I let OW's H (they have been separated and I previously exposed the affair to him), know my WH had moved out and that OW'H might see the affairees out and about (she lives very close to her separated H). It was a simple, matter of fact talk (I thought!)

He called her and embellished a lot of stuff (outright lying about me calling him and saying provocotive stuff). Obviously he is peeved still about the affair and years of dishonesty and hiding it from him.

OW told my WH ....and then called her estranged H back and so on.

Talk about a true case of 'telephone' where things get goofier and goofier.

Now. OW's H called me back to make sure I said stuff (to cover his basis....lol) and

I was sucked into a vortex I don't want to be in.

OW has made me out to be a lying,crazed fatal attraction lady (talk about projecting your own issues on someone else!) Her estranged H is obviously playing headgames with her (maybe himself) too. Sheesh

All because I informed OW's H about the separation.

Wow.

In plan B......do you need to stop talking to the OW's H? Stop exposing to new folks?

What do you think?

Calm me down here and help me get back into the plan B.....sanctuary of not being in the drama!

reading, it is good to inform the OP's spouse of the current status and to finish up any exposures.

I am confused, though, why you think it was the OWH and not the liar, the OW, who mischaracterized your call to the OWH? My first suspicions would go to the most corrupt party, ie: the OW.

That is an excellent point Melodylane and it MAY be her. Probably IS her. She is lying to make herself appear the victim (of me...for cryin' out loud)

Its just that the OW'H called me back and I am assuming that one of them embellished/lied....maybe both (like the game telephone...yk?)

She IS a known liar.

Guess it is rough for me....a truth teller to have my reputation questioned. Guess I need to get over that. The truth is the truth and lies about it don't make them so just as lies are lies whether they are revealed or not (the affairees existance)

Thank you for replying Melodylane.

reading, who is questioning your reputation?

p.s. did you expose to the OW's parents too?

Her parents (from another country) are dead.

A relative of WH's told me the OW has been trying to spew stuff about me to WH (who isn't sure who to believe....he wants to believe his OW who he doesn't think would lie to him cause she is 'so good and wonderful' and yet I have never lied to him so I guess he leans one way or another depending on the moment)

Then he talks about it with family who questions who I really am.

Some want to believe the best of me, some the worse. They all seem befuddled by me talking to people and exposing. Like I should be a quiet, good wife who lets her WH run his course without any action.

I do believe in MB plans though.

sweet!! This will work against her in every way. She will make your H defensive OF YOU and alienate herself from others by doing this. Adulterers are so retarded, ain't they?

The OWH in my sitch became a valuable informant and I did the same for him. At first it is crazy, because you aren't used to having your spouses lie to you so much. The vortex will settle down. You don't need to avoid the OWH but you don't want to be best friends, either. After a while, you want to remove yourself from the affair as much as possible and OWH will just dredge things up again. Nevertheless, he is an ally.

Have you called his family to explain what you're doing? I mean now, after you've heard the latest saga, not the first time.

You can't explain away logic. Just be logical with them. Talk about fog, etc., talk about statistics of getting your spouse back, etc. And ask them once again to help you save your family. Their family.

Do it once, and then walk away from it. Turn the other cheek to anything else that happens. YOU will know the truth when you look in the mirror.