers her his strength. He spills himself there, in her, for her, she draws him in, embraces and envelops him. When all is over, he is spent, but ah, what a sweet death it is." I would not have read this book. It read like a soft porn Harlequin novel to me.  Not my thing and I really tried reading more but it just wasn't working for me. Totally agree with you!!! Sure, I read the first post, then the ENTIRE thread. I read the quote that Pep posted, and could have "only" seen the sexual aspect of the description. But I saw the MUCH deeper meaning of it all. I didn't even have to read the rest of the book to know that I SHOULD be reading it. You can fit many of Dr. Harley's EN's into that quoted passage. Think about it. LG I read the first couple of pages of thread and that was as far as i went. But i still think that the passage from the book sounds like not too short of porn and i would probably not even purchase the book if this were say on the back cover.
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Yes i agree that we can take it but for some reason it just bothers me a lot and i really know i should just stay away from threads like these. Good idea! Scratch your mad place and get glad! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Still:
Did you, or Black Raven? read ANY of this thread? I read up until about pg 6 and then I gave up.  I love men too and have no problem with a "male role." If the first part was like a preview to a movie, I just wasn't feeling it. I realize there could be more but the first impression was ummmmmm NO. I could be missing out...kinda like you should taste a dish twice before you decide you don't like it, but even without the mushy stuff I still don't think it's my cup of tea.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I read up until about pg 6 and then I gave up. Well, at least that explains why you're still posting on this thread which you haven't read  and don't like
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I read up until about pg 6 and then I gave up. Well, at least that explains why you're still posting on this thread which you haven't read and don't like I made a first post with my opinion and a second to answer a open question to another poster. And I'm posting now to make comment to LG's comment in another thread so there is a reason for the posts. I read the whole thing LG. I can understand the appeal to some. I'm neutral. My general idea of what makes a man a man isn't that much different but maybe not expressed the same. But since it is said that men hate when women try to change or improve them, wouldn't most men get upset/insulted if their W suggested this book to them?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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wouldn't most men get upset/insulted if their W suggested this book to them? I can't speak for "most men", but I did buy this book for my husband. He was not insulted. Does that count?
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Remember ladies, if you ever betray the hero, he will toss you in the volcano if he gets the chance.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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wouldn't most men get upset/insulted if their W suggested this book to them? I can't speak for "most men", but I did buy this book for my husband. He was not insulted. Does that count? Of course. But I'm not sure most wouldn't have a hostile knee jerk reaction that their wife thinks he not a man or that she thinks he needs a book to tell him that.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Remember ladies, if you ever betray the hero, he will toss you in the volcano if he gets the chance. Not unless he has a bigger pistola than me.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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But I'm not sure most wouldn't have a hostile knee jerk reaction that their wife thinks he not a man or that she thinks he needs a book to tell him that. Again, I cannot speak for "most men" ... but I do understand what you are saying. On this very thread I was met with initial (gentle, or not so gentle) hostility by some of my male MB friends --- and those same men READ the book and later thanked me for starting this thread. So, whatever initial knee jerk reaction I was the recipient of - it's OK - because I actually helped a few people.  Which is my goal anyway. Not to win people over to my side - but to offer something I think might be helpful.
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I read the whole thing LG. What was the main message of this thread, as you understand it?
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I read the whole thing LG. What was the main message of this thread, as you understand it? Is this a test. lol I'll respond after lunch....I'm hungry.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Posts: 35,996
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We can't have a meaningful discussion if we're not talking about the same subject. Go eat. Enjoy.
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I read the whole thing LG. What was the main message of this thread, as you understand it? The cliffnote version: A man should not be seeking validated of himself with women. Trying to be the knight with a woman as motivation is short sighted. What happens if she is no longer there? A man should strive to be that knight for himself and God with the thought that if you are true to yourself and Him that the wife will see you as Da Man (swoon baby swoon) and WANT to be good compliment to her H. Men who have be wounded by their earthly father will have to heal as it would be difficult to be a leader of the household if they are still bleeding from old wounds.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I am having some sort of internal struggle, and have for about 6 months or so. Have been reading, studying, fasting, working out, praying, etc. Looking like I am going to have to reach out for help at some point (hard to admit). This is a really good thread, I really, really liked these quotes by Shul: When I read these passages, it suggests to me that the responsibility for harmony in a marriage lies with the man, primarily.
Shul The very word 'husbandry', suggests responsibility for the wellbeing of the creatures being 'husbanded'.
Shul Yes Shul, that is what is natural, that is what being a husband was for many millennium, it has been lost. Other then the Bible the best book I have read on this subject, of husbandry, would be Reformed Marriage by Douglas Wilson. On the other end Fascinating Womenhood by Helen Andelin. Have found myself quite exasperated by the men here (nice guy syndrome), I suppose that is a DJ, however I remember MelodyLane becoming quite frustrated a month or so back about the lack of spine in the men here, and I think she posted a thread about it? Any how, might be a lack of perspective on my part, never had to deal with infidelity in my marriage.
Me 43
DW 41
married 16 years
6 kids
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