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I agree with Marsh, TM...And you know what? I'm starting to wonder if you really did hit on the moms with that first email contact, or if that is just what they are leading you to believe in a effort to stop you from really getting in touch with her parents...Sneaky little wayward type tactic...If I were you, I'd move heaven and earth making absolutely certain that you contacted the parents...

You really are doing well, TM...We just want to ensure that you have all of the bases covered...We very much want to see this affair crumble, so we'll all continue to push you, but hold your hand while doing so, deal? (((((TM)))))

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Originally Posted by MrsWondering
I agree with Marsh, TM...And you know what? I'm starting to wonder if you really did hit on the moms with that first email contact, or if that is just what they are leading you to believe in a effort to stop you from really getting in touch with her parents...Sneaky little wayward type tactic...If I were you, I'd move heaven and earth making absolutely certain that you contacted the parents...

You really are doing well, TM...We just want to ensure that you have all of the bases covered...We very much want to see this affair crumble, so we'll all continue to push you, but hold your hand while doing so, deal? (((((TM)))))

Mrs. W

Thank you Mrs W - they are my first hugs. The first in a very long time.

I am so sure I got OW parents because I remember her telling me what one's first name is and the other's surname.

I am down today.

One of OW's friends sent me a copy of an e-mail WS sent to OW's friends:

This is WS. I write this "without prejudice" to my legal position in the eventual divorce proceedings.

I�m sending this in response to the e-mail that you may or may not have received this morning from my ex.

I apologise to everyone being involved in a matter between me and my psychotic ex.

Yes, I was with her 22 years but during this time she treated me and my family badly. That�s why I left her.

As an error of judgment on my part, I agreed to go on holiday a while back with her as an school exam treat for her niece. This was promised a year ago in 2007 and I try to always keep promises. I did not have a great time.

OW and I are in love and BS is trying to destroy this.

I am a cheater and I treated WS badly.

I have apologised. BUT she treated me equally as bad over 22 years and she admits that. We have grown apart for last 10 years well before I met OW. When I left BS the intention was to set her free to find someone better than me

She chooses however to be vindictive and send nasty e-mails. This is an example of the nastiness she has shown my dear brother and wife. This nastiness is why we broke up not because of OW. OW is completely innocent in this.

BS knows this and can't acknowledge that we are over and its time to move on.

Again I am sorry for involving everyone

WS


I am so upset about this because all the stuff he says about me is lies. Honestly, it is. I have admitted my failings as a wife in meeting his needs. But I haven't treated him equally badly and I have never been nasty to anyone. Ever. In my whole life. I admit to moaning about people behind their backs but most people do that, don't they?

I don't know what it would be worth contacting anyone else. The replies that I have received so far show that they are generally people without morals and of fairly low intelligence.


Me:41
WS:42
Together 22 yrs, No kids
ILYBNILWY: April 09
WS & OW: Oct 08 - present
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((((TM))))

I am so sorry i really am. that is such a horrid thing for him to do especially since he called you to check up on how you were doing, why be so two faced, Im not making excuses for him but I guarantee OW will have had alot to do with that.

Next step is to remember that OW and her friends will be watching your reaction on your FB profile update so use that for all you can. USE IT TO DEFEND YOURSELF update your status like this for instance

,,,,Is feeling baffled by her exes two faced behaviour, one minute he is kissing my neck in the living room, calling me to check if im ok the next minute he is claiming im psycotic. Hummm whos behaviour sounds more psycotic to you?? LOL

Get nasty lady Plan A is over he is obviousely too much of a whimp to follow his feelings, letting OW influence what he does, well show him that you mean business and start spilling the beans.

Ill even add you as friend on FB and comment on your status to fuel the fire if needs be, NO MORE MRS NICE from you from now on pleaseeeeeeee

Last edited by Brutallyhonest28; 11/14/09 04:00 PM.

BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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Hi Brutallyhonest28,

Thank you for your words of support. And the hugs.
I'm not sure that I want to get into a slanging match with OW. She is really not worth my effort.


Me:41
WS:42
Together 22 yrs, No kids
ILYBNILWY: April 09
WS & OW: Oct 08 - present
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That was a slanging match with WS, not OW, hes the one calling you psycotic.


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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This is the rantings of an OW's fury - and I'll bet you anything that SHE is the one who wrote this, NOT your WS.


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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((((TM))))

I'm so sorry you are hurting.

But, please know that the only reason he wrote such an untrue, unkind letter like that was to try to clean up the ugly from their A. He'd never have written it if your exposure wasn't hurting their A.

People who are in affairs are addicted to them, same as a drug addict, and just as a drug addict will lie and steal to get their drugs so will someone in the midst of an A.

TM, I PROMISE you that every DECENT person who reads that email will see right through it! They will see what is honestly going on....what he is trying to do.

Those who aren't decent don't matter to you.

Please don't take what he said to heart. It is his addiction speaking. NOT REALITY.


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Originally Posted by KaylaAndy
This is the rantings of an OW's fury - and I'll bet you anything that SHE is the one who wrote this, NOT your WS.

I was thinking the same thing... Or at the very least she dictated the emails.

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Ok time to really break this down, if it was done with WS knowledge then here is what i would say

This is WS. I write this "without prejudice" to my legal position in the eventual divorce proceedings.

...................................................

WITHOUT PREJUDICE? you got to be kidding me right, your not at all prejudiced to look good in front of OW friends, yeah right.
EVENTUAL divorve proceedings?? why are they so eventual as opposed to actually in progress?? Hummmm. no explanation there

-------------------------------------------------
I�m sending this in response to the e-mail that you may or may not have received this morning from my ex.
..................................................

WRONG try again! your not his ex till divorce your still legally married so think again
-----------------------------------------------------

I apologise to everyone being involved in a matter between me and my psychotic ex.
...................................................
WRONG WRONG AND WRONG AGAIN, this is wrong on so many levels dont even know where to start, 1)Apologise all you like but your still the one with OW involving her and her friends in your unresolved MESS, 2) Its no longer a matter between two people cause you keep involving women in your flipping marriage, 3)Yeah your wife is the psycotic one not the ugly POS sitting next to you getting you to write this and ignoring the fact your a SERIAL CHEATER. ok then if you say so! 4) your still legally married to your wife so no she aint your ex numpty.
-------------------------------------------------------

Yes, I was with her 22 years but during this time she treated me and my family badly. That�s why I left her.
..............................................

This one really takes the bisquit, she treated you badly yeah ok right, bull!! she supported your carreer by letting you go on assignments aborad that lasted forever and unlike you when you werent there to meet her EN's due to your job she didnt jump in the sack with the nearest person who does, she treated you so badly that when you came back from your assignment and told her you wanted to date other people she loved you enough to say yes, ummm didums my heart breaks for you and how badly your wife treated you (NOT). She is supporting you and loving you despite your obvious and repeated unfaithfullness flaws. No one will ever love you like that again because you dont have another GOOD 22 years to give anyone who is worth a damn, you now only attract scum because thats the level you are choosing to sink to.
----------------------------------------------------

As an error of judgment on my part, I agreed to go on holiday a while back with her as an school exam treat for her niece. This was promised a year ago in 2007 and I try to always keep promises. I did not have a great time.
.............................................

I ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES??? really what planet are you on?? marriage vowes mean anything to you?? i bet you promised OW that its over between you and your W so why you smooching her on the sofa while OW is upstairs unpacking in the london flat!
Could it be maybe just maybe that you didnt have a great time on the holiday because you were feeling like a low life for the horrid time you have given your wife, go look in the mirror, your the one with the problem pal!
---------------------------------------------------------

OW and I are in love and BS is trying to destroy this.

.............................................

Yeah ok your so in love that your threatened by an email and had to reply and justify this supposed love, how can you love someone and get them involved in your mess like this?? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?? my guess is NOT
--------------------------------------------------------
I am a cheater and I treated WS badly.
.......................................
FINALLY a truthful sentance, yes your a cheater and you have treated EVERYONE badly
-------------------------------------------------

I have apologised. BUT she treated me equally as bad over 22 years and she admits that. We have grown apart for last 10 years well before I met OW. When I left BS the intention was to set her free to find someone better than me.
..............................................
She treated you that badly that you cant give one example to show how this was, my guess is because your talking a load of S,,,,.
OHHH didums so you go and inflict yourself (whom you admit can be better) on OW and claim that you love her, why not go be on your own then and better yourself so you can be a fit enough human before inflicting yourself on another woman??
-------------------------------------------------

She chooses however to be vindictive and send nasty e-mails. This is an example of the nastiness she has shown my dear brother and wife. This nastiness is why we broke up not because of OW. OW is completely innocent in this.

BS knows this and can't acknowledge that we are over and its time to move on.

Again I am sorry for involving everyone

Blah Blah Blah get a brain of your own you numpty and start actually thinking for yourself, Yeah OW is as innocent as a mass murderer on death penalty, remind me who sent your wife a nasty email, oh wait it was OW. Remind me who is so insecure right now that is getting you to literally pee on 22 years of friendship and marriage, oh wait i think i know the answer, OW. Remind me who took you into their bed knowing you had a wife, once again easy to guess OW. Need i carry on?



Im so mad on your behalf TM that if he was here thats what i would say to him and her demented friend who sent you that email.
arghhhhhhhhhh


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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Originally Posted by Marshmallow
Originally Posted by KaylaAndy
This is the rantings of an OW's fury - and I'll bet you anything that SHE is the one who wrote this, NOT your WS.

I was thinking the same thing... Or at the very least she dictated the emails.

Thankyou KaylaAndy and Marshmallow. They may have discussed the content but the words do sound like WS.
I am at my wit's end now. I think I will lie low for a while. He does effectively say in his reply that I am too good for him, so maybe he is right and I should move on to find someone I do deserve. I will give it some thought.


Me:41
WS:42
Together 22 yrs, No kids
ILYBNILWY: April 09
WS & OW: Oct 08 - present
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You are wayyyyy too good for him but thats no consolation when your in love with him hun.

When you eventually get over him whenever and if that ever happens please give him a big kick in the gonads from me.

Last edited by Brutallyhonest28; 11/14/09 05:50 PM.

BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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I think BH broke down WS email about as well as Schoolbus would have!

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is that a good thing or a bad thing OH??


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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Originally Posted by Brutallyhonest28
is that a good thing or a bad thing OH??

Schoolbus rocks! And so do you!

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thanks im so angry with this wayward there is no excuse for his stupid behaviour, TM is such a lovely person that i almost feel sorry for him for missing out on spending the rest of his life with her, the only excuse i can think up for his behaviour is that he must have been dropped on his head as a baby and even then i would question why such an injury took so long to manifest itself.
TM hold your head up high he is someone elses problem now.


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
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Originally Posted by Brutallyhonest28
thanks im so angry with this wayward there is no excuse for his stupid behaviour, TM is such a lovely person that i almost feel sorry for him for missing out on spending the rest of his life with her, the only excuse i can think up for his behaviour is that he must have been dropped on his head as a baby and even then i would question why such an injury took so long to manifest itself.
TM hold your head up high he is someone elses problem now.

The thing is, TM's WH is following the same script as every other wayward whose A has been exposed.

"My BS is crazy." "Our M is over." "OP and I are in love." "BS didn't treat me right."

same same

This is normal behavior for a wayward.

TM, this A WILL end. The only question is whether or not you want to wait it out or not.

Now might be a good time to work on your PBL.






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I was just thinking that, Marshmallow. It might be looking like time for Plan B.

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UM,

Marsh and Kayla are completely right onthis one.....I thought the VERY same thing. OW had a major hand in that email, no matter what. You've made there A look exactly what it is.....trash. Don't play into it....and yes he is playing the wayward script to a T,

Keep holding that pretty little head of yours high, stick that chest out and don't let this get you down...(((TM))). And I also agree you should be thinking of Plan B.......

Not2fun

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TM, my EW called me psychotic all while trying to get OM to kill me.

They have cheerleading toxic friends working against you, they are feeding off the drama.

Time for plan B, however he will take it as you gave up and are accepting the affair.

You REALLY need some sort of Legal Separation Agreement where YOU get spousal support.

THAT will irritate OW to no end.


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Here's what I would put on my own FB:

lol, you wouldn't believe what lies my cheating husband and his skank-ho wrote about me, in their pathetic attempt to make their adulterous affair look legitimate.

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