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Re: Is this really broken NC?
writer1 #2280893 12/01/09 03:34 PM
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catperson Offline
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I guess what I'm really thinking is...access to FB when you are with your significant other. How many of us (raising hand) plop down on the couch to watch tv with spouse, with our laptops on our laps? Or go into the office and sit at the computer when our spouse is home? That's what I'm talking about in regards to harming our relationships.
Re: Is this really broken NC?
catperson #2280911 12/01/09 04:11 PM
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Neak Offline
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Writer, I almost totally agree with you, and am a big FB fan myself.

However, for a FWS who conducted their A on FB, or whose OP is in the same circle of friends, it's not just another tool. Because of the way FB works, things from the FOP could pop up without warning, causing all kinds of triggers, risk of a relapse, and blocking a full R for both spouses.

A cell phone isn't going to randomly call the FOP, and a computer won't randomly email or search them. FB is always trying to make connections, and suggesting friends, and posting all posts other people have made to all your friends. So in many cases, losing FB is an essential part of R.

For those whose FOP is not anywhere in their circle of friends and FB was not involved in the A, I'd say go for it, and just be alert as with any other medium.

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb


Neak's Story
Re: Is this really broken NC?
catperson #2280918 12/01/09 04:34 PM
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writer1 Offline
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Cliffs of Insanity
Originally Posted by catperson
I guess what I'm really thinking is...access to FB when you are with your significant other. How many of us (raising hand) plop down on the couch to watch tv with spouse, with our laptops on our laps? Or go into the office and sit at the computer when our spouse is home? That's what I'm talking about in regards to harming our relationships.

Guilty as charged. But then, the same could probably be said about this site. I guess moderation is the key.

Neak: I think what I'm trying to figure out is why the block feature on FB seems to work for some, but not for others. My A wasn't conducted on FB, but my OM is on FB and we have over 40 friends in common. I have been unable to see any trace of him on FB since I blocked him. He doesn't even show up as a Friend on any of our mutual friends' lists. If I try to search for his name on FB, I get no results. I tried all of this out the day I blocked him, just to make sure. He's been blocked since early Sept. and I've never seen a single indication that he even exists since that time. I think I'm just confused why the block feature is failing for some and not for others.

Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
Re: Is this really broken NC?
writer1 #2280956 12/01/09 05:44 PM
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staytogether Offline OP
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Blocking failed for me because OM appeared in a picture on a friends wall - he wasn't tagged (named) in the picture therefore FB didn't know to block it.
Re: Is this really broken NC?
staytogether #2280957 12/01/09 05:47 PM
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writer1 Offline
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Originally Posted by staytogether
Blocking failed for me because OM appeared in a picture on a friends wall - he wasn't tagged (named) in the picture therefore FB didn't know to block it.

Oh. I never considered that possibility. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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